I tried to think of a comeback about how safe caesareans are, but then remembered when my wife said she started feeling faint during hers and the brick I shat as a response.
I saw the suction containers during my wife’s C section. I wish I hadn’t seen the suction containers.
Also I went around to see the baby and basically saw them frantically stuffing my wife’s insides back in. At least that’s where my imagination went after 27 hours of labor and a brief glance at an emergency c section.
Free contraception, physical sterilization, and abortions for all who knowingly consent.
Elect me God Emperor of the world for life and I will ensure that no woman will have to endure pregnancy or birth and will be paid $100,000 for their sacrificing motherhood with permanent sterilization. Humanity relies on women for our future and no woman should have to bear that burden.
We actually hired two sleep training consultants. The second one after my wife was so exhausted we just wanted some hope. Neither was worth the money but the 2nd one felt the most like a ripoff.
My son is almost 4 now and has been sleeping a lot better for quite a while now thankfully. I think I have gotten enough brains back to finish my PhD.
That’s the nature of the relationship right out of the box (so to speak). Part of it is distinguishing between “I really need something” and “I don’t want to do this.” Our youngest is 2 now and it takes time to get there, but he goes to bed at 8pm.
At first, you go to bed with them, on the ground and you let them cry it out. Once they get used to the routine, things will go much faster but that first week is tough. Routine is also the key. We do bath, reading, bed. Our oldest has snuck in there a bunch of items, but it’s the same routine every night. Getting back to the sleep training, after that first week and they get used to it, you can start just dropping them in there, hanging out a minute, and walking out. This too will be met with protest at first, but you let them cry it out and it stops pretty soon after. Ours occasionally yells when going to bed at first, but most of the time we just hear him talking until he drops out.
Sleeping through the night takes time, but the main thing is to try to feed a lot before bed. Naps in the day shouldn’t be too long either, but are still key to brain development.
There’s a really nice article on sleep training over at the BBC. It’s a long read, but the bottom line is that the research on sleep training effectiveness is sketchy at best. Sometimes short term benefits are shown, mostly for the parents (children still wake up, parents just don’t realize). but it’s very difficult to remove biases when people’s children are involved. There also seems to be a large variance between children and what works for one will not work for all.
The good news is that in the long term it doesn’t seem to matter much. Sleep trained or not, a large majority of children are able to sleep through the night at 20 months old.
I’ve done it 3 times and our results work, but for each their own. I was just sharing how.
I have friends that have struggled though. A couple I know still have their 7 year old crawling into their bed every night. A different couple have their son showing up at 3am and gets them up.
Consistent lack of sleep can have detrimental effects both physically and mentally. We manage a good night’s rest the vast majority of the time (sickness or other outliers being the exception).
Yeah that didn’t work for me. Just made it harder on my “fall asleep on the couch from 12am until 3am then wake up and goto bed until work at 5:30am” routine.
Exactly this worked for me. Just be consistent until it sticks. It can take months, easily. But it works in the end. 10:30 pm - 6:00 am is now baked into my mind and I usually just wake up naturally like 10 minutes before the alarm. I actually love it 😁
Of all those, I bet getting the dog was the biggest factor, lol. They need you when they need you. The threat of waking up to a puddle of pee is a motivator.
I miss my dogs so so much, but since I live alone and work ungodly hours these days, I don’t see dog ownership happening again until retirement. As things presently stand, I cannot be the owner a dog deserves.
Historical I have always had trouble getting to sleep, and since becoming a parent I experience waves of easy and difficult nights. This has been the case for four years now. For a while here I was falling asleep in minutes every night and things were pretty good. But the past few weeks have been awful. I’ll go to bed at 9:30 feeling ready to die, but most nights the last time I remember seeing on my clock was ~2am, and I’m getting up at either 4 or 6 for work.
I don’t know what to do, but I’m still ready to die.
Currently up while my baby sleeps next to me. Some of us put the baby to bed and then lie in a dark silent room for two hours then wake up at 4am to feed the baby and are up 2 more hours.
It sounds fake, but it might genuinely be your genes. Scientifically the natural tendency to sleep at specific time is called your chronotype and it’s semi-genetic (it also changes with age and possibly few other factors). Not only that, it also affects your alertness: morning people usually have the highest alertness just after waking up and it gradually declines throughout the day, while evening people usually wake up with very low mental functions, but then their alertness slowly rises and hits its’ peak around 5-6PM.
So if you ever wondered how it’s possible that you always wake up feeling like shit, while others talk about how they’re so full of energy in the morning. That’s how. They’re literally built different.
Could you point me in the direction of some source/further reading? I would love to have something substantive to share next time I get shamed for my lifelong struggle to become a morning person.
it requires doing it over and over again and accepting that it’s gonna make you feel kinda shitty. I’m at my best by 11am. When I used to work overnight til 5am, 11am was when I woke up. When I worked bars 5-close, 11am. Now that I work a 9-5, I’m physically there at 9, but I’m useless til 11am. When I fall asleep has changed as my schedule did, for each of those schedules I was in bed at 6am, 4am and midnight respectively. But when the machinery came online has never changed: 11am.
Eh, everyone’s a little different, and for some it may well be impossible.
Real answer is conditioning, with most of the suggestions being means to get that rolling. The unwritten part is while you’re conditioning youself, you’re probably gonna be miserable for a while, unless you’re one of us folks with a genetic legacy of farmers and soldiers.
I know this is WhitePeopleTwitter, and not a direct ask; but the easiest way is to tackle it from the wake-up time, rather than forcing yourself to try and fall asleep at 10pm.
Pick a day with few responsibilities, (e.g. Saturday ) that way you won’t be too negatively impacted if you don’t get enough sleep. Set MULTIPLE alarms to 6am to force you out of bed; proceed with your day as normal, minimise screen time and bright lights after 9pm, and go to bed at 10pm.
Make sure you keep waking up at 6 am and don’t nap/go back to sleep; brute force your body to adapt. It should work as quickly as in 72hrs.
Some of it is genetic but mostly it’s conditioning, like in the Military.
EDIT: To clarify, veterans often (but not always) wake up before dawn consistently for decades after their service. I don’t really recommend it as an option, but it’s proof of concept.
Yeah, I got the conditioning during college. Work 32 hours a week while taking 15 credits, you won’t have time for sleep. Work 7:30am-4pm MWF, go right to campus for some homework and dinner before class 6pm-9pm. Then go home and do homework/sleep. Tu/Tr have class from 10am-2pm and work 3pm-7pm and then work on homework, housework, gym. You won’t have the energy to stay up late.
Honestly, if you’re working remotely, finding a job that has a better fitting schedule, is indeed a good idea. Moving there, though, might not work out as your body might drag you to the same sleeping patterns you had before.
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