madam__mayhem

madam__mayhem, 25 days ago to random

I’m in the naughty corner on Instagram again so let’s do a Q&A here to keep me sane while I recover from Covid and can’t go to the gym… https://ngl.link/_madam_mayhem_1

madam__mayhem, 3 months ago to random

Me on dating apps: I want to date people who prioritise giving energy to dating.

Cishet men: I don’t have time to date but I’ll swipe right on you anyway, waste your time and breadcrumb the bare minimum of attention in order to try and get you to have sex with me.

madam__mayhem, 7 months ago to random

‪I SPOKE TO HIM…I have a name. And a bigger crush now. ‬

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

Always keep them guessing…

madam__mayhem, 2 months ago to random

I’m putting a rare request out to you lovely people…

If you are a sex worker or know a sex worker in the UK, how do you get paid without revealing your real name or resorting to cash?

Please share if you can!

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Since Instagram hates my body so much, I’ll just post this here…

Video of me from neck to mid thigh, wearing an overt, corset style bra and high cut black and nude mesh thong. Gold nipple pasties cover my nipples and I rotate slowly, touching myself seductively as I do. Apparently too seductively for Instagram…

madam__mayhem, 7 months ago to random

Not me Googling ‘How to hit on a guy at the gym’.

madam__mayhem, 3 months ago to random

Today I was called Quadzilla.

New honorific level unlocked.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Sometimes self care looks like dancing naked to Limp Bizkit in the bathroom.

madam__mayhem, 7 months ago to random

My main gym crush just smiled at me…I’m going to be living off this dopamine hit for a week.

madam__mayhem, 1 day ago to random

I’m headed to a friend’s small wedding of 25 in rural France next month…which dress do I wear?

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Is Mars in retrograde or some shit this week? I’ve literally had six guys come back from the dead wanting another chance after ghosting me.

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

God I love watching gay men check each other out with zero subtlety.

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago to random

In my slut era…as I masturbate for the third time today.

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago to random

https://madam-mayhem.com/2023/12/11/mayhems-2023-wrapped/

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Last night an incredibly sexy Italian man gently stroked the side of my face and said ‘Look at me’ as I sucked his cock.

I’m pretty sure my soul left my body.

madam__mayhem, 6 months ago to random

I’ve decided I’m going to smile and flirt with all of my gym crushes…and see which ones are brave enough to ask me out…

madam__mayhem, 4 months ago to random

Cishet men think other cishet men are their biggest competition in dating me. Sunshine, it’s my high standards you should be worried about…none of you make the grade.

madam__mayhem, 3 months ago to random

I can’t remember if I told my therapist I have an OnlyFans. Might be too late to tell her, three years in…

madam__mayhem, 3 months ago to random

Not me giving a death stare to the dude who took a 10kg plate from my bench press station, clearing thinking I wouldn’t use it (I am).

madam__mayhem, 5 months ago to random

Is there any greater ick than a man referring to women as ‘females’?

madam__mayhem, 2 months ago to random

I have an RWI. Repetitive Wanking Injury.

madam__mayhem, 1 month ago to random

I just took an obscenely sexy photo of myself…who wants to see?

madam__mayhem, 1 month ago to random

It’s just about the time of year where the weather is good enough to fuck on my balcony.*

*I’m sure it will remain unchristened for the fifth year running.

madam__mayhem, 1 month ago to random

If you insist on using group shots on your dating profile, you better be damn sure you’re hotter than all your mates.