pathfinder

pathfinder, 16 minutes ago

@Adventurer @ashleyspencer
Go to bed at 4am ish, get up at 11.59am, just to say that I've seen the morning 😆 Also, nap everyday since burnout.

pathfinder, 12 hours ago

@ashleyspencer
Looks perfect to me ❤️

pathfinder, 2 days ago

@ashleyspencer
I was wondering how your in house cat entertainment unit was going on.

pathfinder, 2 days ago

@darrellpf @actuallyautistic
I think the reason I struggled to recognise that I scripted, beyond the obvious prep for important meetings, was because over the years I'd built up such a flexible pallet of options. They give me a sense of versatility that concealed the fact that they were all created scripts at one point.

pathfinder, 2 days ago

@darrellpf @actuallyautistic
In terms of social interactions very possibly. We tend to have to process quite a bit in terms of working out implied as well as explicit meanings and the potential responses, whether pre-scripted or not, that are required.
In other areas we tend to be bottom up thinkers. Building understanding from the elements, rather than assuming implied understanding from the whole. This means we take longer, but generally also means that we will tend to have a much deeper and complete understanding once we get there.

pathfinder, 2 days ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
Most people will never understand our need to be alone, let alone the sheer joy and satisfaction it brings.
God know's why. But, unfortunately, it's on a par with their inability to understand anything that is too different from what they expect.

pathfinder, 2 days ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
Alone we are at our most relaxed, open and therefore vulnerable. Sudden intrusions are bound to impact.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@Susan60 @actuallyautistic
It's on par with "school days are the happiest days of your life." People always kept saying that when I was in school and I never understood it. Why would you want to think that the rest of your life was going to be inevitably less? And why would you want to go back now, to when you were less?

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@Aerliss
I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to mine. I didn't see the point of it either and went mostly to please my parents, who I strongly suspect didn't think I could do it and were therefore as proud as punch.
It may be that this is connected to monotropic thought patterns. To our minds we have finished when we passed, therefore it's time to move on and our brains have already switched away from it.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@ashleyspencer
Glad you're making progress on this. Also, that the new doses seem to be helping. 😀

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
This, I fear, may be a slightly longer response than you were looking for, sorry if this is the case.
Realising that you are autistic, (a term I much prefer to self-diagnosis, because it seems more accurate to the process) takes time. It is not so much recognising yourself in this, but coming to accept it. Identifying with autistic people and seeing so much of yourself in them and feeling benefitted by so many of the ways we have learnt to make our lives better, isn't always immediately enough. As many of us prefer logic and reason and are quite fearful of presuming things before we can be certain of them. Also the older you are, the longer this process can take. There is so much more to unpack and to see whether it fits into this new shape. Knowing this, is why those on this path are accepted into autistic spaces (generally anyway), even if ultimately you end up not seeing yourself in them.
In the end, for many, the final acceptance does require an official diagnosis. For others the official diagnosis is simply the only way to access the help and support they need in their life. Most of us here believe that this is your choice. As is, whether you eventually accept your autistic self, as I have, and are content to remain self-diagnosed.
What must be remembered, is that an official diagnosis isn't about whether you are autistic, or not. It is about how effected you are by being autistic. It is why, for those of us who are older, it can be difficult to get. We can appear too "normal", generally because of our years of masking, and well adapted to seem to be negatively effected enough. Because of, shall we say outdated understandings, there are also problems for female presenting, people of colour and transgendered people, who can struggle to get past the gatekeeping that even allows them to be assessed, let alone fairly. Also, in many countries, the assessment can be prohibitively expensive, or even not really available at all.
There are, in fact, many problems with the diagnostic process, which alone should make people far more accepting of self-diagnosis. Not to mention the potential legal, medical and societal problems that can come from it. There is also the fact that ultimately we know ourselves better than any random assessor and that for those of us who are much older there really is a whole, at my time of life, why? thing going on.
That there are those who devalue self-diagnosis speaks, I can't help thinking, far more about their privilege, either in having been able to get an assessment at all, or the value they feel it bestows on them. Than it does about whether self-realising you are autistic is itself valuable.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @actuallyautistic
I suppose the rub of it is, take the time you need and if you end up feeling an official diagnosis is required to be really sure, then that's your choice. In the meantime welcome here and make yourself at home, there may even be cake. (I add, in perpetual hope 😀)

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@darrellpf @chevalier26 @clarkiestar @actuallyautistic
Many of us old folk have a far from good understanding of what autism is. This seems a really good way of connected without having to come up against that, so glad for you 😀

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Birds of a feather and all that, so this is not really off-topic, more additional proof.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
I took an online autism test sheerly on the basis of "why not, I'm bored" and that start my years long process. And believe me when I say that you are not alone in having to overcome some, shall I say, medieval views about what autism is.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Pretty much. No one who isn't gay wonders if they gay. No one who isn't transgender wonders if they are. And pretty much, if you're spending hours exploring whether you are autistic, it means something.
I doubt if there were many of us who didn't always know we were different somehow, all our lives. Still a bit of a shock, though, when the search for why, ends up here. It took me awhile to get my head round it. 😀

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
In many respects what was the final clincher for me, was all the things that weren't often talked about as being autistic, at least by non-autistics. The sensory issues, insomnia, fussy eating, safe foods and viewing habits for example. As opposed to things like eye contact and social issues, which I had long ago learnt to deal with and adapt to. Of course, the very fact that I'd had to adapt and learn how to cope with them at all, wasn't proof. 😅

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Sometimes, for those of us with a fairly limited understanding of what autism is to start with anyway, finally beginning to see it takes a somewhat indirect route. It's as often as not seeing it in the edges, before we can see the core.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@janetlogan @chevalier26 @darrellpf @actuallyautistic
There is a very good reason why I keep my finger nails cut really short. Scabs, itches, are irresistible.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
My family, who basically blanked my declaration of being autistic, were also the same family who realised very, very early on, that my difference meant that I was never going to marry or have children. I'm not entirely sure what their thinking was to accept one but not the other, but there you go. (Also seeing as they are all dead now, slightly mute.) Families can be strange that way.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @Tooden @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Worth an explore.
https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/me-and-monotropism-unified-theory-autism

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
I'm confident with aromantic, still wondering about asexual.

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@chevalier26 @Tooden @darrellpf @janetlogan @actuallyautistic
Also, worth an explore. Although, you have to see past the medicalised language and realise the target audience of this.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnhum.2010.00224/full

pathfinder, 3 days ago

@felyashono @darrellpf @actuallyautistic
In terms of fictional characters and tv or film representation, I feel that it is fair. But, for real people, I agree totally. The unfortunate truth is, that it isn't always safe for people to be "outed" as either as gay or neurodivergent. Plus, both require a degree of self-awareness that they may not be ready for.

pathfinder, 4 days ago

@alexisbushnell @makershour
🎉🎉😊