so i only get high very occasionally but my partner had recommended smoking before doing chores. for them it was a way to make them more fun but for me i was stressed the fuck out. if i’m getting high i want to be lying in bed and watching a movie i don’t need to pay attention to or something
I thought of Skyrim, maybe that’s a mod. I don’t know anymore. Pretty much any property the archer is the upgrade though. I’m thinking the frightened skeleton with an amusing accent is a tier I haven’t hit yet…
About twenty years ago (holy fuck am I old), I was leaving work and got a call.
It was my cousin, a known pothead and all around great guy.
So, I pull over and answer.
“Dude, are you there?” Is what he hits me with when I say “hey cuz”
“Yeah, I’m here, what’s up?”
“I am so fucking high right now.”
“Dude, you’re always fucking high.”
“No, no man, you don’t get it, I am so fucking high right now.”
“Okay, how high are you?” I said that stumping assuming he was going for a joke setup.
“Oh man, I am so fucking high!”
“Oooookay. You alright, man?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m just really fucking high.”
“Is that all you called for?”
“Uh, I dunno man.”
“Dude. You are really fucking high.”
“I KNOW! It’s really fucking trippy dude!”
“Look man, I’m sitting in a gas station parking lot, lemme call you when I get home, okay?”
“Oh shit!, nah man, you gotta help me!”
“Sure man, what’s going on?”
“I have no idea where the fuck I am. I need you to come get me.”
I literally face palmed at that. “Dude, I’m 200 plus miles away from you. And if you don’t know where you are, how would I even find you?”
“Fuck. Hold on.”
I hear a car door open and slam. He drives an old monte carlo that creaks and groans every time.
A minute or two passes. I’m starting to worry he lost his car or something.
But he comes back on, “hey, I’m at the Wal-Mart in ***insert town maybe an hour drive from his house.”
“Okay. Look, dude, it would take me hours to get to you. You’ll come down before I’m even halfway. You gotta chill and ride this out.”
“Okay, yeah, yeah, I can do that. You gonna come get me?”
Facepalm again.
“I’ll stay on the phone with you. You’re gonna laugh at yourself later, dude.”
And he did. Maybe a half hour later, he was back to his usual stoned self.
Apparently, he had gotten some seriously potent hydro and smoked it before he left the house. It hit him while he was driving, and it hit hard. He found somewhere to park because there were light trails and shit around traffic lights when he’d turn his head.
So, this meme is totally him lol.
Oh! And when he got out of the car? He went over to some old lady and asked where he was. She asked him if he needed an ambulance. He told her no, he was just lost.
In my head, that lady was thinking “is that what they call being face melting high these days?”
“Hit Me Baby One More Time” was actually written by Max Martin - he’s written a lot of the hit songs of the last few decades, including “I Want It That Way” by Backstreet Boys, “Blank Space” by Taylor Swift, “I Kissed a Girl” by Katy Perry and “Blinding Lights” by The Weeknd.
latte.isnot.coffee
Hot