Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

I can sometimes be slow to notice the elephant in the room & the eggshells on the floor (the problem that everyone carefully denies and manages so as not to upset anyone), but once I do notice, I want to confront and solve it.

The problem in this instance is my MIL’s insistence that she & FIL continue to live in a house too large to manage on an acre of rambling garden in an isolated location at the top of a narrow windy road.

Of course solving such a thing is not always possible, & if I’m not the main person affected, the person doing their best to support & manage the situation, it’s not my problem. Attempting to solve it might just make the situation worse for that person & leave others feeling judged & hurt.

It’s a boundary issue, & one I struggle with.

@actuallyautistic

msdropbear42,

@sister_ratched @Susan60 As i said, i know i'm not of the vibe, but my logic is simple (& predicated fwiw on the identical thinking i used yonks ago when i created & distributed my specifying the range of circumstances in which i want no resuscitation, & indeed to have voluntary euthanasia if legal... or otherwise doable). It's simply this; if a peep makes important decisions about their future, decline, & demise, when still fully marbled, & fully aware that eventually various health & pragmatic problems will arise, but still makes said decision in full awareness of these, then... fam/friends should respect this & back off. I think that my attitude differs from the vibe coz unlike most, i regard existence as a bane not blessing, to be endured until one can viably exit, & not be interfered with to obstruct that aspiration. The vast majority don't concur, & i understand that, which is why i'm not advocating my position for the masses, only for those of like mind. Btw, i'm not trying to convince you & others, coz this is a matter of ideology & philosophy, but instead simply to explain an alternative perspective.

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