Track_Shovel,

Then you have a kid and you spend the rest of your life

https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/d6659475-303f-4d95-909c-ed90aaed1058.webp

littlecolt,

You say: We aren’t trying for a baby, but we’re not avoiding it either.

I hear: I’m off my birth control and we’re raw-dogging like 5 times a day.

Socsa,

And when they do get pregnant I’m the asshole for saying “congratulations on your successful ejaculation!”

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

My wife got pregnant on our first try. Yes, I am that potent.

redempt,

yes that’s what euphemisms are for

gwildors_gill_slits,
Paddzr,

No way! Grown adults have sex when in relationships???

But nuance is lost on people. When you call sick at work due to a stomach bug, do you also graphically describe what’s coming from where?

lemmyseikai,

I do when my employer questions my call out.

Zoidsberg,
@Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca avatar

If my employer questioned my call out, my next call would be the union rep.

WeirdGoesPro,
@WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

“Lolz, what union?” - My Boss

vaultdweller013,

The thing preventing car bombs from vaporizing you and thine ilk.

Paddzr,

Great. That’s a shit employer and hopefully they’ll know better! Depends where you live, but at least here in the UK you don’t need a doctor’s note for the first 7 days. The employer is not entitled to full information and your sick pay is part of your contract.

Nice_Melt_Pleb,

Sorry for living in the US I guess? At my job I would get fired after 3 days without a doctor’s note.

uriel238,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Yeah, consider yourself lucky in that regard, though when the Tories start thinking about rolling it back, you might want to be prepared to blow up Parliament.

SendMePhotos,

You can say anything you want to anyone, but there’s usually a better way to say it.

psycho_driver,

I’ll take girl #1, Pat.

hungryphrog,

We live in a susiety.

Imgonnatrythis,

Depends on your social circles I guess.

Sharpiemarker,

Name a social circle where you can use language like in the first example, and it’s acceptable.

Rolder,

Furry convention

itslilith,
@itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

this one

Sharpiemarker,

Well you got me there

Neato,
Neato avatar

Friends who are OK talking about and don't shame you about sex. Also friends who have a sense of fucking humor.

uriel238,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

A BDSM munch comes to mind.

Sharpiemarker,

I’m ok with not knowing what that is. I’ll take your word for it.

blackstampede,

A munch is a non-sexual social gathering of kinky people with food.

ArmokGoB,

Furry Discord servers

Sharpiemarker,

I’m learning a lot today

DreadPirateShawn,

Cums with the territory.

Sharpiemarker, (edited )
Restaldt,

🍍

Socsa,

My friends and family say this kind of shit all the time, I’m sorry your life is without humor.

Sharpiemarker,

Big assumption there chief

dion_starfire,

I know several people in the kink community who would congratulate and be enthusiastically happy for someone who said the first, but would only politely say “congrats” to the second.

volvoxvsmarla,

Half of my former social circle would have found the second version unacceptable

IHadTwoCows,

And you be tellin.your nana about it at Thanksgiving dinner

uriel238,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

I just like that someone is getting laid every night and that is part of their best life. In fact, I assumed the hot messy creampie woman is managing her fertility as she sees fit.

Also jizz is totally a drug. Dopemine, I think.

chumbalumber,

And yet the doctor tells me I have to stop snorting jizz because it’s “bad for my lungs”. Like, ok narc smh

uriel238,
@uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

That raises some good questions about how to best absorb dopamine from jizz. I suspect anally is super-effective.

Inhalation of nebulized jizz probably less so, but worth a try.

li10,

I swear I’ve seen people say stuff like this seriously, is this actually what some people think?

I don’t like kids, but you see some odd reactions from people these days, like on /r/Childfree.

Disliking children is not a personality.

BolexForSoup,
BolexForSoup avatar

deleted_by_author

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  • kzhe,

    Anti-natalism is the belief that it’s immoral to bring in new sentient beings into the world and isn’t inherently bad to be, I’m sure most of them don’t attack people who have kids constantly.

    BolexForSoup,
    BolexForSoup avatar

    Ah I guess the terms have become somewhat conflated then. Either way, there are definitely large swaths of the child free crowd that are incredibly hostile to parents and children.

    LinkOpensChest_wav,
    @LinkOpensChest_wav@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

    I think in both cases, a line gets crossed when people start hating the kids themselves. I’m not talking about having an aversion-- some of them genuinely hate kids. Even if I believed it were an atrocitious act to bring children into this world, even if I were to find children unpleasant(1), it’s not the kids’ fault.

    (1) Oh hi! 👋 You saw my footnote! Just wanted to make clear I’m talking about a hypothetical person here. I personally like kids and don’t find them unpleasant. Just making sure you know that so we don’t start a pointless argument. Have a fantastic day!

    BolexForSoup,
    BolexForSoup avatar

    Well said

    uriel238,
    @uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

    This.

    People don’t have kids because they ponder the possibility of creating a new person. (They exist, but they’re the rare exception.) They have kids because they want the minime or the cute thing, and are not thinking about the angsty horny teen that toddler will become, or the struggling adult getting abused by The Man. (Unless the family is rich, in which case, how dare the brat have a personality, or is LGBT+ or wants to do theater rather than take over the business)

    And then, my kid (by blood) and grandson (by marriage) are going to face a massive global population correction in their lives which will shape their entire lives the way Dresden affected Vonnegut. I love them both and am jolly sorry they are just going to have to deal.

    I also get the drive to breed is compulsory. The baby machine has been honed across eons of evolution to overwhelm resistance. Those who can go childfree, I encourage to do so. But those who do have children, even in a society that disregards them, I get it, and figure we should spoil them as much as we can.

    moog, (edited )

    This has nothing to do with disliking kids. It’s just poking fun at how we euphemise things sometimes.

    On another note, I really fucking hate kids lol. I’m so glad I’ll never have them. How much I loathe them is nowhere near how obnoxious people get about their kids. They make them their whole personality way more than I ever will make being child free mine.

    HobbitFoot,

    This is an SNL skit about two gay men trying for a baby: youtu.be/v7PYpysL_dI?si=AfIRnvUkFoH2rINu

    BolexForSoup,
    BolexForSoup avatar

    I saw someone describe it as "anti-natalist" which i feel is way more apt. Don't want kids? Child free. Hate people for having children/make up strawmen to grind an axe all the time about it? You're anti-natalist.

    BonesOfTheMoon,

    Thank you for saying that. I loathe the child free people, and I don’t have kids. They’re all so stringent!

    Socsa,

    Pretty sure this is what most people call a joke.

    Tarcion,

    I love when this post/thought pops up because it just outs people who have no idea how pregnancy works.

    Socsa, (edited )

    I like how it outs all the humorless uptight busybodies personally

    Neato,
    Neato avatar

    What about this is not how pregnancy works, exactly?

    Tarcion,

    Mostly the “every night” part. There are only about 6 days a month when women can get pregnant iirc. And unless she’s getting a random train of dudes, there’s pretty significant diminishing returns on repeated loads (not that they hurt, mind you). It’s just kind of a childish comparison.

    conneru64,

    I don’t see how that means they don’t know how pregnancy works. Yeah, you could track it, or you could just cover all possibilities.

    lorty,
    @lorty@lemmy.ml avatar

    If you are trying to be efficient about it and/or are having difficulties. For the majority of people, forgoing birth control and doing it every other day is more than enough to get pergnant.

    Neato,
    Neato avatar

    Well that's complicated. A LOT of people who can get pregnant don't have regular cycles, don't have predictable ovulation, don't know or have all the regular signs of ovulation, etc, that make tracking fertile periods tough. They are also people who bleed during ovulation, or have sporadic bleeding throughout their cycle, or bleed frequently from sex, all of which can confound predicting ovulation.

    To compound that, sperm can live up to 5 days in the receivers reproductive tract extending a typical ovulation period to 11 days. https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/sperm-and-semen-faq

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