Watching what you say and what you do isn’t masking. Watching what you are is masking. You don’t just filter out, you have to emote entire emotions that you’d express entirely differently because other people are disturbed by your normal expression of XYZ feeling.
It comes from years of being double punished when something bad happens because our remorse facial expression doesn’t match what they think remorse is supposed to look like so they don’t see any. And sometimes those.punishments are just for expressing something else in the non standard way.
I mean sure filtering topics is part of it, and it often involves filtering very pertinent topics. For example if something is really bothering you to the point of physical pain, but it isn’t supposed to be bothering you, that is the topic you then have to filter. And you have to physically replace your expressions of pain with whatever emotion you are supposed to be feeling. Of course you don’t replace your pain with the way youd express the emotion you’re supposed to be feeling. You replace the pain with how they wish you’d express the emotion they wish you’d be feeling.
Masking is gaslighting your entire body and brain out of every big and small action and reaction until whoever it is you really are is difficult to even retrieve.
Sisko wore three uniforms over the course of ds9, I think since he started the pilot wearing the tng style uni then they changed to the first contact uniforms. Picard also picked up a special jacket later on in TNG
Because bits of culture like games can lack cultural equivalence even in the most similar example. And because Nintendo is so bad at being the stewards of this culture that the best way to experience it is only possible illegally.
And you can argue that it’s not Nintendo’s job to be a steward of cultural artifacts, but they are indeed cultural artifacts whether Nintendo treats them that way or not and good stewards will find their way to it.
Then, in my opinion, the moral choice for how to consume the content is via its best steward. If that choice results in less money being put back into the development of similar artifacts maybe the developer needs less power (money) with which to shape the cultural landscape.
Is this guy actually invoking All in the Family in this discussion? Anyone reading this should find the pilot of All in the Family and watch it right now. That is so much more woke than anything that’s been on TV lately. Yea Archie Bunker used racial slurs, because the era equivalent of a fox news viewer spoke exactly like that at the time and the whole point was to show how backward and ignorant that was. Jerry Seinfeld is ignorant if he is bringing that show up as an example of an era where TV wasnt woke.
How is it responsible to waste your life taking steps to keep track of worthless little objects of that size? If you need a thin poker use one of the many every day objects that takes the form of or includes a thin poker.
Tossing in a drawer, definitely not. But keeping it in a place where you know where it is, will remember it, and it is definitely retrievable is different. Good luck finding that thing in a random drawer you are sure it’s in, much less a random drawer you are only kind of sure it’s in. Or if your life is such that each spot occupied in each drawer regardless of size and time of deposit is accounted for and retrievable, maybe that is just the standard I’m missing here.
What I’m saying is: I definitely have one or more of those in drawers or closets or boxes somewhere. Where, I do not know, and I could not retrieve one on command. But I could retrieve an implement to do its job. That the two things wind up being the same thing is an infinitesimal chance at best.
So you just like, all the time, remember that your poky thing, stylus, micro SD adapter, some key, and spare quarter are in that tiny drawer? You are a genuine marvel.
This applies to Western comics in the way where they tend to have used a campy version of the power in the 60s and have to grapple with what that means later. Like when Marvel gave the villain “molecule man” the power to control all molecules then were like “fine yes, also he’s a demi god who can essentially control all things and has the combined energy across all universes to splode reality”
Politicians and dog experts are criticizing South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem after she wrote in a new book about killing a rambunctious puppy. The story — and the vilification she received on social media — has some wondering whether she’s still a viable potential running mate for presumptive Republican presidential candidate...
Even non-psychopaths who aren’t dog people. When I encounter a dog, any dog, I couldn’t be more uncomfortable. But I don’t find this sort of thing any less shocking than people who have and love dogs.
I guess I have trouble telling which level of masking I’m seeing talked about because I interpreted the op as a conscious thing whoops.
I do both levels. Like, I have “I don’t want to explain this thing” which I’m trying to stop on that conscious level, but I also experience the other side where certain circumstances are just like, flashes in my brain that pull out the only response that feels safe, or sometimes the only one that seems non-destructive, but not in a way that I’m capable of processing in the moment, and I don’t know why I do it often. Unraveling that is a lot harder, though, and while it is happening, maybe the less advanced state of that unmasking effort is also why I can’t see it being talked about.
If there was nothing compelling you to turn it on, what exactly were you forgetting about? Surely you remembered how to do it, but were you presented a reason to do it by the situation you were in?
Good to see recognition of this. It sucks to have PTSD from things that are still considered to be perfectly normal and acceptable to most people you describe them to.
People use this tactic against autistic people all the time so it’s easy to see how it gets internalized. So many situations where it’s like “Oh, they know what this means and Im not going to humor them by explaining it, so I’m just going to pretend they know what everything means.” It’s very tempting to flip. As a teenager I definitely said “use your words like an adult” to adults, especially the types that would pull that reverse bullshit themselves.
Actually I’ve got diagnoses of autism, ADHD, and cptsd. Cptsd is the newest diagnosis that explains a lot. But my current therapist seems to be the only person I’ve met (including previous therapists) who affirms the ND sort of view of the world to the point where theyd likely agree with the post. That also includes friends with ADHD diagnoses who definitely accept my ND talk in regards to autism but seem to be hard rooted in the institutional view of their own (and my) adhd. So I sort of didn’t take it for granted that an ADHD community would see eye to eye on this stuff, but I am really glad that ADHD people who see it exist in some number because it seems like proof I might not be just a stubborn hold out jerk who refuses to participate.
I am a 100% work from home worker and have gotten more work done that way than ever before. Of course, all in person management leads to me shutting down and eventually losing my ability to do anything once I’m done with my reserve of will to push through the burnout.
I will admit there was a learning curve. I had to learn how to arrange my tasks so that it works for me. I don’t “sit down” for a 9-5 work day any more than I have a dedicated session to do any personal task. I wake up and I’m kind of on a cooldown management system. From the moment I get out of bed, and I don’t get out of bed until I’m rested and have a plan, I just pick what the best priority task would be to do, cool down from the picking, do any amount of work on that task that moves the needle, only ever pushing into potential burnout territory if I’ve fallen short of moving the needle at all. If it’s a rough day I’ll go back into cooldown after any needle movement at all. If it’s a great day I’ll get it and the next thing done. I cool down and task pick all day until I’m pretty much out of gas for the day.
Sometimes I’m netting a loss of ground on tasks but never go into free fall. Over the broader course of my life id say I’m netting a gain, but time will tell, and this lifestyle is really only possible as a remote working software developer. The only real exception to that is setting alarms for meetings, which are my only “schedule” requirement, and my alarm happens just in time to grab my laptop and get on.
Sorry to reply to two of your comments, but to specifically address “people like us need to be forced to do things”, but people trying to force me and belittling me when I just could not in the end, is what gave me cptsd. There definitely are other ways than force, and for me force just isn’t even a way. For me, seeking out that sort of force would be a form of self harm that would only serve to drive and reinforce my (now dissipating) self hatred. Maybe for others it is a form of self harm that also gets results, or maybe for others it just isn’t harmful, I can’t be sure, but we can’t be forcing it on every kid.
In most cases the more aggressive forms of force came from well meaning people that started out with the type you describe, with a very gradual escalation. The problem is that my burnout was compounding, not reducing, over time when I tried to comply which would lead to this increasing dread over time and eventually would lead to just a total failure. When I reach total failure, they just keep on pressing until it’s a more overt form of abuse. The more overt forms only came out initially a very small number of times. So I really was talking about the sort of force you’re describing, but on a sort of spectrum that leads to the sort you were inferring.
I am a firm believer that the phenomenon of “just a lazy fuck” doesn’t exist. I don’t know your brother, but I know the terms in which you refer to him were used on me pretty much just like that. And the reasons why those things were happening didn’t come to light until long after the era in which the terms were used. Even after the first couple diagnoses, my IEP (sheet teachers have that says what they have to accommodate for you) didn’t say anything that really related to any of the problems I was actually literally having. The cruel irony is that it said I needed longer on tests, which I never needed and was the only thing I was even successful at. Lazy is just a way to stereotype people who’s problems you’ve given up on.
To add to this point slightly, I also did literally say out loud many times that the school work is dumb and I refused, if that makes me sound more like your brother. That is because at even younger ages, I’d been punished and abused out of using the phrase “I can’t” for things they’ve seen me do at least one time before. Things escalated and got much more harsh when I tried to say it, so I was forced to switch to lies, elitist posturing, emotional manipulation, anything that would end the interaction without “I can’t.” Eventually I forgot that I can’t and started believing a subset of my lies.
Those little classroom assignments were definitely not all spelled out from the start and that’s what I didn’t have the capacity to participate in all the time. But say I started off at like 70% capacity. Getting hounded and called lazy and sometimes actually punished during that extra 30% causes my capacity to go down to say 60%. Then I’m being hounded and punished 40% of the time which has an even bigger effect and basically keeps my burnout at 100% and my ability to participate suppressed to 0. The lower my total capacity for participation is the more severe consequences start to be too. Punishments become more likely for sure. This starts to turn into a really wide scope of trauma.
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Preview ‘Star Trek: Discovery’ Episode 507 With New Images And Clip From “Erigah” (trekmovie.com)
Nintendo blitzes GitHub with over 8,000 emulator-related DMCA takedowns (www.engadget.com)
WTF - That’s a lot of repos… -.-
Sad (mander.xyz)
Seinfeld says that far left woke mobs have killed comedy. He also dated a 17-year-old. (lemmy.world)
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/0353a4b8-6046-46cd-8151-531d2bbb68bd.jpeg
I lost mine
Rulegum (discuss.tchncs.de)
Politicians and dog experts vilify South Dakota governor after she writes about killing her dog (apnews.com)
Politicians and dog experts are criticizing South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem after she wrote in a new book about killing a rambunctious puppy. The story — and the vilification she received on social media — has some wondering whether she’s still a viable potential running mate for presumptive Republican presidential candidate...
"I'd rather do anything else than go to your gathering" (lemmy.world)
I realised this today (lemmy.world)
Happens Too Frequently (infosec.pub)
Frontiers | Increased risk of acute stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder in children and adolescents with autism spectrum disorder: a nation-wide cohort study in Taiwan (www.frontiersin.org)
I expect this to be common knowledge for much of the audience here, but...
PSA: Remember that the internet isn't real life (lemmy.world)
I'm lucky enough to get away with being 'no subtext' most of the time. (fedia.io)
Selective Autism (i.redd.it)
Is this thought about school too radical?
So when I went through school you’d have two types of struggling kids:...