Nothing worse than being told you're rude because your answer came out snappy because you're really stressed about traveling. 😤 (I said repeatedly I am stressed because of traveling)
"I understand you're stressed but what's up with the attitude?"
"I am not trying to be rude, I am stressed."
"Well you are."
And if I say autism sometimes shows up like this I will get the ol' "I can't even say something because then you'll bring up autism".
How am I supposed to deal with this?
I thought I was gonna get a full but kind of cozy and calm day in the lab. But things are not going so well with my RNA extraction (which has worked beautifully in my hands a previous time, but I don't do this particular one regularly) so I had to stress to find someone who can give advice.. am afraid of losing the precious samples 🙈 aaaaaaahhhhhhhh
@purplepadma thanks 💜yeah trying to not feel too panicked and stressed, I am of course doing everything to the best of my ability. Hopefully I will get some purified RNA, the samples are nothing to be easily generated again unfortunately so I am feeling the pressure. The question is also if I will be able to use a different method to extract the other half today, otherwise all my planning will get delayed a lot, machine bookings will be hard to get etc... 🙈🙈🙈not what I needed to day! 😅🥲
Wish me luck, talking to my manager in 10 mins. I don't want to cry but I already cried in front of a coworker yesterday and most of yesterday evening, and feeling like it might come out more.
I really really hope for assuring words and support.
It's not going very well with the not ruminating. I played some guitar and sung - hoped it would calm my nerves and it probably has.. was listening to some music from my teenage years and was mending, cried a little more...
I'm not in a very good place. I hope I can manage to sleep tonight.
Please clap! I took the very uncomfortable step and notified a project I was supporting on the condition that I have time and no other higher priority projects that I can't support them at the moment due to other workload.
Trying to set those boundaries.
Feeling stressed and dysregulated today.
In part because some analysis is not as conclusive as I hoped for, in part due to other people being inconsistent af, in part due to big big meeting coming up tomorrow where I will put forward some asks for Neurodiversity support to our senior leadership at my work and is so important to me... And a few other small unplanned, uncertain things sprinkled about. Aaaaaahhhh! #ActuallyAutistic
Lots of peopling today...
Also just got the news that our floor will be re-organised which means my unofficial office will disappear 🫠 need to talk to my line manager and see what we can do 🙈 I am scared.
This office is one of the few things really helping me to be on site and not completely burn out. #ActuallyAutistic
@Fury yeah, it's really bad news and with the whole hot-desking otherwise it will probably be difficult to find anything as food as this. The other focus rooms have high demand and you can't book them and shouldn't camp... It's awful.
@AutisticDoctorStruggles@Fury Oh I hope you can get something sorted out… hot-desking is the worst, IDK anyone who doesn’t hate it, but for ND people it must be especially dire xx
SO and I started discussing pet ownership (dog or cat), we are both longing for a floof or two and while I think I would be a good pet owner in general I am still a bit worried about how it would be when I am doing poorly. Of course, partner can probably step up most of the time, in these cases and probably the pet would help with feeling poorly too.. I am potentially worrying too much? How are other disabled folks with pets experiencing pet ownership?
In my case I think that having a cat tends to help me along, even when I feel poorly. Every day Ginza gives me something to smile about and the sense of responsibility to her helps me attend to my own needs as well.
Plus the love that a pet can give is special. You don´t have to worry about any sort of complex machinations or lies, their love is so earnest I find it absolutely breathtaking at times.
One more day! Our speaker will arrive soon and present at 10:00! I really hope it will be packed in the auditorium! It certainly sounded like many people intend to come!
I am feeling okay-ish, but this will probably be an intense day!
@purplepadma it went well! Our speaker was fantastic! People were captured and engaged! And two of our senior leaders were present as well and I think it has sparked some impulse to take action!
I have one more peopleing activity, then I will head home and crash!
"Life can contain traces of musts" - in German "musts" (Müssen) and dativ of "nuts" (Nüssen) are spelled almost the same, so that makes it sound like a declaration of possible allergens on a package of chocolate.
I took 75% sick leave today. The lack of sleep from the absolute killer headache left me feeling exhausted & unfocused. Wanted to take a short meeting though (moving would have been a bigger hassle, than calling in for 10 mins) & catch up on a few small things which was ok. I could see how tired I looked on camera 😅 Glad to take it easy the rest of the day, my stomach was not feeling well either with the pain meds I took during the night. So now I kick back with Civ VI on the switch.