This is not the first time I’ve seen memes like this, and it makes me so glad I’m not involved in programming or software development. I would straight up die.
I’m happy for people who like these games, but I am so tired of seeing articles about them in my feeds. They are still companies, they still don’t care about you, just your money, but everyone acts like these two are their best friends and the saviors of gaming.
I’m not able to find this answer in old posts. Can we install games from the Microsoft store? I just claimed a free copy of Fallout 76 on PC from Prime Gaming and the MS store is telling me I need the XBOX app which sounds really weird to me.
If there was a way I’d love to find out so I can use my Steam Deck. I’ve googled around and haven’t found anything other then info on how to stream games if you have a game pass.
I know she was with the Maquis and never went to the Academy, but roll with me here. went to the Academy, but dropped out. Thank you Klanky for the correction....
I thought she WAS in the Academy but ended up leaving…
Edit: Yep, according to Memory Alpha:
Beginning in 2366, Torres attended Starfleet Academy, where she participated on the Academy decathlon team. She later admitted that after quitting “The track and field coach was furious with me” (VOY: “Basics, Part II”)
She also had to dodge several punches in the lab, which Chakotay later joked about, saying, “Only you, B’Elanna, could start a brawl in Astrotheory 101.” (VOY: “Future’s End, Part II”)
Interstellar history was, according to Torres, “the one subject I almost failed at the Academy.” (VOY: “Year of Heck”)
Also among her Academy training was EV suit simulations. She thought “they felt peaceful, like floating in the womb,” but years later, in actual practice, she said she felt “a little sick to [her] stomach.” (VOY: “Day of Honor”)
During her time at the Academy, B’Elanna dated Maxwell Burke; however, their relationship did not last long. (VOY: “Equinox”)
Ultimately, B’Elanna had a hard time fitting in, often getting into trouble with instructors and faculty. Within two years at the Academy, she was suspended once and had four disciplinary hearings against her. Even though quite a brilliant student and promising engineer, she eventually dropped out of the Academy in 2368, at the age of nineteen. (VOY: “Caretaker”, “Eye of the Needle”, “Parallax”, “Extreme Risk”)
One of Torres’ teachers at the Academy was Commander Zakarian, who taught Survival Strategies (VOY: “Caretaker”); another was Professor Chapman. Torres and Chapman argued constantly; she even later admitted that “I was always questioning his, his methods, his assumptions, and he was always slapping me down like some upstart kid.” She was later surprised to learn that Chapman thought she was one of the most promising students he had ever taught and was disappointed when she dropped out. He had placed a note in her permanent record saying he would support her if she ever reapplied. (VOY: “Parallax”)
Hello all, I am a 39M whose wife (42F) was just diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve had a suspicion ever since our 6 year old was diagnosed and we started doing a deep dive into it and realizing a lot of the symptoms fit her. Even some of the memes from this community helped her to start looking into it herself. She is relieved to find...
Thank you for your comments! I’ll try to reply to the pertinent points below:
Do you know what type of ADHD she has? Knowing that might change things a bit.
Inattentive. Being officially diagnosed hasn’t really changed a ton (it’s not like all of the sudden she changed how she acts) as we already have learned to deal with some of it, but it has helped to explain some things.
I struggle a lot with executive dysfunction, and if I’m overwhelmed it tends to compound into paralysis. I have a lot of trouble staying organized and I’m constantly losing things, which causes me to be late a lot, and when I’m late my anxiety gets worse.
I try to think about things I do every day, and make them available to do in as few steps as possible. I like to keep items I use frequently near the area I use them in, kept together with other items needed to complete the task in little “kits” so that it doesn’t take much thought to do daily stuff.
Yeah she definitely seems to have the executive dysfunction issues, can be very disorganized and have time blindness, which is nothing new. I like the idea of the kits you’re talking about, I’ll have to mention that to her (she knows I made this post as well). She doesn’t have the anxiety/depression part (although I struggle with anxiety and am on medication for it myself) so at least that is one less thing for her to deal with. I’m sorry you have those extra challenges!
Think minimalist, uncluttered, functional areas. For example, if she drinks coffee every morning, have the mugs on a stand near the coffee maker, have the coffee already in the coffee maker so she only needs to start it, and keep any sweeteners, etc she always uses near the mugs.
Another example, going to work is particularly stressful for me, so I try to lessen the amount of decisions and prep I have to do before hand. Getting all of my clothes and things I bring to work together the night before I have to work helps me a lot, because it lessens the chances of me being late, which helps with the anxiety overall.
For me, it feels like every decision I have to make, every lost item I have to find, every time I leave the room to get something and immediately forget what I went to get, my energy is drained. So minimizing these problems makes everything so much easier.
It’s funny, I’m definitely more of the minimalist in our relationship, while she is the pack rat. Areas being super cluttered definitely ups my anxiety and stress, and it has definitely led to friction. I like to put things away when I’m done with them or when I first come home, but she’ll just put stuff down and then almost becomes blind to it being there while it’s seriously stressing me out. I know I haven’t handled those situations in the best way in the past, but I am really trying to focus on the fact that now we know for sure that it is the ADHD.
When I have tried to help my putting her things away, it never seems to end well. Either I end up putting them somewhere that makes sense to me but not her, or I ask her what to do with it and it feels like I’m judging/attacking her. It has turned in to me basically ignoring her piles of clutter (other then to make them a little tidier on whatever surface they are on) and just straightening up my and our son’s stuff (or family stuff that I know clearly where it goes) while cleaning around them. Do you have any suggestions for good neutral questions to ask that would help her not feel like I’m shaming or attacking her for the stuff being out?
I have found that doing what I can to help her get prepared the night before or morning of she has something to do has helped, as well as minimizing the amount of questions I have to ask so she has less of a mental load. I can be a bit of an idiot sometimes so I had fallen into a bad habit of just asking her stuff that I probably could figure out on my own, so I am doing my best to change that.
If I’m really struggling, a messy area makes anything I have to do so much worse. If I feel like I can’t do anything at all and the room is dirty and chaotic, everything is going to be so much harder. I don’t know if your wife’s symptoms are similar to mine, but if I’m a zombie and I can’t do anything and I’m doomscrolling Lemmy too much, having my partner help me by tidying the area around me makes a big difference. I feel like I can function a bit better.
Honestly, I feel like this is me! Somehow, she functions better in a cluttered environment than me, almost like she’s blind to it (I think I may have mentioned that so apologies).
There are times when I look like I’m being lazy, but I’m not. I might look like I’m just sitting around doing nothing or scrolling or playing some dopamine-extracting game all day, but in my head I’m thinking about how I want to do everything and I’m screaming at myself to do something, but I just…can’t. I don’t know if she has exacutive dysfunction like I do, but when it happens to me, I appreciate that my partner doesn’t make it worse by making me feel guilty about being “lazy,” because it’s not laziness at all.
I’d like to think I’m pretty good about this - my wife works so hard and I try to remind her of that and thank her for it as well, instead of just taking it for granted. Over the weekend she had a number of things she wanted to do but was having trouble getting started, so I told her to just pick one, do it, and to try not to feel bad about not doing the others. We both are trying to be kinder to ourselves in that way, as we both tend to push ourselves and feel guilty when we don’t get as much done as we’d like.
Another thing my partner does that helps me with executive dysfunction is to just…put stuff near me. I like to paint, so if I’m stuck in “couch mode” too long, my partner will get my painting supplies and put everything I need within my reach. Eliminating steps really makes it easier to break the trance, and sometimes I’ll just start painting without thinking about it.
Sometimes decision making is particularly difficult for me and it requires a lot of mental energy when I’m feeling especially bad. If this is an issue for her, I would suggest trying to make choices as simple as possible. For example, instead of saying “what do you want for dinner?” you could say “I’m feeling like Italian or Chinese food tonight, do either of those sound good to you?” I feel like my mental energy is limited, especially if I’m in a depression, and making decisions simpler helps preserve it.
These are some very good ideas, thank you! I have found it helps to have my own suggestions for things instead of always asking her what she wants, and I’ll have to try to do that even more. I find my mental energy gets limited for that kind of stuff too thought, sometimes. Aren’t we quite a pair? LOL
You both might like the “How to ADHD” channel on YouTube. She talks about ADHD from a woman’s perspective and some of her advice has been helpful for me. I sometimes show some of her videos to my partner because it helps him understand how I feel and think a bit better.
And of course, if you can, get her into counseling and/or medication as soon as possible.
Yep, she already watches that channel and I really need to start. As far as counseling/medication, she is looking into it. She is a little resistant to just jump to medication but she is coming around to the idea. Right now, the doctor who diagnosed her just said to give it a little time to process, but can provide her with some counseling/medication resources when she is ready. She already sees a therapist semi-regularly who has some experience with ADHD, so hopefully she can get some support there as well.
Soooo yeah. Long response but I hope some of it was useful. Your wife is really lucky to have a partner who is making an effort to help and understand. Having support is so important. I wish you both luck! ADHD is not fun but there are ways to make it much easier. Feel free to AMA if I can help you in any way!
Eh, I’m just a guy who can definitely do better, but thank you. And thank you for all of your comments. Do you have any other coping strategies you’ve come up with that you find helpful?
Looking forward to this one on Steam Deck since it'll support support Linux out of the box! (www.gamingonlinux.com)
Not sure if this counts, but I've been patiently waiting decades for this sequel (youtu.be)
Sovcit can't find the letter. (lemmy.world)
Northern lights an hour before peak. (lemmy.world)
I just watched this documentary on Ursula K. Le Guin. I never heard of her before this. Does the community have one or two books they recommend? (means.tv)
Let’s say that I may only read one or two, as I’m not a prolific reader. What do you think I should get?
Senior dev be like... (programming.dev)
It sure looks like The Talos Principle 2 is about to get an expansion (www.pcgamer.com)
So which is it? (sh.itjust.works)
I pruned this juniper procumbens Nana today. (lemmy.world)
It’s about 12 years old with some nice jin and movement.
Helldivers 2 went from one of the most beloved Steam games to one of the most hated pretty quickly (programming.dev)
TOEM is an amazing game, here's why (lemmy.world)
Summary...
deleted_by_author
The wild successes of Helldivers 2 and Baldur's Gate 3 send a clear message: Let devs cook (www.pcgamer.com)
They don't care about you (midwest.social)
Logitech being Logitech (sh.itjust.works)
[The Sign Spoiler] Well, no... (lemmy.world)
This episode tore me up.
can we install from the Microsoft store?
I’m not able to find this answer in old posts. Can we install games from the Microsoft store? I just claimed a free copy of Fallout 76 on PC from Prime Gaming and the MS store is telling me I need the XBOX app which sounds really weird to me.
Real Starfleet Heroes: T'Rul (lemmy.world)
Owner of ship in Baltimore bridge collapse asks cargo owners to help cover salvage costs (apnews.com)
Awkward Starfleet Academy Photos: B'elanna Torres (lemmy.world)
I know she was with the Maquis and never went to the Academy, but roll with me here. went to the Academy, but dropped out. Thank you Klanky for the correction....
One Year Anniversary Giveaway! - WINNERS CHOSEN! (lemmy.ml)
Hey everyone,...
Wife was just diagnosed
Hello all, I am a 39M whose wife (42F) was just diagnosed with ADHD. We’ve had a suspicion ever since our 6 year old was diagnosed and we started doing a deep dive into it and realizing a lot of the symptoms fit her. Even some of the memes from this community helped her to start looking into it herself. She is relieved to find...