@donni@mastodon.social avatar

donni

@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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donni, to random
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I don’t grapple with despair. That sounds painful. We just hang out

donni, to random
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When it comes to the passage of time, personally, I disagree

donni, to random
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I could swear there was a time when my phone didn’t always tell me upsetting things

donni, to random
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Look, I’m trying my best, but actually that sounds hard and I am not

donni, to random
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If I was a giraffe, I would simply wear many fine turtleneck sweaters

donni, to random
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Women wanted him. Men wanted to be him. Birds mocked him. Fish disliked him tremendously

donni, to random
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Gently urging my brain to shut up and be cool, so everyone will like us

donni, to random
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Can’t sleep due to 17 vague fears and 4 specific concerns

donni, to random
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Elbows are just baby knees for your top legs

donni, to random
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Whoever named our galaxy "The Milky Way" should not be allowed to name anything else

donni, to random
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My eyes are bigger than my stomach, due to The Incident

donni, to random
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, so I will not say it. Happy to help

donni, to random
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Thinking about using my mind to control my brain

donni, to random
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It’s rude and sad that food turns into poop and leaves you

donni, to random
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Your toes could be up to anything. They’re too far away to supervise

donni, to random
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I only stay up late because I love being extremely tired and suffering the next day

donni, to random
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It's a beautiful day outside if you're not a vampire. Pretty sure I'm not, but why risk

donni, to random
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I try to calm down at least once a year

donni, to random
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Thought about something too long and hurt my own feelings, a useful skill to have

donni, to random
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You are stronger and more skilled than basically all babies, so there’s that

donni, to random
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Yes, I am mad about the important issues, but I still make the effort to to get upset about stupid bullshit also

donni, to random
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Scientists agree that the best thing to do is lie on the floor

donni, to random
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I have a complicated relationship with me

donni, to random
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Sorry I’ve been kind of gloomy lately. I’m sure I’ll get over it in 30 to 40 years

donni, to random
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How do I monetize this creeping sense of despair

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