@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

DivineKestrel

@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw

Black autistic train wreck of the manic pixie chaos demon variety. Desperately sapphic and depressingly touch-starved. Constantly walks into the cocktail party naked in heels because my sense of boundaries is entirely fucking broken.

I dream of having bigger tits, a day collar, and someone who calls me "pet." Someday I will meet a woman willing to tie me up in a vaguely uncomfortable position and fuck me until the pain stops. Until then I'm here to rip my chest open and pour 75 conflicting emotions all over everyone's expensive shoes.

I post about sex A LOT because I'm a horny chaos demon. My posts auto-delete after a while for the safety of humanity.

If I don't know you, you might consider interacting a bit before requesting a follow or I might ignore it.

If you're a cis man, you might consider not interacting at all…or at least thinking real hard before explaining my own jokes to me or describing the nuances of politics or science, both which I've written actual books about.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

DivineKestrel, to random
@DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

There's a Black saying: Racism is such a part of America that when you complain about it people think you're complaining about America.

Look at all the people telling me complaining about Mastodon.

DivineKestrel,
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@Impossible_PhD whitespace. It's not just for typography anymore! 🤣

DivineKestrel, to random
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I wrote a post on how as a Black person, I feel an undercurrent of racism in Mastodon that white people don't even see.

And my mentions are filled with white dudes telling me how I'm wrong, that I need to explain it, and that I don't know what I'm talking about.

So all you white people looking for proof, there it fucking is, like I knew it would be.

DivineKestrel, to random
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Like I said… every fucking time. And it's always a fucking dude.

This jackass chowderhead in my mentions talking about "Oregon was far away from slavery" because god fucking forbid someone reads something. 🙄

https://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/exclusion_laws/

DivineKestrel, to random
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I remember living in South Carolina. It was racist as hell. Like, just straight up open love of The Confederacy, people straight up saying n** and talking about "those people." Whole areas and towns of Black folk living separate and interacting only when they need to.

Now I live in Oregon. Almost nobody is openly waving confederate flags. Everyone talks about inclusion and tolerance and acceptance. And there are a lot of people who will tone police others about that. It's a happy place of liberal joy.

Here's the thing: There are a TON of Black folk in South Carolina. Some places they are the majority, if not in power. And the Black folk know what they're dealing with, and can fight it very directly.

Meanwhile, there barely are any Black folk in Oregon, because the state made laws to exclude them. And now we're either subtly excluded or openly objectified. And we can't say anything because we'll hurt white feeling.

Twitter is like South Carolina.

Mastodon is like Oregon.

DivineKestrel,
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@clewd this exactly. It's impossible to explain to the virtual signaling "I'm not racist" leftists here too, because if you fucking hint at it they are all up in your shit with their white fragility ass feelings and filling your timeline with "please explain" nonsense.

And they will never see how just acting Black can get someone like me banned from a server because they are too fucking busy whining about how not racist they are to see the fucking racial bias they are swimming in.

It's like how many damn times we gotta sing the same goddamn song, read a fucking book.

@Polychrome

rooster, to random
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deleted_by_author

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    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster Tell them they are the inspiration for today's lunch. I am dedicating my mac and cheese to their phenomenal replicator work.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    Walking is so different when you have a vagina. It's sort of wild. Everything about how I walk changed and it's all confusing.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Dani @phoenix_fairy

    Obviously I don't have an AFAB pelvis, so my legs don't angle inward as they go down, but they are significantly closer together, and as I walk with my legs closer together, my feet overlap more and almost hits each other. And my hips sway more. So it's kind of changed my whole walk.

    I will say that I'm exclusively walking in short skirts without panties. No idea what jeans or shorts will feel like.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    You have not experienced life until you've put a boiling hot compress inside your vulva.

    DivineKestrel,
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    Sorry… pain. That was a weird autocorrect.

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Trans girls will be like "Ugh this picture of me with my hair pulled back and no makeup is 100% man" and then send you a picture of the sexiest fucking Sarah Connor pose you've ever seen like what the fuck stop being dangerously hot I'm trying to drive.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Dani Getting sir'd in a dress really fucked me up for weeks.

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    I just took a video of me pushing my dilator to depth, meant as an illustration.

    It is the most overtly porny video I've ever taken… like straight "playing with a dildo in my vagina and moaning" porn. There's literally no other way to look at it.

    So, naturally, I thought about deleting it…

    …and instead sent it to a girlfriend to drive her crazy.

    DivineKestrel, to random
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    If you are considering gender harmonization surgery (of any kind), but just not sure if it's the right decision, here is the best way to figure out whether you actually want it or not:

    First thing's first: Take the first step right now.

    Here's the reality: Wait times are absolutely horrendous so get on the list. Today. Now.

    All the rest of this can happen during the year or however long you are forced to wait. Get on the list.

    Call around, set up some consultations right now. Put all the "But which minor variation of the surgery do I want?" thoughts out of your head. Get on a list.

    Then get on another surgeon's list for a different minor variation. Then get on another for the third minor variation you're thinking about.

    Get on the list. Today. Now.

    Because it's going to be like two years before you are in surgery, and you can do all your hemming and hawing during that time.

    1/

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    Now that you are on the list, here's your next step:

    Take the next step.

    Remember, you can always back out. You can always stop. You can always just say "Nah, that's not for me." But you can't go back in time and start the clock again. So keep it rolling.

    Take the next step

    Whatever that is. Therapist, electrolysis, HRT, getting in shape, whatever the hell that is, do it.

    Don't worry about down the line. Don't worry about three years from now. Don't even worry about tomorrow.

    Take the next step.

    2/3

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    What do you do after you take the next step?

    *Take the next step."

    Remember, you're still deciding what you want. You're still trying to figure out if it's right. You're still trying to decide if this is right for you.

    And you can always decide it's not. You're just taking one more step. Not committing to anything.

    Take the next step. That's all you have to do. You're letting the clock run while you figure stuff out.

    And after that? Take the next step?

    If you haven't backed out, then just take the next step.

    And then suddenly you're in the recovery room filled with joy that nobody can ever take away from you.

    Because here's the trick: You already know the answer.

    You already know what you want. You already know it's the right choice.

    Because if it was not, you wouldn't be thinking about it. You wouldn't have taken that first step… and the next… and the next.

    You were just fighting voices that were not even yours.

    Don't fight them. Just take the next step.

    3/3

    rooster, to random
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    deleted_by_author

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    DivineKestrel,
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    @rooster Goals.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster I'm frustrated that I couldn't get implants as big as I wanted because that's exactly what I wish. I want everyone seeing me to have their first reaction be "Whoa! Boobs!"

    rooster, to random
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    deleted_by_author

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    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster Hormones and Horrors

    rooster, to random
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    deleted_by_author

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    DivineKestrel,
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    @rooster the more things change…

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    Old meme but evergreen expectation for those meeting me for the first time.

    rooster, to random
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    deleted_by_author

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    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @rooster WOOOOOW!!!!

    WrenArcher, to diy
    @WrenArcher@beige.party avatar

    My wife and I are talking about the tub we need to get for the bathroom reno.

    We’re thinking about getting a black one or light gray. We think it will be different… unique.

    Me: Is there black caulk available?

    My wife: what did you say?

    Me: CauLLLLk. Is there matching cauLLLk available for either one?

    DivineKestrel,
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    @WrenArcher Wren Jesus why didn't you ask this months ago I would have given you some and you now I just cut it off!

    DivineKestrel, to random
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    St. Patrick was a racist colonizer and a murderer. If you don't understand that "snakes" was a metaphor, you're missing history because it was written by the victors.

    DivineKestrel,
    @DivineKestrel@chaosfem.tw avatar

    @Pagan_Animist you're right, I should edit that to be explicit that I'm not talking about the later Celtic Christians but rather the pagans they murdered.

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