oh wow okay this is a huge bug they're fixing in activitypub for wordpress and it's pretty likely it's also the cause of my problems with federation stopping working every so often:
I have blog followers from more than 10 different instances on the first page of my blog's follower list, so this is definitely hitting me. And if unfollowing and re-following puts my instance back into the list in the first ten, that would explain why that works.
They're dropping the new version early this week. Watch for this one, it's very important!
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