This is entirely nonsexual and I mean it. Why do I feel like a mom? Genuinely, I like taking care of people, being there for them and helping them pursue their goals more than I like pursuing my own. Why is it so hard for me to do that to myself but so easy for me to do that for others?
@puppygirlhornypost You want my meme? I posted this the other day. I very much have this issue myself. Maybe I want my friends happy because I am not happy?
@puppygirlhornypost Hope you don't mind me chiming in. I am disabled after my accident and I wish I cherished all the things I used to be able to do before that day. It's very painful living without doing the things I used to love but what I will say is that I am glad I spent a good part of my life doing them at least once, before missing out forever.
@puppygirlhornypost If that is the case I'll open up about it if you don't mind. I used to be very physically active. I rode my bicycle to work every single day I possibly could. I spent my whole life riding, adventuring, and being out in nature as much as possible.
After I got hit by that truck I was left partially disabled in my left leg and now it's all gone. I'll never ride a bike ever again in my entire life. No more hikes, no more nature walks, no more climing up to my favorite mountain lake for an overnight camp. Even if you could get me up there there is no way camping is an option in my condition.
The reason I started back up on YouTube again, why I started drawing and why I spend so much time here on Fedi is because... I can't go out there and live my life the same way anymore. It's a beautiful day outside and missing out on beautiful days like this makes me sometimes wish the prick finished me off instead. If I knew I would have to live like this maybe I wouldn't have fought so hard to save my own life.
I don't regret surviving the accident one bit and I am making my way towards happiness and acceptance. I love drawing, making videos and spending time with my fiends here but losing so much and trying to re-build my life again has been a brutal experience. I wouldn't wish this fate on my worst enemy.
@mir I used this trick when I used to have to do an overnight watch. Take an object and place it in your hand, something heavy but not dangerous. Then hold it over your foot. If you fall asleep it will drop from your hand and on your foot which should wake you back up.
Is this annoy and painful? Yes. Does it work? Also yes.
A: the site was very buggy and wasn't of much help and we currently don't have the resources (as in developers) to work on a new one, as we like to focus on Sharkey itself not marketing, we have started redirecting the domain to the documentation and have fixed any links in the docs.
Sharkey funding for server hosting issues is used to run a minecraft server
A: We did have hosting issues but those were not responsible for the website being down. Sharkey is a project of TransFem.org, that means it runs on the same servers as TransFem.org, we did have a funding campaign for collecting funds to use for hosting TransFem.org this was reposted on the Sharkey account as Sharkey is a part of TransFem.org, it was also stated that said money would be used for hosting TransFem.org and it was never said it would solely be used for Sharkey, with that said yes there is a Minecraft server running on the same servers as Sharkey is, that being the TransFem.org servers which said Minecraft server is for. just like the TransFem.social fedi instance that runs on the same servers because its part of TransFem.org
The lead is just playing minecraft instead of working on the project
A: this is partially false, the project lead isn't much involved in actual development and more in sysadmin and management and has recently taken a bit of a break for mental health reasons and started playing on the modded minecraft server, that said they are still helping out when they are needed and this has no effect on Sharkey whatsoever
please keep in mind we are just a bunch of hobbyists working on this software, we do this for free, in our own time, the money we make with donations goes to hosting costs of the entire TransFem.org
@ChloeCat It never hurts to have alts. A lot of servers are hosted by very generous, talented but individual developers. Anything can happen to them at any time and there isn't a team around the clock that can fix those issues, having multiple alts on multiple servers is a very good idea.
I also suggest reguarlly backing up your Fediverse data into a drive offline just incase the instance your on gets nuked off the face of the earth randomly (cough, cough hetzner)
@ChloeCat I don't think this is something that you can easily distract away. I very often have the same issue when trying to fall asleep or falling back asleep after I wake up. My brain moves a mile a minute so it's a tall order just to tune everything out.
My only suggestion is to find something for your brain to focus on other than your intrusive thoughts. I like to fall asleep watching documentaries. Something just interesting enough to focus on but dry enough where it's calming and you can easily fall asleep watching it.
Don't even ask me how it works. I think if moved a single thing the entire factory would collapse under the weight of all this massive mismanagement. I moved a single power pole and almost had an unrecoverable black out :neocat_laugh_sweat:
:ablobcatrainbow::ablobcatrainbow: Full Emotion Avatar Set has finally dropped :ablobcatrainbow::ablobcatrainbow:
Special thanks to @LianSirenia@LianSirenia for all her hard work in creating my avatar. I absolutely love them, they are exactly what I imagined :neocat_laugh:
I feel the need to say this because a couple folks cite me as an inspiration to start drawing and I just heard a way of phrasing it that helped me articulate it:
"Draw every day" is bad art advice.
It's bad because it's incomplete. It's possible to draw on a consistent schedule that is not daily and improve far faster than someone who is drawing every day. The thing that's missing is the need to put together a study plan to consciously and intentionally address the areas and concepts in which you are wanting to improve.
@LianSirenia I'm still just doing this for fun. I like having something where I can turn on music and tune everything out for a few hours. Honestly, I really needed something like this in my life.
I have zero expectations in anything other some feedback on how I can do it better next time since I'm going to put the effort in either way.
@LianSirenia I've been there before with the piano. It's really hard to learn piano and playing it every day poorly also pisses your neighbors off a lot :neocat_laugh_sweat:
if i seem more distant lately, that's because the current state of the internet scares me
i feel like i'm being backed into a corner & it's making it harder to trust people
i don't know who's a bad actor or not, & it's been proven to me time & time again this past year that i can't necessarily trust others like me either, & it's been getting to the point where i've begun suspecting people closer to me too
@asbestos_chan I mean you aren't 100% wrong with this feeling. Conspiracies get a bad wrap from the crazy nut jobs but if we are being honest here. Any two people planning to do anything against anyone else are conspiring. They happen all the time and they are usually true.
@ChloeCat@ielenia@NotThatDeep Okay, I couldn't find the exact one I grew up with but this is VERY similar. Even had the wood trim on it. Yeah, let's just good by temp indefinitely with a single switch. That's probably safe :neocat_googly: