@lexx3000@masto.ai
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lexx3000

@lexx3000@masto.ai

sad clown (no bookings) F84.5 pronouns: it/it’s

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Susan60, to actuallyautistic
@Susan60@aus.social avatar

I’ve never done this before, laid out all of my Polish ceramics, grouped according to their various patterns. I wanted to see what I have, so I know which lives to buy next. My partner, haphazard about most things, would find this odd, but it’s given me enormous pleasure.

My partner & I started with a few mugs years ago, & have gradually added to the collection over the years. It is hard wearing and we use it every day. A dear friend gifted me with the baking & serving dishes for my 60th. (Embarrassingly extravagant.)

I think that allowing myself to do this is part of my unmasking, to myself.
@actuallyautistic

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic they are so beautiful! What a great way to be happy having this beauty

lifewithtrees, to mentalhealth
@lifewithtrees@mstdn.social avatar

Question for the @actuallyadhd and potentially @actuallyautistic

I am someone who gets migraines and have since I was 8. The reason was never uncovered, but I know migraines are more common among neuroduvergent folks like myself.

My question for you is this:

When you have pain, what do you do to help manage it so your emotional regulation goes out the window?

In short, I can be mean when I am in the midst of migraine.

I want to do better.

Any advice?

#mentalhealth #AuDHD #migraine

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@lifewithtrees @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic painkillers. Lots. Such a bliss to be without pain. But generally I just am doing way better when just don't have to communicate with humans. Nobody pesters me -- I'm not mean to them.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@sal @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic @lifewithtrees oh I actually also got back to meat and migraines and auroras became less frequent. Am still anemic after sox years of being vegetarian.

lexx3000, to actuallyautistic German
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@actuallyautistic Can someone explain the logic of 'autism speaks' and 'autism parents' going together with the general at least internet assumption of being autistic automatically means your parent is autistic.

lexx3000,
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@tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic ok, makes sense

lexx3000,
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@tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic i am a bit skeptical on the notion of direct inheritance of neurodivergency. My not diagnosed, but a shutin non communicative grandma only eating fish and obsessing over films had four survived the infancy siblings and had three children, those three bred eight children in sum. This is some rapid progression, that in logic of autism being genetic directly and if requiring only one parent to pass on makes just way too many people.

lexx3000,
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@tine_schreibt @actuallyautistic nb i also know quite a few diagnosed as children autistics, who went through the whole hell of a 'retard' label in youth and are having if not rage, but slight annoyance of the self disgnosed autistics. It's kind of the same in lgbtqia community, when the old gays do not accept enbies etc. the suffer is not the ticket to realness, but i can understand the notion

Uair, to actuallyautistic
@Uair@autistics.life avatar

@actuallyautistic

I have the fecal touch. Everything i touch turns to shit.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@Uair @actuallyautistic i am eating right now and had a reflux but still will retoot

Averixus, to actuallyautistic
@Averixus@toot.wales avatar

I've never related to the analogy of having no filter. It only works if communication is like a torrent of innermost thoughts that are constantly being stopped lest they spurt out.

I don't have to work to not communicate, I have to work to communicate. Everything I ever say is painstakingly assembled and forced out, the idea of being able to do that so easily that I could actually say something by accident is completely alien.

Is it just me?

#actuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@Averixus @actuallyautistic my general experience is that I don't think in ohrases unless I am about to say or write them. So sometimes talking outloud or rather writing down just helps processing. Another case listening, as majority of things people say I find dreadfully boring so having troubles with words pricessing and audio input it requires a lot of energy to listen.

haui, to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic having a character development day… again. Thinking about life. I chose to reflect on the rumor of autistic people having an average life expectancy of 36 yrs I heard. Turns out, this is most likely false. Yet this study suggests its still quite a bit of life expectancy lost due to our differences: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666776223001953

Feel free to discuss this with me. I‘m happy to learn.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@haui @actuallyautistic well, I am 35 and am quite ready to fucking end myself, so seems plausible to me

Sci_Fi_FanGirl, to actuallyautistic German
@Sci_Fi_FanGirl@hessen.social avatar

@actuallyautistic

So, finally I got my official diagnosis.

Having someone neutral confirm my suspicion feels validating somehow. Helps to fight the imposter syndrome. It is a relief.

But it's also overwhelming and confusing. I want to tell everybody and live openly autistic, yet I also fear negative consequences. Then again, I'm tired of masking.

Complicated feelings that I don't fully understand.

lexx3000,
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@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic welcome to the cool kids club. i'm still feeling like i'm faking tho.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic we just established in my rant to the same group with another person, that we're soup. of all kinds of stuff in it. so yours have carrots in it, mine too, could still be completely different soup.

lexx3000,
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@Sci_Fi_FanGirl @actuallyautistic from @EVDHmn

lexx3000, to actuallyautistic German
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@actuallyautistic i keep seeing here ocd or "extremely organised" as a definitely autistic trait, while messy being assigned to adhd and i'm (adult diagnosed) living with a diagnosed in a childhood person and we're messy as hell, especially in combination while neither of us suspect adhd and it's just very annoying to have it as a given here, does anyone share this even?

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@Selena @sahat @actuallyautistic yeah i referred to cleaning as ocd trait. a friend of mine has ocd about light switches and glass clicking, ritualistic thing.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@Dr_Obvious @alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic actually nothing gets quite dirty and dusty, especially if you live in a city i'm just watching how window frames get grey the next day after i washed them

lexx3000,
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@alexisbushnell @benetnasch @actuallyautistic yeah, i rather meant intensity of cleaning as an anxiety relief.

lexx3000,
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@Selena @actuallyautistic if you're really commited to record details in journals there's no attention to the mess. to me hyperfixation feels more dominant than organising and cleaning, unless cleaning is your special interest

lexx3000,
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@Dr_Obvious @alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic ok, true. very true.

lexx3000,
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@benetnasch @alexisbushnell @actuallyautistic eesh sounds hardcore

lexx3000,
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@Dr_Obvious @benetnasch @actuallyautistic i'm guessing i really used the wrong wording here as a quote.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@PatternChaser @actuallyautistic remembering where i put a thing i deem as my superpower, it's quite fascinating how brain recalls an action of putting an sd card in a small pocket in jeans with the logic "it fits perfectly". things get complicated when there's some roommates who move stuff.

lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@EVDHmn @spika @actuallyautistic i like soup

lexx3000, to actualyautistic German
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

ok, so @actualyautistic i keep seeing here ocd or "extremely organised" as a definitely autistic trait, while messy being assigned to adhd and i'm (adult diagnosed) living with a diagnosed in a childhood person and we're messy as hell, especially in combination while neither of us suspect adhd and it's just very annoying to have it as a given here, does anyone share this even?

Private
lexx3000,
@lexx3000@masto.ai avatar

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic comrades is a funny word with a bad connotation

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