How can my wife and I make new friends?

My wife and I are 31, no kids yet. We moved from a major city back to our home state and are struggling to make friends here.

We keep an eye on meetup postings and Facebook events, stuff like that, no luck. We went to a local board game night and it was all elderly people. Nothing wrong with that but not exactly what we’re looking for.

Where we lived before we attended a church we liked and met people there, but churches in our area are a lot different/more political than we’re used to.

I guess eventually we’ll have kids and meet other parents, but how do we make friends now at this stage in our lives?

Auduras,

Maybe try attending a volunteer or town social event. A library might have info or postings for things going on. See if there are ways to help set up and/or get involved.

AdminWorker,

There are 5 problems with this question:

Dating and marriage requires a “double coincidence of wants” where both you and your wife want to commit. (This is the whole reason that we stopped bartering because barting requires this for every transaction, and it sucks)

Your problem has a requirement of a quadruple councidence of wants: you, your wife, your friend, and your friend’s partner need to commit. That is 4 problems.

Additionally you are over age 30. Once you pass that age, people are generally of the attitude of “relationship maintenance”. So new friends are considered costly investments that have ongoing costs. (New Friends are neighbors or friends of your children/hobbies)

Here is a joke: why did Julius Caesar get stabbed? Because he thought he could have a friend after age 30.

Here is another joke:what miracle did Jesus perform that cannot be replicated? He made 12 sincere lifelong friends after the age of 30.

Loneliness is a contributor to early death and there are tonnes of products that want you to buy to alieve. Good luck!

Leviathan,

This might seem crazy, but climbing/bouldering. I started a few months ago and I can’t stop meeting new people at 34. If you’re even peripherally social you’re bound to make friends.

AMoralNihilist,

Not seen anyone say this yet, but last year my partner and I were in a similar boat. Bumble (the dating app) has a “BFF” mode for making friends. It’s worked out amazingly for us and we now have a great group.

It can take a bit of persistence, and like dating, some won’t work out. But it’s a great way to meet potential friends, and even in relatively small cities you’ll find some people on there.

Senornomilkshake,

All our friends are from kink communities lol.

Espresso,

Do you have dogs, plants. If not, adopt one (with good preparation). You’ll meet dog people, plants people and they’re usually chill ;).

intensely_human,

Places I have made friends as an adult:

  • men’s group
  • sports league
  • work
azerial,

You could always try volunteering for an organization you both like together. I’ve met several friends by doing this, plus it’s fun.

Hazdaz,

LOL yeah good luck with that! Short answer: it probably ain’t happening. That’s the hard truth.

Lazylazycat,
@Lazylazycat@lemmy.world avatar

You have to go to things where you regularly see the same people every week or month. This is the only way.

Outside of work, my partner and I made most of our friends through music events. Going to the same kind of events a few times a month and spending time with the same people. We aren’t having kids so it’s been nice to meet other people in their 30s who also don’t have/want kids.

Blamemeta,

Have kids. Thats how you make friends. But be warned, every year you lose a little energy, and tots take a lot of it.

heretoseetitties,

Well damn. That’s what my wife and I did, still haven’t made new friends.

At one point, thought we made friends with a local couple with a kid (everyone in both families are roughly the same age) but they kept turning down our invitations to hang out. One time, their excuse for not wanting to go to the local park was because they were busy making bread. So we stopped inviting them.

Mando,

Take up salsa or any other style of dancing classes. You end up meeting new people, start planning going out to dancing clubs to practice, hang out, etc.

1draw4u,

Jodel App

OnWednesdaysWeWearPink,

Have you two tried swinging? You’ll meet a lot of exciting people that way. How do you guys look like?

Nfntordr,

I was thinking of replying that as a joke but shit, it sounds like you’re serious…

OnWednesdaysWeWearPink,

Haha. Im totally kidding… unless you aren’t…

Nfntordr,

Now aren’t we in a pickle? How ever do we find out?..

Fennario,

She is beautiful and I am short, fat, and ugly. I don’t think swinging would work out for me.

OnWednesdaysWeWearPink,

You’d be surprised! Don’t sell yourself short.

trimmerfrost,

I’m a socialphobe. My therapist told me to attend gyms, basketball and taikwondu classes with people of my age around

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