get_off_the_phone

@get_off_the_phone@sh.itjust.works

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get_off_the_phone,

Better Tate than Taint.

get_off_the_phone,

Crab rave anyone?

Alex Jones is profiting from his new game on Steam — while refusing to pay the Sandy Hook families he defamed (www.mediamatters.org)

Following his trial for defamation of the families of the children and school staff killed in the Sandy Hook massacre, conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is using Valve Corp.’s Steam, the world’s largest digital distribution platform for PC games, to sell an Infowars-themed video game. Jones claims to have earned hundreds of...

get_off_the_phone,

Do you like Alex Jones?

get_off_the_phone,

Hey is me, your cousin. I’m kinda in a jam and need your help. The contractor cut me a huge check after the fire that took everything but the bank won’t cash it without proof. I just need $101 for proof and I can pay back immediately.

This is for real.

Thanks.

Donkeyballs

get_off_the_phone,

Every time I have a fever, I vividly dream in the style of that dream sequence from Dumbo. Absolutely terrifying.

Teacher slapped with rape charges after having sex with teen while using other students as ‘lookouts,’ boy’s dad busted for allowing relationship: docs (nypost.com)

Yes, it’s the NY Post, but they had the best headline of multiple sources. Also, anybody who makes the remark, “where were they when I was in school” will be seen for the last time....

get_off_the_phone,

Is this boomer porn?

get_off_the_phone,

Sure everyone has heard of Stephen King and most know know of Dean Koontz. But 10 year old me wants to give a shout out to the best of em, R.L. Stine.

get_off_the_phone,

Sugar gliders are little rodents, while flying squirrels are generally edible in the home. Section divided multiply G.

get_off_the_phone,

Remember those curly telephone cords that stretched out to like 40ft when your mom walked around the house while on the phone and you had to dodge the cord like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment? And then the cord shrunk back to like 8ft when she hung the phone back on the cradle on the wall. And the next time your mom hung up the phone, the cord was like 10ft long with a bunch of kinks and twists. And the next time she hung the cord was like 12ft long and starting to bunch on the floor. And eventually there was like 30ft of telephone cord on the floor under the cradle that just gets kicked out of the way into the nearest corner and collects dust bunnies until the next time the phone rings and your mom answers and walks all around the house like she always does. (I could keep going but I don’t know where it will end.) Remember those curly telephone cords?

You need a curly ethernet cord like that for your watch. It could help to get around.

Also, what model watch do you have that has an ethernet port? My watch works fine but my gf is always complaining about a rock solid connection so I’m thinking about getting a new one.

get_off_the_phone,

Ok, maybe I’m ignorant, maybe I found the phrase “body fart” hilarious, maybe both. But can someone please tell me what is the difference between a regular fart and a body fart?

get_off_the_phone,

Yeah but I bet they ate their chili with spaghetti.

get_off_the_phone,

No. If you take a tilted photo of a fart under the bed covers that’s only double Dutch.

get_off_the_phone,

Still held down? What a monster.

get_off_the_phone,

The wiki page for them is written so poorly that it is hilariously fitting of them. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloodhound_Gang

get_off_the_phone,

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloodhound_Gang

get_off_the_phone,

From the wiki…

On November 3, 2019, Crazy Town’s van crashed into a moose during a tour stop in Ontario, Canada. Seth Binzer, Elias Tannous and Roland Banks were treated for bruises and cuts at the hospital.

Pretty Little Ditty is a gem tho. Peppers jam.

get_off_the_phone,

The sample size is way too small.

All American Waste Services Inc. surveyed 1,277 people from around the United States, asking them two questions: “How often do you poop?” and “In which state do you live?”

get_off_the_phone,

:gfdd

get_off_the_phone,

RIP scroll bar and scroll wheel. I’m swiping down to move the bar, which does the heavy lifting of moving the page up for me. This allows me to scroll more with less fatigue and thus I can consume more internet and therefore get more knowledge. Plus, swiping down works your bigger superior forearm muscles, which is the part of the arm that the ladies like, whereas swiping up works the inferior muscle on the other side that no one cares about. In conclusion, scroll down for bigger brain, better grip, and more birches.

get_off_the_phone,

Also known as Maugher Beach Lighthouse maps.app.goo.gl/5dJ7Ur6cSs2arRUD7

get_off_the_phone,

LMFAO “Don’t dribble in my harmonica.” Thanks for that.

And sorry about the state of your state. As far as porn goes, that video was pretty tame and hardly even porn. Sure there are some titties and mild fetishism but the ad that preceded the video was more hardcore. There wasn’t even a swear word (other than the voice-over ad in the beginning) in the video! I’d say this video is almost wholesome and definitely hilarious, it should be shared and enjoyed, not denied by prudes and puritanical authoritarians.

get_off_the_phone,

I bit and had to look up globglogabgalab. From what I can tell, globglogabgalab is a human monster from a Christian kids movie that consumes/eats ideas in books and sometimes consumes/eats people but the creator says it’s not an anti-book message but to me it seems to portray reading books something only monsters/bad-guys do. Idk, I’m not a kid but the inference was pretty obvious.

What I do know, globglogabgalab’s flow is sick.

get_off_the_phone,

I like how the male models on that site are just the same picture of two different dudes with the clothes pasted over them.

get_off_the_phone,

Punctuation please. But I’m with ya.

get_off_the_phone,

Peas in my mouth please

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