PhD #trans girl! She/Her, thing explainer and technical writing scholar interested in trans usability studies and design theory. Gender questioning folks are very welcome to message me! ⚢ Married. Opinions mine.
Think I’ll be taking a break for a while. I have always been too much. Too much to fit into any boxes. Couldn’t fit into a male box, not sure I fit into a trans box. Probably some way that I don’t fit into a nonbinary box. Don’t fit into a work box, too many art boxes for me to fit into. Can’t fit into a trauma box. Tired of trying to fit in.
@OftOverthinking A typical article is around 3000ish these days, for reference.
And tbh, I'm not surprised. Amanda Roman's piece had a huge impact for questioning folks. I didn't find it until I was well past that stage, but I saw the impact it had on people... and how it want able to speak to some of the most important stuff. So, I spent a few months, did a lot of research, and ran it past some psychologists for prerelease feedback.
I knew there was an unmet need. I just didn't expect I'd--
@OftOverthinking
--actually be able to effectively meet it, and certainly not to the scale I did. Like, when it premiered, it did, on its first day, about twice what most of my articles back then did, and it really hasn't slowed down since.
For a sense of scale, it's been out for about ten months. That means it's gotten, on a monthly basis, more readers than a typical article of mine gets total.
There's a part of me that loves seeing it when someone tweaks their display name around here to talk about their boobs being too small or that they're getting a boob job. Obviously, gender affirming care is 🔥 and getting the body you need is 🔥🔥🔥.
Buuuuuut also because I know I've been an [insert adjective here] influence around here, and big boobies rule! 🤭 :smiling_angel_devil: 🍈 🍈
I discovered a Transfem Secret Technique today, and I'm gonna share it with you.
Wish you had wide, bodacious hips? Get yourself a (longline, probably) corset with hip gores, the modifications a corset needs for very hippy ladies. Put it on. Then, put a midi or miniskirt or dress on overtop. Pleated works best, but anything that's not bodycon works.
Again, pleated works best, but check that out! I have in no way earned those hips.
This might be a controversial hot take but, when I say I'm bi, it is honestly 100% not in any way shape or form about cis men. There are a lot of genders out there, there are people who are gender fluid, nonbinary (which is a spectrum, but also NOT man lite or woman lite) there are dual gendered people and agendered people and third genders from across the world.
And like I did have a point where I was like "could I occasionally be bi for like, a day a month" and a point where I was like "I would definitely stay with someone who turned out to be a transmasc, because more authenticity always increases hotness," or like, date a he/him lesbian.
And eventually I realized that I didn't really care how I thought about cis men. And I didn't think that sexuality needed to center them. And while I spent all this time thinking about if X was possible or Y was possible, or who I maybe liked once....
And I was ignoring that I've already had attraction to a nonbinary person who isn't a woman.
Wait, I was confused and then I remembered cis men's entitlement. I just spend so little time around them outside of work that I kinda forget about it sometimes.
@CharlotteEowyn I mean, you're a friend, Charlotte. You're always welcome to reach out!
But yeah, sexuality is fuzzy and weird. Like, could I claim somewhere on the bi spectrum? Technically, maybe? I'm attracted to femme-of-center presentations and gender, with some asterisks for genderfuckery of certain types. But it feels sapphic-expansive to me, so Sapphic is what I go with.
I like to look at these identity labels as a sort of shorthand, so we don't have to explain too much. They're only--
@CharlotteEowyn
--as useful as the labor they save, which is why I usually just use "lesbian," even though it's not my chosen microlabel. Once that intersects with my demisexuality...
Well, shit gets fuzzy and weird.
Which... guess that's just what it means to be queer.
I’m having a rough go of it lately. Feeling stressed and sort of adrift... like I’m unmoored and don’t know how to get back to a starting point.
The bathroom project is stressing me pretty bad. My mother in-law has lifelong untreated mental health issues that manifesting more and more. As it result she is causing stress for all of us in the house. We have my wife’s youngest staying with us for a couple of weeks while off from college which adds to the dynamic and not really in a good way.
We had a heavy rainstorm that happened about a month ago that flooded our street in the middle of the night. We didn’t know until we realized one of our cars started smelling like mold a couple days later. Just found out insurance totaled it and we are screwed because of that.
I’m still dealing with pretty serious physical health problems, work sucks, my biz partner is horrid immature man-child, pretty sure i fucked up my tax filing and actually owe a lot of money, i don’t have a therapist anymore (haven’t for two months) and I stubbed my little toe this morning.
