@PixysJourney@beige.party
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PixysJourney

@PixysJourney@beige.party

Howdy, I'm Cynni Pixy (nicknames obviously). I've got several other accounts but they have different specific goals. Here I want to share my journey through life.

My avatar is a cartoon image of my dog, surrounded by rainbow colored hearts. She's a brown Labrador with greying snout (age 10).
My header is a picture of my Labrador resting her head on a couch side.

I try to #AltText all my images.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 207 , Wednesday 22/05/2024

Up early as Mrs S. was in the office today.

Felt a lot better today , eating almost normally , just feeling somewhat knackered still.

There’s a calm, peacefulness when I’m on my own, especially at the moment.

After yesterday’s epic ‘War n Peace’ entry there is not much to add today.

Final Thoughts.

I’m hoping that full digestive services will be restored!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
🤗 Glad you're feeling a bit better. And yeah, the moments we're on our own can be quite good as we can be ourselves all the way then... 😊
Have a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to actuallyautistic
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Question to fellow folks... :confusedparrot:

For what sort of toots could I use hashtags like or the previous two I just used?

I Toot quite a bit about me and my quirky way life. But I never really know if I "should" add any ND hashtags as the "silly" things I Toot about are quite normal to me. If that makes sense 🤔...

I'm proud enough, these days, of who I am. But I wonder if and when it would be good to add some of these tags... Maybe it could help connect with other peeps like me 😇.

Fankoos 🫶🏻 for your help! 🌸

@actuallyautistic

:boosts_ok_gay:

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic
And of course now I wonder if it makes sense to ask if I could use the tags? I can always use them, but I don't want to use them wrong, if that makes sense... 🤔
I just easily worry too much about way too many things...
Thanks again!
:neurodiversity:

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@jacquiharper
Thank you 🌸
I don't think I know how not to overthink though... I've always worried and then some... 🤔
And I'll definitely keep sharing Arwen 🐾 when I can, thank you 💜 I mostly share her snaps on my Pixelfed these days, but sometimes I boost them on this account. 😉
Fankoos 🫶🏻
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@pathfinder
Fankoos 🫶🏻
I'm just worried in a way that people may feel I don't use the tags correct and maybe end up blocking me because of that.

I'd like to tag my journal and daily things posts with the tags, but I was in doubt if they'd be "good enough" to be tagged... 🤔

I know, I worry about the most silly things! 😂 But after being told so often that I did things wrong, I'd like to know "the rules" now so I can apply them as I should. If that makes sense 🤔

Thanks 🌸 again!

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@jacquiharper
:ablobcatnod: all the way! 👍🏻

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@pathfinder
Fankoos 🫶🏻 again! 🤗

I guess I can't ever please everyone 😉 but indeed, it's what "we do", we like the rules so we know what to expect and what is expected of us.

I'll experiment a bit with upcoming toots, let's see how it will play out...

Thank you 🌸

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Tuesday 21/05/2024

TL:DR Late up today , so was more or less ignored. Clues to whether I’m AuDHD & if I’m going thru a burnout period came to light from fellow ND Peeps.

I had a somewhat enforced lay in this morning, in that I was so exhausted that I simply slept thru all the noise that would usually wake me up.
I finally got up around 07:30. Life obviously went on without me, even though Mrs S. was working from home.

Me: I’m a total introvert & wish to be alone.
Also Me when wife zones me out because I was late to get up: I’m so lonely !!!
Is the mind of an ND bananas or what ! (Possibly some for of nut in my case 🤦‍♂️ )

I risked a ‘proper’ breakfast this morning - I seem to have survived it 😊

I would normally have cleaned the bathroom today, but because I’m not feeling so good that didn’t happen. I know from past experience it won’t get done until I feel well enough, be that days or even weeks 🙄🤦‍♂️

I wrote a little while back , when I got the results of my assessment thru , that the Consultant Psychiatrist had suggested that I be assessed for ADHD too. That is currently on hold.
But , & here’s the thing I read a toot ( linked below) from @ashleyspencer that totally spoke to me & I recognised EVERYTHING she was talking about !
Well call me a Squirrel & bounce a walnut off me ‘ed !
I number of other folk on here have suggested that I had ADHD symptoms , but I could never put the whole package together in my own head to the point that I ‘felt’ it!
Maybe I need to pull the whole ‘getting ADHD assessment’ off the back burner ?

I also realised ,based on a toot from @pathfinder (again see the link below) that I may well be experiencing a period of autistic burnout - it seems to be so similar , in key ways to where I am at the moment. No wonder I’m struggling!

Got back into the post-apocalyptic world of Fo4 this afternoon, I had forgotten how enjoyable this game is.

Final Thoughts.

I am struck once again how much I am coming to depend on the @actuallyautistic community to help me progress on my ASD journey and understand more about me!

Special thanks to Ashley & Kevin for pointing the way today. 🙏

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

https://autistics.life/@ashleyspencer/112474885392479715

https://beige.party/@pathfinder/112476066417549514

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ello sweets!
First of all, don't stress getting the "labels" too much. While they can be helpful at times, nothing much will probably change once you have them...
In my experience, it helped me to get a better understanding of why I do things. I can explain my reasoning a bit better to friends and family.
But others won't treat you differently if they don't care to begin with... You'll still be who you are. There's no medical solution that can "fix" everything. Even without the official label, you can still be validated as being ND in more than one way. ITMS... 🤔
I did have some group therapy for the AuDHD and it didn't help me one bit... 😔 People even told me I used my diagnosis to have a reason to be an asshat 🤔 so it won't make that much of a difference to have the label, don't pressure yourself too much...
What helped me was to read about it, I read the easier books like the Dummy ones, as the more technical were harder for me. I tried to talk about it with people that supported me. My bestie even asked to read the dummy books so she could have a better understanding. 😊 But not all people are like that. Some will see the label as an excuse for your "bad behavior" towards them... 😔
Just wanna say, read, talk, explore and not stress about it.
Having an official label won't change who you are on the inside. And to many people on the outside, it probably won't make a big difference, unfortunately...

"Just" my experience since being diagnosed in early 2011. Things may have changed since then, maybe they're better in the UK than they are here... I went in for ADHD testing and came out with AuDHD in the end. But what helped me most was the self awareness. Why do I think and do differently and why that isn't bad or wrong, perse...

Sorry, long reply!!! Good luck 🍀 and I hope you'll find an inner peace with it all. Because that may help you to feel a bit more relaxed, perhaps. 🤗

💜🫶🏻

@ashleyspencer @pathfinder @actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024

Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.

Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.

Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didn’t go exactly to plan 🙄🤦‍♂️

Hopefully tomorrow will be better !

Final Thoughts.

Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Hope you'll have a better night now. 🤗
Having a bug is no fun... 😔
Hey ho, let's hope tomorrow will bring some improvements 🌸
Have a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

amyfou, to Dogs
@amyfou@lingo.lol avatar

Good morning, friends 💕💕☕☕🐕🐕

It was apparently a late night because they are still mostly asnoozle

Close up of the face of a dog who was snoozling seconds ago but was awakened by the photographer. Her Kong toy is near her snoot

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@amyfou
Good day sweeties! 🐾 💜 🐾 Boops from Arwen and myself

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 204 , Sunday 19/05/2024

Up around 8am , Sunday turned out to be a lovely sunny day , which I enjoyed, relaxing & recovering!

Caught up on Mastodon, there are some tremendous folk on here !

Still struggling with the old appetite , exhausted as buggery but I am defo on the way back up !

Apparently there are albino badgers out there ! This is a wonder of the world !

Final Thoughts.

You know when you’re a kid & you dream of your future …

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Never stop dreaming of a future.
And remember you may be able to give yours a direction with the choices you make...
At least that's what I am trying to do 😇
Take your vitamins, eat well, exercise some 😉 and hopefully it will all add up to feeling better soon!!!
It has for me, so I share this from my experience. We're all different of course. But I do believe with a healthier body also comes a wee bit happier mind. 🤗 😘
Have a good night sweets 💜🍀 and 🐶 👅 🐾 from Arwen 😉

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024

Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.

It’s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. 🙄🤦‍♂️

I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.

I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - don’t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.

Final Thoughts.

Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?

I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Hope you'll feel better with some more sleep dear! 🤗
Chronic depression sucks, chronic pain sucks too... Very true as I fall into both categories. 😔
Maybe check if you're getting enough of your vitamins and such? Maybe a supplement or two could help you to be more resistant to all the bugs? I know my supplements help me... 😊 Could be worth to check out. 😊
Have a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Oof I guess the Chinese and pizza don't exactly hold many vitamins nope... Nor will it be effective to help Woof in the right direction. 😔
Would be smart to get a wee bit healthier foods in there or at lest some helpful supplements to get some of the needed vitamins at least....

Good luck 🍀
@actuallyautistic

18+ Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 201 , Friday 17/05/2024

The number of things that trigger me that I have to keep bottled up , for the sake of a quiet life ! l
Like her taking just the stuff out of the dishwasher she needs (sometimes moving other pots out of the way & then putting them back in the dishwasher ! ) & just the stuff she needs - generally to make her morning snack, which she then leaves for me to tidy away!
It’s even more triggering on days when she is working from home!
No wonder all motivation is dead well before mid-day!

Once upon a time men were criticised for going to work & leaving everything else to their wives, well I have news for the world, that never went away & has achieved true equality! Certainly in our household!
It’s 09:12 & my day is fecked & I still have the dishwasher to empty, her dishes to wash / put in the newly emptied dishwasher & then hang out the laundry.
Don’t get me wrong I fully appreciate that I have to contribute , but I never signed up for this & I don’t know how to tackle it.
GP suggested marriage guidance - yeah sure that’ll work well with my autistic nature & dislike of humaning !
Sometimes it’s all too much & I just want my head to explode & get it over with !

Oh now I’m coughing & aching all over, gimme a break !
Seems I’ve come down with another bug ! Achy, stomach rebelling at the thought of lunch, freezing cold - got a warm top on and wrapped in a blanket. Had a warm Ribena™ (my hot drink of last resort) which appears to have helped a little.
Is it normal for hot drinks to mean you feel colder when you initially drink them - my body thinks so at the moment!
Ahhhh !!! I cannot get a break this year !
And another thing my tinnitus is so loud ! *grumpily snuggles deeper into blanket.
I refuse to go to bed at 13:54 on a moderately sunny summers day !
I shall kill baddies instead & hope I don’t die too much.

Ok it’s 18:30 I’m on the brink of falling asleep.
No appetite , which is a damn shame it being pizza night!

Final Thoughts.

I’ll be the one at the taxidermist….

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Sorry the marriage is shitty like that... The same happened when I wasn't able to work anymore and my hex was.... I got all the chores and complaints when they weren't done... After all, I had the whole day to do them... Never mind why I could not work anymore.... 🤔
So I totally understand... And I'm sorry... 😔

Hope you'll feel better soon!!

Digital huggies, don't wanna get the lurgies 😂, and boops from the two of us! 🐾

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
🤗 😘
@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 201 , Thursday 16/05/2024

Up early again , the weather was miserable again, bouts of heavy rain interspersed with showers in the very occasional burst of sunshine.

The weather absolutely affects my mood, so it has been a challenge to interface with the world today.

At least it’s still fairly warm, having the windows open, if only a little , is really nice for me, a bit of a sensory high. 😊

Final Thoughts.

A quiet early summer day , with classic UK weather.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ow yeah, weather definitely affects the moods!! Warm is nice, too hot isn't. Dry is nice. But some rains are needed at times as well... 😊 Preferably when we're inside 😇 haha!
Hope you had a decent enough day even with the English weather!
Have a good sleep sweets! 😘

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 200 , Wednesday 15/05/2024

Up early again , breakfast, chores , whole 9 yards.

I’ve been referred to the local cardiology dept for my dizzy spells , phone appointment next month, I don’t hold out much hope that they will get anywhere, but never say never hey !

Octopus Energy , after an initially promising start, have totally failed to get our smart meter system working properly. Both meters appear to be transmitting so that at least is an improvement but the IHD is only showing electric readings. In the latest episode the help desk lass - ‘Edna’ gave me the instructions to set up a budget …. Despite me sending her a photo showing that the IHD is NOT seeing the gas meter at all!
I mean will setting a budget magically get the comms going between the gas meter & the IHD ? I think not !

Final Thoughts.

Why is it so hard to get seemingly simple things done in this world ?

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ello sweets! 200 days in eej? That's something! 😁

Oooof that'd not good! I do hope my energy provider won't mess up with the upcoming move! 😔 Reading about this does make me more anxious about everything that could go wrong...

Hopefully the doc will be able to help you... It would be nice to know what's causing the spells...

Have a good night sweets! Catch you when you're up again! (when I'm not driving mum around 😉)
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
You're very welcome 🤗 😘
And thank you! I do hope so... 😊

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to random
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

Busy morning! Again 😉 but... I blame Arwen this time 😂.
We had the early SniffBook walkies. But she already wanted a buggy walk...
Our friend and their dog will join us for a walk around 8. But we probably won't be able to do the water walk...
Sooooo in order to keep my gall happy, I'm gonna squeeze in buggy walkies as well. If all goes well, we'll have an hour rest then before the next walk 😂.
Which means we'll head to the shed soon and start our way...
If the weather gets worse throughout the day, she should be good enough with short walks I hope...

Sooooo, let's hit the loo and then get Arwen and myself ready for the buggy walk. I guess I'll get my steps in again today... 😇

🧚🏼‍♀️ 🍀 💜 🐾

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 198 , Tuesday 14/05/2024

Up just before 6am for some reason that will have scientists puzzled long after the Unified Field Theory is discovered!

Breakfast is done & coffee is drunk.
I sit looking at my TL & feeling a strange reluctance to engage. It’s not that anyone has upset me or that I’m particularly triggered by a toot . I just shy away from interaction with the rest of the Fediverse.
Some of it is that I feel overwhelmed by the number of folk I have to respond to - I have to respond to everyone who mentions me or who greets the world at large, it’s an unconscious imperative for me.
Most days I love this level of interaction, it energises me & elevates my spirits, but not today.
I will engage with folk, because I feel that I will failed them & myself if I don’t.
Maybe a shower first though, prevaricating ….

Ok so the day got better & SM was engaged with !

Hit Fo4 this afternoon then the usual evening activities.

Final Thoughts.

Ok struggling at the moment , thank Nuggan it’s warm & mostly sunny otherwise it might be quiet grim!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Hopefully you had a decent day.
I get it... Low spoons make it hard to even do something like social media. I also feel I should reply as soon as I can... Thats why I always feel sorry when I have notifications left when I need to go to bed... It feels like I failed my friends to chat with them... So when I'm up again, I always wanna reply ASAP then.
Yay for the good weather!! 😁 It was very hot here...
Yay for gaming as well. 😊
Hope you're having a good night sweets 😘

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
You're very welcome! 🤗
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@DoubleTreble
Good morning 🌸
Yeah I'm the same...
When I'm down I don't think I'd be any interesting so why would I write to bore others with it 😔
But I also feel guilty when I don't reply to sweet toots by friends...

@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@DoubleTreble
🤗 😘
@Tim_McTuffty @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to random
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Ello sweet and lovely Friendos 💜

I'd like some advice please!!
Regarding: Google Chromecast TV (HD).

Mum has my old small TV in her hobby room. It has Netflix but that's it. I'd like her to be able to use more steaming services on it, without her needing to use her phone (she's not that tech savvy).

So I found the Chromecast with TV support, and it said you don't need a phone for it. The TV is HD so we don't need the expensive version...

But is it really easy to use???

Do I just extter all the info in the stream service apps that she has and then the box will make sure she can watch them all??? Can it really be that easy???

Please do let me know... 😊

Her bday is coming up and I'd love to get this for her if it really works that simple...

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 198 , Monday 13/05/2024

Up early for some reason beyond this simple squirrels reasoning.
Tidied up after herself, did my chores & went for a walk in the warm early summer sunshine !

I cannot seem to find the impetus to get stuff done, I work best to a deadline & the only person pushing me at the moment is me, which would be fine but I have minimal motivation levels at the moment.

I’m wondering from day to day like a leaf blowing in the breeze, no direction, no purpose.
At least the days are warm now & a lot sunnier, saving energy is easier , my lone mission to drag our energy bills down is less onerous in the summer.

Final Thoughts.

I suspect that I am going through a depressive episode, I hope I come through to the other side soon.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Owww well... Yay for the nice weather and walk! And another yay for saving some energy 😉

I think my routine helps me to keep motivated to do things, that and I have Arwen to care for. But yeah, some days I'm just blah too and then the routine will "tell me what to do" haha. And sometimes it tells me to do to tomorrow, like the dishes 😇 Hihi...

Hope the weather will help you to feel better dear! Try to enjoy the little things in life as much as you can! 🤗

@actuallyautistic

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