FlowerTree

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Hey, they say “Reduce, Reuse, Recycle” didn’t they.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Nah, Prince of Darkness is better than Archmage

…oh wait, wrong game

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Ori and the blind forest, a hat in time, deltarune. It’s amazing how good videogame soundtrack can get!

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Basically phone speakers at home, earbuds while away. As basic as you can get.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

The story of how I got my name was both interesting and mundane.

I played a videogame named Stardew Valley and created a female character there. I don’t really think about it much when choosing her name, I just wanted a plant-related feminine name so I chose Jasmine.

Many weeks later, my egg cracked and I randomly chose Jasmine as my new name. Later that day, I realized that the name was the same as my Stardew character.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

It’s not so much already on my mind.

I didn’t spend too much effort when choosing the name while Playing Stardew; it was the first name that clicked, and never in a million year I’d think to use that name for myself.

But I oversimplified it. Truth is, I also had quite a few other names on my mind when choosing my name specifically, Jasmine’s one of them. It took me a week before I settled on Jasmine and even more weeks before I was fully confident it’s the right name.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

If your culture is transphobic, you are allowed to just ignore or reject the bigoted parts (or any other parts you have no interest in) and be the woman you want to be (and are).

I know, but… idk… it still feels wrong. I’ve been taught for a very long time that trans people have no place in my culture, and that it is my duty to uphold my masculinity. I know I’m wrong, but it’s really hard to deprogram yourself after years of being taught.

I guess more exposure to trans culture will help, but it’s hard when even interacting with the trans community feels wrong. Maybe you know a way to make it easier?

---

But, I’ll be honest, my biggest problem right now is just how much I’ve tried to seek out transphobic content lately, it’s almost like a form of self harm. It’s even worse when I internalized and accepted the transphobic things I’ve found.

Of course, it’s harmful, and I’ve tried my best to stop myself from looking at transphobic content. But, in a way, I keep coming back for no reason.

I just wanted a way to stop myself from thinking and accepting transphobic stuff within. Maybe you know a way to help me stop looking at transphobic content as a form of self harm?

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

I always shied away from anything trans because I thought so many cultures are opposed to us. But you’re right, in a vacuum, I would me more than happy to be a girl, at least a part of me (we’re a bit plural). I think I should not stop dreaming to be a girl one day.

I feel that it’s wrong to go against everyone, so selfish. Then again, there’s a reason that defying what your culture say is a common trope in movies. Think of Moana, Cinderella, Romeo and Juliet, or even Aladdin.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Yes, it is perfectly okay to transition in any way that you want. It does not make you selfish. You don’t “owe it to your culture” to continue repressing by pretending to be something that you’re not. There is nothing wrong with being trans, and there is nothing wrong with you being yourself.

You’re right. Maybe there’s a reason “going against your culture and parents to do the right thing” is a common trope, and we consider the charactes who did it hero instead of villain.

Still, it’d be hard to reprogram decades of anti-trans stance brought on from my culture, even more so when it’s still proliferating and as things gets worse for us.

As for tackling your internalized transphobia, I would encourage you to stop intentionally seeking out transphobic content online - as you have already identified it is a form of digital self-harm.

It’s easy for me to avoid them most of the time, but it’s very hard when my mood is low. Worse, most of my transphobia nowadays comes from my head, not contents from the internet. I can’t exactly turn off my brain to avoid thinking of transphobic thoughts…

block yourself from going there if the impulse is too strong.

A good number of transphobia I had is from anti-trans laws news, which I find easily from most trans communities. When I hear transphobic laws passed, I tried my best to justify them even though I didn’t agree with them. It’s like I’m putting effort to become transphobic, even though deep down I don’t want to.

I would recommend talking with an LGBT+ friendly therapist if you are in a position to see one.

I think I might if things get worse, but there’s practically no LGBT friendly therapists around, nor do I have the money to see one.

Maybe I can contact a trans friendly hotline if they operate worldwide. Maybe like the trevor project or something like that.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

The canadians: profused sweating

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Unless it’s 2020, then saying “It doesn’t smell like anything here” is concerning…

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Yeah, I post more. Gotta do my part to make this community alive.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

To be fair, for some youtubers, their primary source of incomes are Patreon and In-Video Sponsorships, which can be done on Peertube. After all, we’ve seen some youtubers, notably The Linux Experiment, use Peertube.

The biggest hurdles here would be user base. It’d be difficult to grow peertube’s userbase because most creators there rely on youtube as an income-- unlike reddit or twitter where it’s mostly unpaid social media stuff, so most would be scared to move to a new platform as it’d be too detrimental to rebuild their userbase.

That and the instance’s funding, which, you know…

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

While I am quite worried with the change. Honestly, if there’s a will there’s a way, especially for a site as big as youtube with a huge target on their back.

People would find a way to get around the whole ad-block thing, especially with 3rd party site scraping client like Newpipe (or its equivalent on pc) or Invidious (sure, they got a bit of dmca going on, but there will probably be another individual willing to retake the mantle similar to revanced when vanced were shut down).

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

A man can dream…

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

Ah… to be honest, gender presentation does not necessarily imply gender identity. You can be feminine without being a girl, androgynous without being non-binary, or constantly shifting in presentation without being genderflux.

But there is nothing wrong with being genderflux if you want your character to be. Gender identity is something only you-- or your creator if you’re an OC I guess-- can determine.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

she’s a possessed plushie. Maybe she was possessed by a formerly male spirit and decided that possessing a feminine plushie and IDing as a woman was better for her?

Undertale lore! Or at least, it’s very similar.

I do have another fursona that is canonically trans. She was created in a vat as a military experiment as a male bioweapons project, but ended up transitioning really quickly using super secret government science after the project fell apart and they let her.

Now that’s a very interesting backstory. I, for some reason, imagine it like a furry version of Agent 47 wanting to transition, that’d be very interesting.

FlowerTree, 10 months ago

I do plan to incorporate inter-species discrimination into my story-- in fact, it’s the main plot of the story.

But for many of the things mentioned in this thread-- yeah I’m not gonna go that deep. I’ll just incorporate what I feel necessary and that’s it, most people will hand-wave the more minor detail anyway.