Some days I think about how circumstances and geography, usually things we don’t have a say in, are so important to our life outcomes, even if objectively you may think you’re the same person.
The person I am here in San Francisco: married, cis queer lady with strong feelings about / against transphobia, homophobia, evangelical Christianity, is absolutely default, and acceptable.
That same version of me back ‘home’ is a militant.
Who would you have been if you had lived in Singapore all your life? Would you have those opinions? Would you keep them to yourself? Would you have had access to the experiences that have to develop those opinions?
Not your job to answer me :-). Although of course I am interested!
I just think they are good questions for us all to ask ourselves
And, belatedly, that was your point :-) I am embarrassed by my brain fog today
I'm sure that so many of us on the left in the US west coast think that we would have these opinions anywhere, and...
@NilaJones I developed those opinions in spite of my geography and society. It wasn’t easy to express or keep them, I had to go to special bookstores early on, I had to always find my people. But I think that made me really interrogate my opinions and beliefs more closely in having to defend them tirelessly. It’s certainly prepared me for living in an increasingly repressive world. It helps that I’m autistic coz I don’t know what people expect of me.
Sometimes I get people from government in Singapore asking why I work for a different government and not for them, and I’m like, where would I fit? I am not, by any definition, an acceptable government worker in Singapore.
The default civil servant in Singapore is a church going straight lady who went to the right kinds of schools. I spent my entire life there knowing I was never going to be default person in Singapore.
@NilaJones sometimes they say they can make an exception for me, because they want all exceptional Singaporeans, but then I tell them that exceptions are not rights and they are not norms, so if they are not offering queer rights to everyone it’s not for me
In 2023 I had a conversation with someone who made me laugh. He said.. ‘did you know.. some people in our high school social group are still really angry that you blogged the things you blogged about the government and the church, and the Iraq war.. in 2004?!’ Those things are not even on the Internet anymore, but I totally believe it.
It’s also not default or acceptable behavior to have a strong opinion, and express it, especially if it is opposite to acceptable opinion
(I left church and Christianity forever in 2004 because of support for the Iraq war and its stance on Palestine. I made no secret of it. You’re not supposed to question any of this. Or to say that loudly.)
Anyway, I know in my bones that Singapore society and life is not for me, but in my heart and soul I just miss home (not necessarily the society, but all of the.. bits). Even if it is an extremely comforting and comfortable and privileged place for me to exist within.
In case you don’t know, evangelical Christianity is huge in Singapore and is very aligned with Pentecostalism, charismatic churches; many of its top leaders are Joel Osteen’s peers. Many of its values are aligned with Christian patriarchy, the quiverful movement, and things like that. We got it from all sides, from Billy Graham in the U.S. and from Hillsong in Australia. It’s a massive cult
Having been on my own decades-long exvangelical journey, I'm curious - does that fact that you 'escaped' make you more or less understanding of those who have not, and haven't really tried? Speaking for myself, I'm a lot less sympathetic. I've always thought that if I'm willing to do the work, then so can they. I begrudge their stasis.
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