grrrr_shark

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Need to remember, when I inevitably delete that rant, that deletions are rate-limited on the Fedi XD

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Friday is gonna be... weird. First time in public around people who 1) know me, and 2) don't know the specifics of why I was in the hospital.

I am hoping there won't be too many comments about the weight. I figured I needed to be seen now before it's much more apparent - if they don't say much now, they never will.

(I'm not ashamed of the surgery. I am just not interested in the DISCUSSION. And I DEFINITELY don't want the "oh, wow, great job" that signals that if I suddenly went back to the same weight, folks would think worse of me.*)

*SPOILER ALERT: I now do not even like to eat, so I will be surprised if that happens, but still: I do not want my worth tied to my weight, bad or good.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I think I need a trip to Munich soon.

I miss my in-person friends so much.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

You wanna keep your day going, I highly recommend @airadam's podcasts: https://airadam.libsyn.com/

My colleague doesn't know it, but that motor behind my coding and review has kept me from setting fire to all his commits today XD

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Filling out that stupid form knocked my off of my stride, because I uncovered (looking for stupid information), looking through old mails, some nastygrams from my ex accusing me of using the pandemic to keep N from him, when in point of fact, she simply refused to go see him.

He can't understand that she only wanted to see him under circumstances SHE could control, and that there was nothing I could physically do to make her go.

You know, I know running from your old life isn't the answer, but being forced to dive back into it for eternity because the country you live in can't understand "this person now has no hold over me and I was never their property" sucks ass, and it makes me hate living here a lot more.

Why, why must the English-speaking world all be so super-fashy? Because I'm never gonna fit in HERE, and now I can't really go back anywhere :(

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I think, unfortunately, the lesson the F/OSS community will learn from XZ is the lesson the problematic folks WANT people to learn, which is not to be public about mental health and just "get over it". Thinking about some of the loudest, worst people I know in the community, and I don't think I'm wrong. They'll use it as a cudgel.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

By the way, Switzerland, get your shit together.

My marital status is "single".

Yes, I got divorced. Dude even remarried.

I DO NOT NEED TO GIVE YOU INFORMATION ABOUT DUDE EVERY TIME I DO SOMETHING OFFICIAL. WE WERE NEVER EVEN MARRIED TO EACH OTHER IN SWITZERLAND.

So fuck you for making me put "divorced" on every form and then information about my "former partner".

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

LB: Had to ask my daughter if she's gonna yeet me or not XD

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I'm not kidding, hitting that mail has knocked me for a loop. Undoubtedly because I'm feeling like a parenting failure at the moment, but also because it reinforces the fact that I can never, ever, just call him and say "N's having a tough time" and not have him use it against her or me.

Reinforces my feelings of being trapped and alone as a parent - AND having an adversary.

I hate having adversaries.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Ok, German speakers - help me out here.

Is this ad's punchline sexual? Legal (e.g. process orders)? What?

I don't get it.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I could fill my daily water requirements if I could just drink fucking liters of ginger tea all the time, but I suspect that'd be unhealthy.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Been hoping to tune in to one of @airadam's DJ streams for a while now, and finally managed tonight.

Not sorry I did! https://twitch.tv/airadam13

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Well crap. Turns out I brought the wrong charger, so I won't be finishing up work. Oh well.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I think people's understanding of American evangelicals would be much improved if they just understood that evangelicals have built themselves a DIFFERENT JESUS than the rest of Christianity aims to follow.

Take a warped Calvinism to make them the Chosen Ones and extend that grace to "we're Chosen, so we're right and entitled to anything by any means" and you are WAY closer to their truth.

Their Jesus didn't really empathise with prostitutes and lepers, he was just on a mission from God. Their Jesus was white and Christian, like them. Their Jesus probably flipped tables at the temple because they were damned foreigners.

Their Jesus is a shield for them to hide behind. And historical Jesus would have condemned him.

So please don't think you can convince these folks if you just show them via the Bible.

They are Bible literalists in that they take the archaic and often incorrectly translated words of the King James Bible and then twist them to mean what they want them to - it's harder for the common man to say what is "literal" with language which is not modern.

They take their passages selectively. The Bible is a tool and weapon for them, NOT a source of faith and wisdom.

They are not going to be convinced. Their whole system is set up to prevent that.

You will not convince them by arguing religion with them.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Bonus surgery side effect: I cannot take NSAIDs anymore. Like, ever.

And I have GODDAMNED WICKED CRAMPS right now.

I am 52. This shit was supposed to be DONE with soon.

Body, I AM NOT HAVING MORE BABIES. We've discussed this.

If anyone here claims paracetamol (U.S.: acetaminophen) helps their cramps, well, you and I are just COMPLETELY differently-wired humans, because... no.

Have to call my doctor about alternatives. I kinda wanna die right now, and that's even WITH the Mirena.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago) to random

Far be it from me to gatekeep, but you aren't a "senior consultant in cybersecurity" if you just finished college 3 years ago and are too young to have had any experience before that.

Like... I ignore most folks on Linkedin, but the clout-horny networking ones are the worst.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Yeah, those nerves in my digestive tract are BACK IN ACTION, and not for the better.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago) to random

EDIT: It is now too late. Thank you for your service.

WAS:
Someone stop me from buying a Steam Deck.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago (edited 2 months ago) to random

I wish Lego would make all of their cool trains and castles and shit non-HP again.

I mean, ok, they still have cool trains. And I hate that my kid is not 2 and I don't have an excuse to build them anymore XD

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Someone please tell me when that tiny voice in my head that still wants me to finish my PhD will get the message and shut the fuck up.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I just got some spam mail from Babbel that said:

Your story matters! Did you learn a new language for love, to land your dream job, or connect with family?

And then encourages you to share your story.

I do not think they are interested in the story I would send them, which would be entitled, "I learned German for love, and now I'm fucking stuck here."

XD

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

@ParanoidGeek I shit you not, my daughter is asking - no, begging - for my 565 notes.

These, of course, have been destroyed in the mists of time and therapy, but fortunately, Jens has frozen his lecture notes in time on the Internet.

What have I done???

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

So I went out and got some new clothes that fit to go out to this concert tonight. Gonna repierce my closed earlobe and then run home to try to get ready.

It may be that I cut it too close and end up not going after all, but the point is that I start trying to reenter my life again, not that I always succeed.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

I'm waiting for the wash to finish so I can catch a couple of hours to sleep, and just misread a toot as being about "The Eurovision Snog Contest".

I would totally be up for that one.

grrrr_shark, 2 months ago to random

Both the upside and the downside of this surgery is that is it VERY easy to forget to eat if you are not moving around at the moment. (e.g. at work)