sashag

sashag, 6 days ago to random

It seems, proportions look more natural, when I'm further away from the mirror and zoom in.

sashag, 6 days ago to random

The girl with way more books than time to read them just got a new book :akko_shrug:

sashag, 7 days ago to random

News from "Deutsche Glasfaser" (the fiber cable company)!

This morning the same guy rang me out of bed at 8:50am. We had the exact same unfriendly conversation as yesterday. He then showed me a picture of the wall, where the fiber cable planned to go through. A colleague of him took this picture some weeks ago.

Then he started a sampled woman's voice on his phone saying "Should. We. Start. To. Work. Now."

So I'm standing there in front of the dude. In my pj's. Wild out of bed hair. And I say: "No. Definitely not this week. I have video calls all week long."

He turns around and goes away. Without saying a word.

I'm very sorry, but maybe the company should have at least ONE person on each drilling team, who speaks enough German to talk to a house owner about the work. Or call me upfront to make an appointment for the drilling.

I know, I know, wild ideas. 😬

sashag, 7 days ago to random

Also the Bavarian CSU (christian conservative party) loudly complains about the fact, that the organizers of the Munich CSD (pride) parade declined the application of the "LGBTQIA organization of the CSU" to have their own float in the parade. The application also was declined last year. Now they claim, that it is undemocratic to prevent someone participating, who "politically differs in some points".

The decision of the organizers is well phrased and full of facts, by the way.

The CSU, the government party in Bavaria, has officially decreed that the use of degendered language in administration, schools and universities is forbidden. They try to have a massive influence in preventing or revoking the new self ID law. They try to prevent the federal self ID law to go into effect in Bavaria. They do not share the values of acceptance and equal rights. They have a polemic stance towards gender identity and 'wikeness'.

In one sentence: they are conservative right-wing shit 🤷‍♀️

sashag, 8 days ago to random

It's interesting, how some (mostly pretty late transitioning) trans women hold on to a masculine pre-transition self. There is nothing wrong with that, it just made me think of my own journey of self-perception. I started from a similar point. Different maybe only in that I absolutely knew I never had a "male identity". So this schism between "the man I was" and "the woman I am now" never existed in this clear cut way.

This lead to a slowly fading concept of separation. Nowadays I think and talk about myself in my pre-transition time mostly in female form.

And every "not Sasha" idea has this stale scent of mothballs. Like a costume that has been hanging in a closet in the attic for too long.

As a chemist weirdo I actually like the smell of naphthalene (the stuff in mothballs), but not each and every day around me.

sashag, 9 days ago to random

I'd like to have 24 to 26°C please. Thank you!

sashag, 9 days ago to random

Some graffiti from the women's toilet at the local legendary student coffee shop, a thread.
"Ursula still loves raclette"
[1/5]

sashag, 10 days ago to random

"Don't look back, that's not where you're going" is a great rational advice.

But the grief over lost time is an emotional thing for late transitioners. Logic does not cure emotions.

But personally I don't see all these years as lost time as much as I don't feel like being "born in the wrong body".

I got an opportunity only few people get: to experience the "other gender" from the inside. Not because I was a man, I've never been one and never felt like it. But because I was an explorer, disguised as a man, so I was able to see how men communicate with and act towards other (alleged) men.

sashag, 10 days ago to random

"Dressing according to the weather" is a concept that never made sense to me.

I very easily start to freeze or sweat, so I would have to carry around loads of layers of clothes.

Instead I dress according to my mood and the mood I want to get in (ref. enclothed cognition) and deal with whatever level of uncomfortableness I might encounter.

sashag, 10 days ago to random

If I want to talk to a brilliant mathematician, it probably would be a woman. (Exceptions apply)

sashag, 13 days ago to random

I've stopped gender therapy sessions a year ago I think.

There wasn't much to work on. But I somehow miss the conversations. It was like I paid someone to listen to me Infodumping 🫠

sashag, 14 days ago to random

Grill lighter cubes! Rookies! Amateurs!

Let me through ! I'm a chemist. And I have a liter of rectified spirits! And if needed a dewar full of liquid oxygen.

But don't do this without being trained¹!

¹) by setting labs on fire for years

sashag, 15 days ago to random

Today's outfit is the black tennis dress again. Cindy wanted to join me.

sashag, 16 days ago to random

I have to confess something.

I don't know how to phrase it, so I will just tell.

I … I … don't know how to use the three seashells 🫠

sashag, 16 days ago to random

And let me add: happy parent's day to all the nonbinary parents.

sashag, 17 days ago to random

Jerks being jerks in my mentions.

Don't feed the trolls, Sasha 🫤

sashag, 17 days ago to random

Hearing what wounds neglect or conditional love has ripped into people's souls breaks my heart.

Even with all the insecurities, self-doubt and imposter syndrome (not to mention RSD!) I only slowly start to realize what a gift this completely unconditional love was, that my parents gave me 😔

My mother was a complex and complicated person, but so am I. But I never felt not loved because of something I was, was not or didn't achieve.

I was the only child. The prince (or better princess, sorry mom and dad) they waited and longed for for so long. But I wasn't spoiled (well, maybe a wee bit).

sashag, 17 days ago to random

Oh, it's getting warm. That means it's "bermuda shorts at half-mast look at my lovely butt crack" guys season again 😬

And then they're accompanied by a young woman who could have jumped out of a teen vogue. 🤔

sashag, 18 days ago to random

Found on a wall at the river bank in Liège, Belgium: "A pair of mums is better than a shitty dad."

This is the most #transbian thing I've ever seen on a mural ✌️

sashag, 18 days ago to random

On every door of the Liège train station 🌈

sashag, 18 days ago to random

Liège has some very interesting architecture. Like La Maison Gentry, built in 1920 with plans from architect Clément Pirnay.

sashag, 21 days ago to random

From a trans person who's egg cracked with 55 and is now two years (that's not long!) in transition, let me tell you this:

If you are doubting, if it's worth it, yes!
If you're doubting if it is too late, no it isn't!
If you're doubting if it is possible, yes!
If you think you will be an ugly trans man/woman/nonbinary person, no! You have no idea how much you will be shining!

Your life will change quite a lot. Some people will leave your life, but the important ones will stay. And some of the most important ones will only then enter your life. That's what happened to me.

You will be SURPRISED, who will turn out to be with you, that you would have imagined being the first one to go.

Give them a chance to get to know the real you. Give US account chance to get to know you. 🫂💕

sashag, 21 days ago to random

Hildegard Knef was a famous German actress and singer, mostly in the 1970ties and 80ties. I don't like all her songs, but this one, called "How many people were happy that you lived" hits hard:
https://youtu.be/cjVQojWy0f8

sashag, 22 days ago to random

The following is not a complaint, but more of an observation.

I often have the feeling that people deliberately keep me at a distance. Not in bad intent, just because they are annoyed of me (my hypothesis). Especially people I personally find interesting (to avoid the term 'attractive', because it would make things even more embarrassing).

I guess it's an unfortunate combination of rejection sensitivity dysphoria and perception problems (which often is a result of RSD).

Nevertheless it hurts and feels silly at the same time. I don't actually know where I wanted to go with this rambling 😬

sashag, 24 days ago to random

Be kind with yourself. This can be something as small as buying a bouquet of flowers 💐

Actually I love to buy flowers for myself.