I’m not sure where else to vent. I don’t want to seem like I’m playing the victim as everyone else in this community is having the same executive functioning issues I’m having and I don’t mean to distract from those things but having to navigate these issues while being constantly reminded of my race is exhausting....
try 25 virtual desktops running 2 browsers, one of which with multiple profiles for various broad topics … my “main” session alone has 75-80 windows at present 😃
edit: installed an extension to find out: in main session, 378 tabs across 84 windows. seems like a low number of tabs per window perhaps, but I organize topics into a window, then related topic-windows into a dedicated browser profile session if they’re long-lived, and windows/sessions are grouped into virtual desktop by top-level topic more or less … so my fediverse/threadiverse session has 35 tabs in 7 windows in only 1 virtual desktop.
edit 2: I theme each browser profile differently to (mostly) tell them apart by eye
alone and in silence being the key part of this, after having input shoved thru my brain by other 🦍s for the last seven years whether I had any desire for it or not
when self-hating people who’ve learned a little about genetics and evolution pipe up with “why are we even still in the gene pool” sadposts … this is why. overall, this style of thinking is a net positive to the proliferation of Homo sapiens, and every now and then even a net positive to the people who embody it.
They feel the same about me when I decline the opportunity to get shitfaced drunk and banter over 17 games of “Mexican train dominoes” for the 59574th time.
In my case, I decided to cut Big Tech out of my life which led to dropping Google Calendar in favor of an open source solution, which works exactly the same except for GCal’s one teensy little proprietary extension: reminders.
Living without that snoozable reminder stack for the past 4 years has been like walking around with a hole in my side.
Bullet journaling is fscking amazing for this, unfortunately after many years of hard experience, I’ve come to understand that I’m so receptive to environmental stimuli that I just haven’t been able to maintain such a system in a chaotic environment … I need a certain level of baseline peace / recharge in order to be able to stay on top of systems like these. But they do work so well when I can manage it
Not the guy you’re responding to but I made a comment upthread that I found success by developing interlocking habits, or in some cases it’s fair to say rituals rather than habits … little sub-habits that guide you to the main one you want to develop, or briefly reward you when you’ve completed it. Items or processes in your environment which cue you and remind you that the habits you want to do even exist.
For example, 2 sub-components of what finally got me to remember to meditate (or skip, but intentionally 😒) were writing a brief journal entry of my observations after each sit with a piece of chocolate, and having a couple little succulents with a light on a timer by my altar, so that every time I’m in the room during the day the altar area, with a couple plants I need to keep an eye on for their health, is lit up to draw me in if I’m ready.
Doing things this way is very intentional and thus exhausting, and it requires a lot of trial and error to figure out the little sub-habits that all work together and that actually work for you (since some inevitably won’t), and hell as somebody explaining it I’ve only had a couple big successes with it because I often don’t have the energy/brainpower to figure all this out … but man when I can pull it off, it works sooo well.
I’m a huge believer in “prosthetic environments” which I believe is a concept Dr. Russell Barkley came up with, he annoys me a little but as an ADHD research he’s like 85% dead on target about this stuff, and thinks deeply about it.
I’m the same way. It’s ironic given that I posted this meme, but when I can use them lists really help.
In my case, if I travel somewhere for 3 days, when I get back, many of the routines I had at my original location will have evaporated no matter how long I had them, so I made a list, and have been trying to build a routine-recovering routine. It’s slow going for other reasons but I’ve been very slowly working on it for 5 years now and it has helped at times when I’ve needed it (and remembered it exists).
Here’s my additional tip to OP’s tip: if you are someone who holds habits like a sieve holds water, you have to be even more intentional about forming habits, and form multiple interlocking habits that cue you. I’m at a very stressful time in life right now so it’s hard for me to remember details but like, I wanted to develop a daily meditation habit. But what I had to do in order for it to actually stick, was develop a ritual out of interlocking habits: getting my tea, lighting some incense, doing the actual meditation, once finished immediately having a rewarding sip of tea, dusting off my cushion, writing a brief journal entry afterwards (this is the one that tipped it over the edge for me for some reason) with a piece of dark chocolate. I also put little succulents by my altar with a lamp on a timer that comes on in the morning, so just the lit-up presence of plants which I need to tend every few days draws me toward the altar if I’ve forgotten or postponed my sit.
You have to be like this with everything that doesn’t come naturally. Yes, it’s extremely intentional, which is exhausting. Yes it’s a lot of hit or miss, trial and error, because of all the little sub-habits I just described above, there will be a number you try which end up not working for you. So you have to be persistent at messing around with your habit-sculpture long enough to find a permutation which works for you, and being persistent at things like this can be very difficult for people like us. In that case, I recommend sheer desperation, it helps with the persistence.
It’s exhausting because I spend a good portion of the day waiting for my mind to start working, and it’s pretty inefficient. I’m trying to figure out what this is all about, like is it temporary due to burnout, Strattera, or something else.
I suspect this probably varies across the entire population to some degree, but for me it feels like my senses and my mind aren’t fully “bound together” properly when I wake up, and it takes a while of being conscious, QUIETLY, for them to come together and be functioning right. This process takes far longer if I’m in a...
I’ve been lurking/participating in forums for people on the spectrum long enough that I see “issues with being perceived” type posts pop up every so often. This is relieving to me because I have issues like that, and they are difficult for anyone who doesn’t experience them to understand. So it’s nice not to feel alone...
Being Black and autistic is awful
I’m not sure where else to vent. I don’t want to seem like I’m playing the victim as everyone else in this community is having the same executive functioning issues I’m having and I don’t mean to distract from those things but having to navigate these issues while being constantly reminded of my race is exhausting....
adhd gothic (discuss.tchncs.de)
a tumblr classic!
The Chair™ (i.postimg.cc)
I See ya on the other side! (silkky.pub)
Oh boy! (media.hachyderm.io)
How does one even live like this? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
v thoughtful suggestion, I had not considered (discuss.tchncs.de)
Does anyone else take like 2-3 hours to wake up every single morning?
It’s exhausting because I spend a good portion of the day waiting for my mind to start working, and it’s pretty inefficient. I’m trying to figure out what this is all about, like is it temporary due to burnout, Strattera, or something else.
emergent properties of the syndrome
who else has the forbidding and incomputable Pile of Mail 💀...
who else's brain takes a long time to "warm up" or stabilize after waking?
I suspect this probably varies across the entire population to some degree, but for me it feels like my senses and my mind aren’t fully “bound together” properly when I wake up, and it takes a while of being conscious, QUIETLY, for them to come together and be functioning right. This process takes far longer if I’m in a...
consensus/discussion driven to a fault?
cross-posted from: discuss.tchncs.de/post/5236945...
shout out to anybody facing homelessness due to neurodivergence
cross-posted from: discuss.tchncs.de/post/5546920...
“No Way Out Except From External Intervention”: First-Hand Accounts of Autistic Inertia (www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
cross-posted from: discuss.tchncs.de/post/6713283...
the experience of being perceived
I’ve been lurking/participating in forums for people on the spectrum long enough that I see “issues with being perceived” type posts pop up every so often. This is relieving to me because I have issues like that, and they are difficult for anyone who doesn’t experience them to understand. So it’s nice not to feel alone...