Am I the Asshole?


My husband unilaterally ended our relationship about 6 months ago, but we still live together. We have 3 kids. For the long term, we brainstormed either living together, or getting two places very close to each other. We never agreed on either, but we agreed we would decide future housing together.

I cannot stay by myself in our condo b/c it's university housing (he's faculty). A few months ago, I saw a place a few blocks from our home. I thought it would be great for all of us if I moved there and that he would agree, and I contacted the landlord. My husband was furious. He asked me to promise to never sign a lease without asking him. I refused. That day, he told me "I would never do this, but I could contact that landlord and tell him that you are having custody issues." I backed off and said I wasn't planning on signing any leases.

(I do the vast majority of the childcare outside of the kids' school hours, so my guess for why he was furious is that he wants to be able to easily see the kids for an hour or two here or there, and still be able to work as much as he wants to. But I don't know.)

Since that comment, which I would consider a threat or veiled threat, he has proposed many arrangements where we live together, including one where we build a wall in our 2BR condo and we build a kitchenette for me (and he keeps the kitchen). I've said that I don't like any of these arrangements and that I think it's very rare for people to divorce and live together for 10 years. And I said I wanted to look for two places close to each other, which he doesn't want.

I felt we were at an impasse. But I felt that if I told him I was going to get my own place, he might make it very hard as per his threat; and there are few options close to our condo to begin with. So I found a place nearby and signed a lease and will tell him very soon.

AITA for breaking our agreement to decide together, and for going behind his back?

the_ghost_of_dignity, avatar

Omg, absolutely NTA. He wants you to live there in a walled off apartment as free childcare and you can’t even use the kitchen.

He wants to be single without being a single dad.

What is this showing your kids?

Contact a divorce lawyer and then move out. Don’t let him take advantage of you.

Nerrad, avatar

NTA GTF away from that abusive controlling lunatic.


Update: Karen Brigade at the dog park

So, the Karen came after me again today, AND I heard from the park people.

She came after me twice, screaming about committing a felony and police calls and having me on video. I told her to stop harassing me and to leave me alone, I also mocked her to the extent of my morning brain's capacity.

Spoiler: she didn't leave me alone.

An animal control officer got back to me, and after the required transfers and telling my ridiculous story multiple times, was told that they have no idea which government body is supposed to be in charge of setting the rules.

However, the park office team that maintains it said nothing but gravel is supposed to be in that area of the park, and they have entered a work order to officially remove ALL the weeds.

So now there will be no more sunflowers, fox tails, thistles, or other weeds. Super big win, because I couldn't pull all the fox tails myself.

The park office will get back to me after the holiday with any info they can dig up about who actually sets the rules for that particular park, but the issue is as settled as it is going to get.

The official on the phone said she hopes that having an official team remove all the weeds will get the Karens to leave me alone, and the animal control officer said if she comes after me again to not hesitate to call dispatch for harassment. I did snap a pic of the sign and of her license plate, in case I end up skewered in a ditch somewhere.

Hopefully I have properly applied the metaphorical blood on my lintel, and the Weed Avenger can pass by and leave me alone henceforth.


I was wondering why there’d be massive thorned plants inside a dog park anyways, because it seems like a bit of a liability. I personally love wild flowers and sunflowers but there shouldn’t be a hazard in a place where dogs are zooming. It sucks for the local pollinator population, though.

AnalogyAddict, (edited )

They are well taken care of. There are tons of thistles and sunflowers on the other side of the fence.

AnalogyAddict, (edited )

AITA for ripping up wildflowers and stirring up the Karen brigade?

I'll try to keep this short. A local dog park has three areas, two of which are for large/ active dogs. The front area is watered, grass, and maintained. The back area is gravel, and the weeds are allowed to grow at will. This part of the park is surrounded by empty fields on three sides, so the weeds are plentifully available.

Some of these weeds are wild sunflowers, which I enjoyed until my dog got stabbed by the dried up stems last year. One stab wound was 12 inches deep, running along the inside of her skin and over the muscle and bone. You could see her ribs in the gash. That was about $800 to fix. The second was more superficial, so I treated it myself. That second time was when I realized what caused the injury.

So this year, not wanting any dogs to be injured again, I started slowly ripping up the seedlings as they came in. No one has ever asked me about it.

This morning, there was a red marker laminated sign hole punched and zip tied to the fence saying "Please don't pick the sunflowers, other people enjoy them."

I laughed it off, and grabbed a couple more sprouts as I was picking up my and others' dogs' poop. A woman passing by said to me "did you see the sign?"

I said "yes, it's hilarious," and explained why I was removing them.

She said "well, MY dogs enjoy them."

I'm a bit slow on the uptake, but as she walked away, I realized it must have been her and this other old lady at the park that I've had situations with before. The other lady started taking pictures or video of me and my dogs.

There are no policies or laws posted against what I'm doing that I know of. I reached out to the park office this morning to ask if I should stop, so hopefully they will hear my message and I'll get some info from them.

In the meantime, am I a raging AH? It never occurred to me that people would get upset about removing a hazard like that until this "confrontation."


As long as the area is marked specifically as a Dog Park, then I would say NTA.


Don’t ask them if you should stop, tell them you’ll keep doing it and show pictures of your dog’s injuries to back up why.


AITA for telling my sister her ring was sketchy?

This happened a while ago and is potentially an ongoing issue, so I figured I could kick us off.

This is between me (31F) and my sister (36F).

I'm studying to become a gemologist. I've completed about 90% of the coursework and have a ton of new knowledge and even a decent amount of practical experience. I don't make myself out to be an expert, but I definitely know a lot more than the average person and maybe even some jewelers.

So my sister and I were talking on Zoom and I mentioned something cool I saw recently. She said "Oh! I have this ring and it's a star opal, what does that sound like to you?" Completely automatic, unfiltered, I replied with "Sketchy." She got a little annoyed and told me she would get it so she could show me (through Zoom.) Thing is, star opal isn't... real. Not in the same way that you see star sapphires. They don't have the crystal structure or formation conditions for it. So she shows me via zoom and I say "That's really pretty, but I really don't think that's opal since they don't form that way, maybe it's something else." She got defensive and said that her friend got it for her in Thailand (not confidence-inspiring tbh) and that it was just something I haven't seen before. I ended up telling her I'd look at it the next time I see her or something.

AITA for calling my sister's ring sketchy? WIBTA if she shows it to me again of her own volition and I tell her what it actually is (probably glass)?


NTA You’re both adults. She asked for your input and you gave it. Her not liking/believing your response doesn’t make you TA.



She asked how It sounded to you, so she asked for your personal or professional opinion.

Sketchy is the perfect therm to describe something bought at a touristy place without outright saying it is fake prior to further examination, especially if you know it is very very rare.

If I would be asking a friend to examine something I owned, I would appreciate a genuine reply.


I left Reddit after /u/spez continued to lie about the changes being made to the API. After finding kbin I wanted to read more AITA posts like I could on Reddit, but after finding none I created this magazine at so that I could encourage others to make such posts.

I could have waited for long-standing Reddit moderators to come here and make it but I skipped the line to do it myself. AITA for not waiting?

DustyTchotchkis avatar

@sidekick NTA - create the world you want to live in! Let your freak flag fly!

fuser, (edited )

NTA. u/spez is clearly the asshole in this relationship. You should divorce immediately.

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