@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

A bird in the hand would like to be released, you jerk

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Life is thousands of normal and boring days, and then one day when you decide to wrestle an elephant

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

I just want to be famous for a good reason or rich for a weird reason

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Who needs sleep when you can dwell and fret for many glorious hours

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

You can take a potato to prom (as your date or just to eat)

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Live your best life. Commit insane crimes they’ll make movies about. Teach birds how to start fires

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

I just want to chill and avoid all looming maelstroms and hellscapes

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

He wore his heart on his sleeve. He quickly died. The sleeve is a bad location for the heart

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Lying in bed trying to understand everything while also relaxing

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

I respect how my anxious thoughts work so hard all day and then work even harder all night

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Sometimes I feel weird, mainly because I’m weird. But not always for that reason

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

You don’t have to do this to yourself. You can read a book or something. I mean, I’m doing it too, but still

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. Life is a carousel of choices

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

I’ll sleep when I am finally tired enough to turn off my evil little pocket computer

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

We never talk about how global warming might cause violent superpenguins

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Hopefully your skeleton never abandons you suddenly in the night

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Wish I had the optimism of dogs at a barbecue

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Science fact: Knees are just leg skulls

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

People seem to get confused when you follow them around playing a flute

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Reject the mortifying ordeal of being known. Embrace the delightful ordeal of eating pizza

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Maybe you’re the main character in a boring novel where very little happens

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

I am not my brother’s keeper. That would be Dave, from Dave’s Keepers. Guy does some good keeping

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Eating cheese as a temporary solution

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

When you saw one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I ditched you. Seems pretty obvious to me

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Oh, you think you’re better than me? Most people are, pal. You need higher standards

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • mdbf
  • ngwrru68w68
  • modclub
  • magazineikmin
  • thenastyranch
  • rosin
  • khanakhh
  • InstantRegret
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • Durango
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • provamag3
  • GTA5RPClips
  • tacticalgear
  • normalnudes
  • tester
  • osvaldo12
  • everett
  • cubers
  • ethstaker
  • Leos
  • anitta
  • cisconetworking
  • megavids
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •