How to get over not having a good college experience?
I’m going into my last year of college and I kinda felt like I did college wrong. Like, my grades are good but everything else about college I failed at. Like socially and stuff, after 4 years I barely know anybody. I commuted(to avoid debt, and did so successfully) so maybe that’s part of my problem.
But I feel college was supposed to be special time in your life and to me it has been indifferent. :/Thoughts?
You’re in good company. Lots of us looked back at college and wondered if we missed opportunities, or pursued the wrong major, or screwed up in general. The only advice I can offer is to make the best of your last year: join a club, take a fun elective, try to have lunch with someone new each week, do something silly like try to poop in every bathroom on campus before you graduate, etc. Five years from now you will be in a completely different phase of life and will have a whole different set of things to worry about.
My college experience was similar. It ultimately led nowhere for me. I don’t have a single contact anymore from my college. I don’t work in the field my degree was in. It really only served to show me what I didn’t want in life in retrospect. While I still had some fun and enriching experiences, college was only the reason I was where those took place. I graduated almost 10 years ago. College was basically the next highschool for me which I look back and think was a waste of time. 10 years on, I barely remember anything I learned.
Life gets better after college. Don’t worry about it. Cheers pal.
I commuted to university. I didn’t even like my university and their teaching program was incredibly poor. Money was incredibly tight. I never fit into the culture. The whole thing was still an experience in finding myself. I found I didn’t like cliques, didn’t like drinking/partying culture and just wanted quiet and intimate friendships. And that’s OK. University was full of difficulties and a poor experience for a lot of people. At least OP got through OK with good grades.
The good news for OP is that life gets better. Post-uni was the best time ever for me…people around me were more grown up, I finally had money, working life was much better and I had freedom to pursue what I wanted. University sucked for me and I got over it quickly and life has been getting much better since. Just look forward to how awesome your life can be from here on.
I even went back to university for a postgraduate degree much later and had a much better academic experience. Also at that point I didn’t care at all about getting into “student life” and just enjoyed studying.
College is a couple of decades ago for me. I don’t keep up with most of the people I met. The biggest significance it has on me at this point is the qualifications and skills I gained.
The people I’ve met since then have a much bigger impact on my life.
I have the exact opposite experience. It has been a decade and a half for me since I went to college. I went for 4 years, but eventually didn’t get a degree, because it wasn’t the right career for me. I do still keep in touch with the friends I made.
Now I’m doing a retry in college (2 years so far), completely different line of work and this time over I’m making friends, but the gained skills are definitely the most significant.
The difference is that this time, I don’t meet up with peoole outside of school (I have a wife and kids), which keeps the focus on school and away from long term friendships, because friendships are build on shared experiences.
Me too. I have a handful of longtime friends, but we see each other maybe once or twice per year. We do keep in touch via whatsapp a lot where we watch soccer games and star trek togehter-ish. I don’t like soccer, but it’s a good excuse to keep in touch with my friends. I feel that it’s hard to make new friends once you’re working fulltime, so I try to hang on to the once I have.
You can’t control the past so there’s not much point stressing out over it. Learn what you can from it and apply those learnings in the present where you can actually change things. If you feel you didn’t do enough social things, maybe try joining clubs, being more proactive with organising things with your friends or something else that works for you.
Everyone’s experience is different and it doesn’t mean you did it wrong, you just focused on the things that made more sense to you at the time. Maybe you are realising you didn’t value some other things enough and that’s ok, you can bring those learnings forward.
Congrats on coming into your final year btw and good luck!
It’s just another phase of life. You’ll move into the work industry and make friends there, have new experiences. Don’t give this time more significance than it deserves.
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