Your mother is right, Samantha. Just use your magic already. If your husband doesn’t like it, then he can do the housework. Literally no one else cares. #InsultAFictionalCharacter #HashtagGames
Hey Atticus -- just wanted to remind you that YOU LOST. Your client got convicted and he went to prison and now he's dead. NIce lawyering job there, buddy. But hey, enjoy patting yourself on the back for having such high principles.
Midge, dump Moose ASAP. What do you see in him, anyway? He's got "future restraining order and/or prison sentence" written all over him. On top of being so stupid it's a miracle he's sentient; he's clearly only in the same grade as you since he wins Riverdale High football games.
Moose, you're the stupidest person I've ever seen in media, and that includes Ralph Wiggum. On top of that, you've got "future 6 o'clcok news subject" written all over you---where do you get off beating up any guy who talks to "your girl", let alone treat her like she's property? And don't bother trying to threaten me, you worthless thug, or you'll regret it.
Moose and Midge should fall under "get a divorce"'s non-married category, "dump your partner." (Same goes for Betty and Veronica re: Archie; a nice guy, but they both can do better than him.) Though the creepy domestic abuser-in-training vibe Moose gives off probably needed its own post...
Most of Gotham's problems could probably be solved by government reforms, not the private sector. Also, get some therapy, emo Richie Rich; bad stuff happens to other people and they don't act like robots or the manners of a goat.
I'd probably also throw in "a competent SWAT Team or the feds" re: most of Batman's villains, who these days are just committing domestic terrorism/mass murder while wearing Halloween costumes, and not really doing anything creative.
Granted, "the Joker was permanently stopped by... the Dept. of Homeland Security/government" would "ruin the story" (and likely have Batman's libertarian/conservative fans foaming at the mouth).
"Orthopedists demand that invincible superheroes stop with the one-knee landings in their movies!! We have kids coming in daily with shattered patellas, and patella glue is f*&%ing crazy expensive right now thanks to supply chain interruptions!! Knock it off, you primadonnas! It looks ridiculous and you're crippling our youth"
#InsultAFictionalCharacter #HashtagGames
Professor Moriarty: “The day I find myself outsmarted by that insufferable, priggish coke whore Sherlock Holmes is the day I shall submit myself to the sanitarium in Lambeth.”