Actually being there and staying involved is important. My biodad was a complete POS until last year. My mom was essentially a single mother my whole life because my biodad was never around. He was a really good father for the first two years of my life, then he just kinda stopped giving a shit. I recommend that you don’t do that. He used to manipulate tf out of me emotionally and would make so many false promises. His mental health was fucked and he was an alcoholic for a long time.
I cut ties entirely with him and a few years after that, he reached out to my mom to see if we could talk. He had finally gotten his shit together. He’s on his meds and doesn’t drink like he used to. I don’t see the man as a father, however. I see him as a friend. We text almost daily, but he knows that I don’t consider him a father-figure and acknowledges it and all of his wrongdoings. He was only 21 years too late, but that’s better than never.
He is part of the reason I have a very hard time trusting people. He had let me down countless times in my life and each time just broke me. I just couldn’t not get my hopes up at his false promises. He was so good at sounding genuine. Now that he’s sober and on his meds, I’ve learned that his truly genuine tone and words are far different than the ones he used when he was still a drunk.
Anyway, I highly recommend you don’t do any of the shit my biodad did. Being hella bitter about your relationship with your father sucks.