There’s a pretty well-supported theory that our education system was designed to churn out good factory workers. Obedient drones who will stand in one place for 8+ hours doing repetitive tasks that require a good memory and high attention to detail but only in the exact way they’re told to do something.
I used to complain that the rules of society were made up by “morning people and extroverts” when I was the opposite of both; now I recognize that I’m simply neurodivergent and the neurotypicals are the ones in charge. With therapy and reading posts like yours from other neurodivergent thinkers I’ve come to accept and appreciate how my brain works. I don’t see it as a mental illness (and even the term neurodivergent isn’t the best as it implies deviation from what’s “normal”). Maybe after society collapses we can build one that recognizes people think in different ways and have different strengths, but until then just remember: you’re not a bad person, you’re not broken, and you’re not alone.