Copied verbatim from my IG/FB posts with minor edits for names and local slang.
POD 365.
I am alive, but at what cost? The physical, psychological and professional damage is profound; I still live with chronic, albeit much less pain from how damaged my nervous system and brain has become; I still live in abject fear that the next time pain lances through me it’s getting cleaved with a claymore and not just a papercut; I still live running and chasing, held back from things I should have attained, compromising, sacrificing, wasting my youth playing catch-up.
But I’m still alive, and I have so many people to be thankful for. My endo surgeon and hepatopancreaticobilliary surgeon, for spending those six life-changing hours with me; my pain management attending, for his patience as I failed every single conventional pain medication, my intern year seniors, for desperately trying to get me to eat; the 9B nurses, who had to deal with me throwing up endlessly; and the head of benign gynaecology, who gave me the time and space to pull myself together to commit to the op… not to mention those not even directly involved in my care - mentors who stood by me every step of the way, the nurses who hugged me and gave me chocolate when they found me crying and crying and crying in the ward pantry, classmates who came to see me preop and postop, friends who sat with me in-game on pain-filled sleepless nights, and even the faculty who were incredibly accommodating throughout M5… the list goes on…
Objectively, post-excision life is better now.
I don’t spend every waking moment drowning in pain.
I don’t get accused of trying to skive if I have to take sick leave and explain myself to deaf ears.
I don’t have to titrate a whole fistful of analgesia, antiemetics, laxatives and PPIs anymore.
I can walk, and even run again.
And I can wear pants!!!!!!
Oh right, and I too am a doctor now, despite and in spite of my body failing me.
Painful periods are NOT NORMAL. I have been gaslit all my life by people around me - family, friends, doctors, the media, random people who think they know better - that it is normal for a period to be painful and that I need to suck it up and deal with it. NO. Absolutely not.
Pain is a fundamentally pathological process and should be respected and treated as such. ONE IN TEN women suffer from endometriosis, whether they know it or not.
It is not fair - abusive, even - to anyone experiencing pain of ANY KIND to be told it’s all in their head, they just need to be strong, or any other manner of gaslighting.
There is a cause and a cure, and it is negligent if not outright maleficent to not act on it.
New:
Female reproductive health impacts of #LongCOVID and associated illnesses including ME/#CFS, #POTS, and connective tissue disorders: a literature review