@kyleejohnson@jawns.club
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

kyleejohnson

@kyleejohnson@jawns.club

Recovering CIO. Edge-case pedantic. Runs with scissors. Won’t speak on all male panels. Physical nomad currently residing in Philadelphia who works in municipal government IT. 🙋‍♂️he/him/his.

Big fan of #DoctorWho #StarTrek. Hobbiest into #RaspberryPi and #HomeAssistant. Avid #SCUBA diver. Still enjoy talking about #technology although I tend to look at it through the lens of #SocialJustice now.

#fedi22

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kyleejohnson, (edited ) to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

I can now confirm that if you have a cookie sticking out of your mouth, Apple FaceID will fail to recognize your face.

aronow, to random
@aronow@hachyderm.io avatar

Me, yesterday: I don't need to make a to-do list, I'll totally remember these 6 things!

Me, today: Fuck.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@aronow my threshold is two. I can hold two todo items in my brain. After that it’s a full memory flush and I will remember none of them.

hotdogsladies, to random
@hotdogsladies@mastodon.social avatar

“Refusal of the call.”

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kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@hotdogsladies I think next time my boss asks me to do something, I'm going to politely tell them I am on the “refusal of the call" part of my hero’s journey and thus can't do that task for them.

davekonopka, to random
@davekonopka@jawns.club avatar

What’s going on with the Free Library Author Events?

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@davekonopka not much info, but: https://www.myphillyalive.com/blog/philadelphia-free-library-author-events-team-resignations-spark-concern-and-curiosity/

mayaisloading, to random
@mayaisloading@beige.party avatar

Hey, Mastodon! What is your laziest cleaning hack that surprisingly works great?

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@mayaisloading @RamenCatholic we hired someone to clean the house. I don’t know how you can be more lazy than that. Admittedly, it’s not very hacky.

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

Always, my friend. Always. https://mastodon.social/@thisemailfindsyou/112548701914945123

APBBlue, to random
@APBBlue@zirk.us avatar

It's my brother's birthday.

He's a Trump supporter.

Sorry, Kevin.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@APBBlue I feel like you should send him a birthday cake with 34 candles on it.

APBBlue, to random
@APBBlue@zirk.us avatar

I like my new job, but I still don't want to go to work today.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@APBBlue

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Titus Burgess GIF by NETFLIX

alicemcalicepants, to random
@alicemcalicepants@ohai.social avatar

TFW your IT department has done such a thorough job of making everyone suspicious of unsolicited external emails, they have to send an all-staff email swearing the staff survey invite is genuine 🤣

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@alicemcalicepants If they've really done their jobs well, you also don't believe the email saying the other email is real. It's distrust all the way down. The way god intended it.

StephanieMoore, to random
@StephanieMoore@mastodon.online avatar

Well I’ve officially received a rejection along with a reviewer citing my work to me.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@StephanieMoore “this work has not properly considered Moore, et all (2018).”

“Motherfucker, I am Moore, et all” should be an appropriate response that negates that reviewer. God I hate reviewer #2.

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

It should be illegal to own a payment network and then open an ad network using all that data.

https://www.theverge.com/2024/5/28/24166381/paypal-building-ad-network-transaction-data

Jennifer, to scifi
@Jennifer@bookstodon.com avatar

I just found out season 2 of Outer Range is available!! I absolutely loved season 1, it was such a unique story (sci-fi western!). I guess I'll sign up for Prime for a month to watch it. Anything else new and good on prime right now? #SciFi #OuterRange

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@Jennifer I have The Wheel of Time, Reacher, and Fallout on my list to watch when I get Prime for a month. I also have Leverage: Redemption, but I think the first two seasons are on FreeVee (season 3 will be on Amazon Prime).

mudboot, to random
@mudboot@beige.party avatar

what new name could you call your job that could also be the name of a sex tape?
mine is called "visiting package land"

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@mudboot “enabling membership in the mile high club” (I work at an airport)

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

The City of Philadelphia’s annual employee satisfaction survey was released last week. This was also released last week. They may or may not be related. I leave that to you, dear reader, to decide.

https://workchronicles.substack.com/p/comic-employee-satisfaction

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

I swear to god if I don’t get a superpower out of this soon, I’m gonna ask to speak to the manager. https://mxtthxw.art/@mxtthxw/112500971285748815

jeffjarvis, to random
@jeffjarvis@mastodon.social avatar

Good Lord. The Washington Post blew this, choosing not to report on the Alitos' (plural) flag at the time, dredging it up now, masking the failure amid background paragraphs. Democracy dies in terrible, irresponsible, credulous, complicit news judgment. Shame.

Wife of Justice Alito called upside-down flag ‘signal of distress’ https://wapo.st/4dS1BCf

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@CarlG @jeffjarvis @LeaBug we should start calling any group of corrupt people a Robert’s Court. Make his name synonymous with leading corruption. I mean, I’d rather impeach the entire right wing of the court, but shaming them publicly and often will have to do for now.

waldoj, to random
@waldoj@mastodon.social avatar

It was just that very normal thing where you fly an inverted US flag to indicate you’re unhappy with your neighbors. At the same time that a fascist faction flying that flag attacks Congress to try to overthrow the government. Look, this could have happened to any of us. https://wapo.st/4dS1BCf

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@sgillies @waldoj @StephanieMoore maybe it’s some version of The Picture of Dorian Gray where they dump all their batshit crazy beliefs into their wife’s so they can be completely unbiased.

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

I mean, it makes about as much sense as any other poll prognosticator bullshit.

Biden Bounces Back In Polls As Americans Notice Netflix Added A Few Good Shows Recently
https://www.theonion.com/biden-bounces-back-in-polls-as-americans-notice-netflix-1851499915

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

I often just type pseudo code logic in to get going, and my success rate with that running first time is still better than AI. https://wandering.shop/@cstross/112497877700597337

stux, to random
@stux@mstdn.social avatar

Outstanding move!

Cat & human play chess. Human does a move and cat shoves it off the board

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@stux we call that the falling edge gambit. It decimates the opponent because every piece they move they lose, and none of your pieces even engage.

kyleejohnson, to random
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

OK, this one is pretty good.

Mechanical-Armed Grimes Flees Elon Musk Compound With Five Wives In Stolen Cybertruck
https://www.theonion.com/mechanical-armed-grimes-flees-elon-musk-compound-with-f-1851488909

oreoteeth, to random
@oreoteeth@jawns.club avatar

I threw out a few old AC adapters at the recycling center today. So if the entire mobile phone industry grinds to a halt, my bad.

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@oreoteeth you will absolutely discover tomorrow that you needed one of them.

kissane, to random
@kissane@mas.to avatar

I take it back I take it back Mastodon does like music don’t eat me

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@kissane Yea, I was kind of wondering how long it would take for the music folks to find you. About a day it seems.

Thandie Newton Serac GIF by Westworld HBO

mudboot, to random
@mudboot@beige.party avatar

the worm in my brain made me buy a hoodie in the summer

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@mudboot I think it’s really important to have hoodies for every season. I support your brain worm in that decision.

CatherineFlick, to random
@CatherineFlick@mastodon.me.uk avatar

ffs, WHY
https://mastodon.social/@verge/112492255719842981

kyleejohnson,
@kyleejohnson@jawns.club avatar

@CatherineFlick @emilymbender @verge car companies sure are making it easy to not by their stuff. Remove CarPlay/Android Auto? Dead to me. Require subscriptions for basic features? Double dead to me. Add AI anything? Fuck them and the horse they road in on.

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