@PixysJourney@beige.party
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PixysJourney

@PixysJourney@beige.party

Howdy, I'm Cynni Pixy (nicknames obviously). I've got several other accounts but they have different specific goals. Here I want to share my journey through life.

My avatar is a cartoon image of my dog, surrounded by rainbow colored hearts. She's a brown Labrador with greying snout (age 10).
My header is a picture of my Labrador resting her head on a couch side.

I try to #AltText all my images.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

18+ Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 209 , Friday 24/05/2024

Up slightly later today as herself was not in the office.

Usual palaver , I make breakfast she makes her snack, I clean up after her.

I was all up for breaking out past my agoraphobia, but once again triggers were pressed & so here I am stuck inside.

I did venture into the back garden to sort out the kitchen compost tub.

Apparently Iโ€™m having a chip butty for me tea, I wanted a simple pizza (ham n mushroom ) but her masters voice has spoken & a chip butty it is.

Sometimes I wish I was more vocal, but I hate arguments & I always cave, or on the rare occasions I hold my own I get guilted into feeling that Iโ€™m in the wrong.

How do we like our roast squirrel, rare or well done ?

Final Thoughts.

Hey ho - the joys of married life.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Sorry you've been triggered sweets.
While I "miss" being with someone (it has pros and cons), I do enjoy the freedom I have. But having no one at my side can also feel lonely and scary at times... ๐Ÿ˜” Guess we need to be very lucky to have it all...
Hope you're having a good night sweets ๐Ÿค— ๐Ÿ˜˜

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 208 , Thursday 23/05/2024

A quiet day, recovery from Squirrel Pox continues apace.
Eating is now easier & my stomach is merely uncomfortable rather that outright rebellious!

Final Thoughts.

I try so hard to be inclusive, I try to police my boosts , I try to include alt-txts . Sometimes it seems I fail.
I hate failing.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Glad you're feeling a bit better again master Skwerl!
Don't try too hard... I've been there and I still struggle at times as well.
But I've learned that by "just" being, by "just" being kind and honest, you can be this amazing person. We can't please everyone, but if we please ourselves with our decency, it's a good place to start. ๐Ÿ˜Š
Have a good night sweets ๐Ÿ˜˜

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
You're very welcome ๐ŸŒธ and that's all you can do my lovely friend ๐Ÿ’œ
@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 207 , Wednesday 22/05/2024

Up early as Mrs S. was in the office today.

Felt a lot better today , eating almost normally , just feeling somewhat knackered still.

Thereโ€™s a calm, peacefulness when Iโ€™m on my own, especially at the moment.

After yesterdayโ€™s epic โ€˜War n Peaceโ€™ entry there is not much to add today.

Final Thoughts.

Iโ€™m hoping that full digestive services will be restored!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
๐Ÿค— Glad you're feeling a bit better. And yeah, the moments we're on our own can be quite good as we can be ourselves all the way then... ๐Ÿ˜Š
Have a good night sweets ๐Ÿ˜˜

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney, to actuallyautistic
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

Question to fellow folks... :confusedparrot:

For what sort of toots could I use hashtags like or the previous two I just used?

I Toot quite a bit about me and my quirky way life. But I never really know if I "should" add any ND hashtags as the "silly" things I Toot about are quite normal to me. If that makes sense ๐Ÿค”...

I'm proud enough, these days, of who I am. But I wonder if and when it would be good to add some of these tags... Maybe it could help connect with other peeps like me ๐Ÿ˜‡.

Fankoos ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป for your help! ๐ŸŒธ

@actuallyautistic

:boosts_ok_gay:

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@actuallyautistic
And of course now I wonder if it makes sense to ask if I could use the tags? I can always use them, but I don't want to use them wrong, if that makes sense... ๐Ÿค”
I just easily worry too much about way too many things...
Thanks again!
:neurodiversity:

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@jacquiharper
Thank you ๐ŸŒธ
I don't think I know how not to overthink though... I've always worried and then some... ๐Ÿค”
And I'll definitely keep sharing Arwen ๐Ÿพ when I can, thank you ๐Ÿ’œ I mostly share her snaps on my Pixelfed these days, but sometimes I boost them on this account. ๐Ÿ˜‰
Fankoos ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป
@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@pathfinder
Fankoos ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป
I'm just worried in a way that people may feel I don't use the tags correct and maybe end up blocking me because of that.

I'd like to tag my journal and daily things posts with the tags, but I was in doubt if they'd be "good enough" to be tagged... ๐Ÿค”

I know, I worry about the most silly things! ๐Ÿ˜‚ But after being told so often that I did things wrong, I'd like to know "the rules" now so I can apply them as I should. If that makes sense ๐Ÿค”

Thanks ๐ŸŒธ again!

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@jacquiharper
:ablobcatnod: all the way! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

@pathfinder @actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@pathfinder
Fankoos ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป again! ๐Ÿค—

I guess I can't ever please everyone ๐Ÿ˜‰ but indeed, it's what "we do", we like the rules so we know what to expect and what is expected of us.

I'll experiment a bit with upcoming toots, let's see how it will play out...

Thank you ๐ŸŒธ

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Tuesday 21/05/2024

TL:DR Late up today , so was more or less ignored. Clues to whether Iโ€™m AuDHD & if Iโ€™m going thru a burnout period came to light from fellow ND Peeps.

I had a somewhat enforced lay in this morning, in that I was so exhausted that I simply slept thru all the noise that would usually wake me up.
I finally got up around 07:30. Life obviously went on without me, even though Mrs S. was working from home.

Me: Iโ€™m a total introvert & wish to be alone.
Also Me when wife zones me out because I was late to get up: Iโ€™m so lonely !!!
Is the mind of an ND bananas or what ! (Possibly some for of nut in my case ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ )

I risked a โ€˜properโ€™ breakfast this morning - I seem to have survived it ๐Ÿ˜Š

I would normally have cleaned the bathroom today, but because Iโ€™m not feeling so good that didnโ€™t happen. I know from past experience it wonโ€™t get done until I feel well enough, be that days or even weeks ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I wrote a little while back , when I got the results of my assessment thru , that the Consultant Psychiatrist had suggested that I be assessed for ADHD too. That is currently on hold.
But , & hereโ€™s the thing I read a toot ( linked below) from @ashleyspencer that totally spoke to me & I recognised EVERYTHING she was talking about !
Well call me a Squirrel & bounce a walnut off me โ€˜ed !
I number of other folk on here have suggested that I had ADHD symptoms , but I could never put the whole package together in my own head to the point that I โ€˜feltโ€™ it!
Maybe I need to pull the whole โ€˜getting ADHD assessmentโ€™ off the back burner ?

I also realised ,based on a toot from @pathfinder (again see the link below) that I may well be experiencing a period of autistic burnout - it seems to be so similar , in key ways to where I am at the moment. No wonder Iโ€™m struggling!

Got back into the post-apocalyptic world of Fo4 this afternoon, I had forgotten how enjoyable this game is.

Final Thoughts.

I am struck once again how much I am coming to depend on the @actuallyautistic community to help me progress on my ASD journey and understand more about me!

Special thanks to Ashley & Kevin for pointing the way today. ๐Ÿ™

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

https://autistics.life/@ashleyspencer/112474885392479715

https://beige.party/@pathfinder/112476066417549514

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Ello sweets!
First of all, don't stress getting the "labels" too much. While they can be helpful at times, nothing much will probably change once you have them...
In my experience, it helped me to get a better understanding of why I do things. I can explain my reasoning a bit better to friends and family.
But others won't treat you differently if they don't care to begin with... You'll still be who you are. There's no medical solution that can "fix" everything. Even without the official label, you can still be validated as being ND in more than one way. ITMS... ๐Ÿค”
I did have some group therapy for the AuDHD and it didn't help me one bit... ๐Ÿ˜” People even told me I used my diagnosis to have a reason to be an asshat ๐Ÿค” so it won't make that much of a difference to have the label, don't pressure yourself too much...
What helped me was to read about it, I read the easier books like the Dummy ones, as the more technical were harder for me. I tried to talk about it with people that supported me. My bestie even asked to read the dummy books so she could have a better understanding. ๐Ÿ˜Š But not all people are like that. Some will see the label as an excuse for your "bad behavior" towards them... ๐Ÿ˜”
Just wanna say, read, talk, explore and not stress about it.
Having an official label won't change who you are on the inside. And to many people on the outside, it probably won't make a big difference, unfortunately...

"Just" my experience since being diagnosed in early 2011. Things may have changed since then, maybe they're better in the UK than they are here... I went in for ADHD testing and came out with AuDHD in the end. But what helped me most was the self awareness. Why do I think and do differently and why that isn't bad or wrong, perse...

Sorry, long reply!!! Good luck ๐Ÿ€ and I hope you'll find an inner peace with it all. Because that may help you to feel a bit more relaxed, perhaps. ๐Ÿค—

๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿป

@ashleyspencer @pathfinder @actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 205 , Monday 20/05/2024

Was up till the early hours of this morning with stomach cramps after last nights daring attempt to eat scrambled eggs & beans for tea.

Spent the day getting lots of exercise up & down the stairs to take a pew, if you get my drift.

Attempted to interact on here a couple of times but my brain is apparently on sick leave so it didnโ€™t go exactly to plan ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Hopefully tomorrow will be better !

Final Thoughts.

Is the babel fish truly a fish if it spends most of its life out of water ?
This & other great questions of our age will have to wait until I can think straight!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Hope you'll have a better night now. ๐Ÿค—
Having a bug is no fun... ๐Ÿ˜”
Hey ho, let's hope tomorrow will bring some improvements ๐ŸŒธ
Have a good night sweets ๐Ÿ˜˜

@actuallyautistic

amyfou, to Dogs
@amyfou@lingo.lol avatar

Good morning, friends ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜•โ˜•๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•

It was apparently a late night because they are still mostly asnoozle

Close up of the face of a dog who was snoozling seconds ago but was awakened by the photographer. Her Kong toy is near her snoot

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@amyfou
Good day sweeties! ๐Ÿพ ๐Ÿ’œ ๐Ÿพ Boops from Arwen and myself

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 204 , Sunday 19/05/2024

Up around 8am , Sunday turned out to be a lovely sunny day , which I enjoyed, relaxing & recovering!

Caught up on Mastodon, there are some tremendous folk on here !

Still struggling with the old appetite , exhausted as buggery but I am defo on the way back up !

Apparently there are albino badgers out there ! This is a wonder of the world !

Final Thoughts.

You know when youโ€™re a kid & you dream of your future โ€ฆ

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Never stop dreaming of a future.
And remember you may be able to give yours a direction with the choices you make...
At least that's what I am trying to do ๐Ÿ˜‡
Take your vitamins, eat well, exercise some ๐Ÿ˜‰ and hopefully it will all add up to feeling better soon!!!
It has for me, so I share this from my experience. We're all different of course. But I do believe with a healthier body also comes a wee bit happier mind. ๐Ÿค— ๐Ÿ˜˜
Have a good night sweets ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ€ and ๐Ÿถ ๐Ÿ‘… ๐Ÿพ from Arwen ๐Ÿ˜‰

@actuallyautistic

Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024

Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.

Itโ€™s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that Iโ€™m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ

I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.

I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - donโ€™t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.

Final Thoughts.

Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?

I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic
#TimsASDjourney #ActuallyAutistic #Neurospicy #TheMammutMoves

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Hope you'll feel better with some more sleep dear! ๐Ÿค—
Chronic depression sucks, chronic pain sucks too... Very true as I fall into both categories. ๐Ÿ˜”
Maybe check if you're getting enough of your vitamins and such? Maybe a supplement or two could help you to be more resistant to all the bugs? I know my supplements help me... ๐Ÿ˜Š Could be worth to check out. ๐Ÿ˜Š
Have a good night sweets ๐Ÿ˜˜

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
Oof I guess the Chinese and pizza don't exactly hold many vitamins nope... Nor will it be effective to help Woof in the right direction. ๐Ÿ˜”
Would be smart to get a wee bit healthier foods in there or at lest some helpful supplements to get some of the needed vitamins at least....

Good luck ๐Ÿ€
@actuallyautistic

18+ Tim_McTuffty, to actuallyautistic
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party avatar

Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 201 , Friday 17/05/2024

The number of things that trigger me that I have to keep bottled up , for the sake of a quiet life ! l
Like her taking just the stuff out of the dishwasher she needs (sometimes moving other pots out of the way & then putting them back in the dishwasher ! ) & just the stuff she needs - generally to make her morning snack, which she then leaves for me to tidy away!
Itโ€™s even more triggering on days when she is working from home!
No wonder all motivation is dead well before mid-day!

Once upon a time men were criticised for going to work & leaving everything else to their wives, well I have news for the world, that never went away & has achieved true equality! Certainly in our household!
Itโ€™s 09:12 & my day is fecked & I still have the dishwasher to empty, her dishes to wash / put in the newly emptied dishwasher & then hang out the laundry.
Donโ€™t get me wrong I fully appreciate that I have to contribute , but I never signed up for this & I donโ€™t know how to tackle it.
GP suggested marriage guidance - yeah sure thatโ€™ll work well with my autistic nature & dislike of humaning !
Sometimes itโ€™s all too much & I just want my head to explode & get it over with !

Oh now Iโ€™m coughing & aching all over, gimme a break !
Seems Iโ€™ve come down with another bug ! Achy, stomach rebelling at the thought of lunch, freezing cold - got a warm top on and wrapped in a blanket. Had a warm Ribenaโ„ข (my hot drink of last resort) which appears to have helped a little.
Is it normal for hot drinks to mean you feel colder when you initially drink them - my body thinks so at the moment!
Ahhhh !!! I cannot get a break this year !
And another thing my tinnitus is so loud ! *grumpily snuggles deeper into blanket.
I refuse to go to bed at 13:54 on a moderately sunny summers day !
I shall kill baddies instead & hope I donโ€™t die too much.

Ok itโ€™s 18:30 Iโ€™m on the brink of falling asleep.
No appetite , which is a damn shame it being pizza night!

Final Thoughts.

Iโ€™ll be the one at the taxidermistโ€ฆ.

Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! ๐Ÿซ‚ ๐Ÿซถ๐Ÿฟ๏ธ๐Ÿ––

@actuallyautistic

PixysJourney,
@PixysJourney@beige.party avatar

@Tim_McTuffty
๐Ÿค— ๐Ÿ˜˜
@actuallyautistic

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