'We Support the Right to Freedom of Expression,' Says University Official Who’s Trying to Contact the National Guard (reductress.com)
Columbia University Qualifies That Students Only Allowed to Stage Protest if It’s Quiet and Ineffective (reductress.com)
‘School Never Taught Us About Taxes,' Says Woman Who Wouldn’t Remember It Even If They Had (reductress.com)
read more: reductress.com/…/school-never-taught-us-about-tax…
Why I Stopped Dating Guys My Age and Started Dating Guys Who Were Born as Old Men and Are Aging in Reverse (reductress.com)
read more: reductress.com/…/why-i-stopped-dating-guys-my-age…
U.S. Military Doing All It Can to Save Civilians in Gaza From Weapons It Sent to Israel (reductress.com)
Not the Onion, but still great satire.
Roommates Who Can't Afford to Live Alone Accidentally Growing Old Together (reductress.com)
'Still Think I’m Too Old?' Says Biden Spotted Shopping at Forever 21 (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/still-think-im-too-old-says-bide…
Study Finds Whatever Your Landlord Is Doing Is Probably Illegal (reductress.com)
Study Finds Whatever Your Landlord Is Doing Is Probably Illegal (reductress.com)
read more: reductress.com/…/study-finds-whatever-your-landlo…
REPORT: Cat Doesn't Hate Guests, It Hates How Fake You Act Around Other People (reductress.com)
read more: reductress.com/…/report-cat-doesnt-hate-guests-it…
‘Remote Work Is Hurting Company Culture,' Says CEO After 3rd Round of Layoffs (reductress.com)
read more: reductress.com/…/remote-work-is-hurting-company-c…
Woman Unsure if Pain in Leg Just Cramp or Life-Threatening Blood Clot From Birth Control (reductress.com)
read more: reductress.com/…/woman-unsure-if-pain-in-leg-just…
‘I Don't Believe Deepfakes Should Be Regulated,' Says Man Who Is the Reason Deepfakes Should Be Regulated (reductress.com)
‘This Is Just Like The Sopranos,’ Says Woman After Going to Therapy and Also Committing Crimes (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/this-is-just-like-the-sopranos-s…
Bully Suspended for Verbally Harassing Peers Argues He Was Just Pushing Boundaries With His Comedy (reductress.com)
Jealous? This Snow Is Getting Plowed (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/jealous-this-snow-is-getting-plo…
Woman in Awkward 47-Year Period Where She's Too Young to Write Memoir and Too Old to Play Webkinz (reductress.com)
In what has been described as a “faith-shaking” turn of events, Seattle resident Ryan Farrington has recently come to the realization that she’s in the awkward 47-year period of life where she’s still too young to write a memoir, and yet too old to play Webkinz....
How to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth Without Making Your Bitchy Tooth Jealous (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/how-to-satisfy-your-sweet-tooth-…
Complete Mental Breakdown Self-Diagnosed Each Week as ‘Sunday Scaries’ (reductress.com)
In an impressive display of malpractice, Shoshanna Feldman self-diagnoses the complete mental breakdown she has at the end of each weekend as the “Sunday scaries”....
I LIVED IT: I Couldn't Tell if My Laundry Was Wet or Just Cold (reductress.com)
Just like taxes, laundry is a core but exasperating task we all must face so long as we are alive. Everything becomes meaningless social constructs when you do your laundry – time, reality, even states of being. I learned this the last time I did my laundry, and after putting it in the dryer for what seemed like a whole phase...
Woman Only Feeds Her Cat Three Times a Day Because She Is Mean (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/woman-only-feeds-her-cat-three-t…
Why I Stopped Exfoliating My Feet and Started Hardening Them Into Weapons (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/why-i-stopped-exfoliating-my-fee…
Password Expiration Policy Forces Woman to Change Dog’s Name Every 60 Days (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/password-expiration-policy-force…
Oh No! This Woman Drank So Much Sleepytime Tea She Was Pronounced Legally Dead (reductress.com)
link: reductress.com/…/oh-no-this-woman-drank-so-much-s…
Deadline Set by Self Graciously Extended by Self (reductress.com)
