Still have them, not gonna lie, but they got way better by eating correctly. I know it sounds like woo woo peddling smoothie detox cleanse BS but not at all. Found a dietian who works with my needs and budget and it has been a game changer! She has a phd in sports medicine, no I am not an athlete but having her on my corner helps. Being correctly fed helps me feel less anxious in general, catastrophizing less, sleeping better and having a better yoga practice.
Climbing. A combination of good physical activity, mental focus and analysis, and the feeling of success when completing each climb. Leaves little space for the brain to get hung up on things and snowball its thoughts.
Nothing works so I try to just avoid or ignore it, or go to sleep if it gets too intense. Medication and therapy just aren’t effective for me unfortunately.
I still have anxiety issues. I just have more courage now so I don’t get frozen by my anxiety. I developed the courage by being homeless, and realizing that inaction is far more dangerous than action.
It’s surprising at first that simply trying to suppress one’s own internal dialog and thus staying in the moment for increasingly long periods reduces anxiety but it makes sens if you think that what feed anxiety is the constant relentless thinling about unpleasant past events or feared future ones.
Stop talking to yourself all the time about those things and that crippling fear emotion goes away or at least abates and becomes controllable.
Another thing that’s helps me is positive affirmations. Twenty minutes or a half hour in the morning, changing your thinking for hours afterwards. You will feel your brain resolving your inner thoughts positively instead of negatively. And the more you do it the easier it gets, until it becomes just how you think. The more time we can spend thinking positively the more everything just sort of falls into place, or at least our reactions to things.
Good question and maybe kind of brave to ask. Regardless, props for asking a very human, deeper question.
I don’t have this figured out, but below are some of the things that help me. Many are free, or close.
Meditations. I used guided for a while and now if I know I need to slow down, I’ll pause and meditate for a minute or so. It took a while to build the quicker slowdown, but it’s often available to me.
Stoic philosophy. This isn’t stoicism in the classic sense. It’s about learning what matters, what you can control, and learning that that’s just about all you can do. Extrernal validations are nice, but can’t be expected or relied upon. Sometimes life sucks, but we can change our internal climate (with practice).
Within philosophical stoicism, I think The Subtle Art of not giving a Fuck helped. It may not be seen as stoic philosophy, but it’s a layman’s guy to that very idea. Helpful.
YouTube channels : Mark Manson & Daily Stoic
Other meditations that helped were things like Tara Brach. Kinda woo at times, but her voice and tone slow things down for me and the messages are often relatable. I’m not into manifestations or all that, but an easy, slow, modulated voice gets me. Especially if the message is about self forgiveness.
My wife. So much that. She’s mine and I’m not sharing. But the idea remains. If you have someone supportive, who you also support, it helps.
Strangely, reading the Nauceous Nocturne within the Essential Calvin and Hobbies. I kid you not. Calvin’s in the dark and all these monsters, events and catastrophes emerge in horrible, amusing, cartoonish form. Then? By simply existing and being noticed by a monster, Hobbes scares away the fears. Find a Hobbes. Be a Hobbes. The monsters are often in our head.
Support others. It gets us out of our circles and we see other (sometime worse) life events and we see people endure. Help them endure. Be kind.
Nest egg. If possible, having some amount of back up money in the bank that is there for major life events, even if it’s not enough… It helps. Financial exposure and concern was one of my biggest - no, Is one of my biggest triggers.
Therapy. Did that for a while, got to a better place with CBT and such. Then if I see erosion, I do the above things and if I think I’m losing ground, or that it’s time to gain more, I go back to my therapist for a few months of every other week sessions.
Journaling. I don’t do it often, but it can help slow thoughts, reveal them, and upon rereading show us where we can or could turn the conversation we’re having with oursleves. I see some of my anxiety as self abuse, so I’m trying to learn to be kinder with myself. I’m already, usually, kind (but firm) with others. I just hold myself to these standards that… They’re lofty. I’m a person, too, so I have to give myself permission to be less than perfect.
I’m still learning. I think we all are. Hopefully something in here helps. Am open to dialogue here or otherwise. Regardless, anxiety sucks and I hope you find what works for you, chips away at it, and find a steadier emotional life. That roller coaster isn’t fun.
Edit: Walks also help. More so if nature is involved.
quit toxic workplace: still took years to shed that baggage, still have some baggage
catastrophising: “what’s the worst that could happen, really?” Followed by “is that actually a problem?”
I think the last one was the most useful as it’s a fundamental mindset change.
One thing that really aggravates my anxiety is/was travelling anywhere.
Working out that being late travelling to the in-laws (a 4-5 hour car journey), which would annoy the shit out of them, really didn’t matter was amazing.
Did a full blood panel, turns out I was GABA deficient. Doc recommended a hero daily dose for a year and I’ve been good since. My neurologist recommended EMDR for the PTSD that precipitated the deficiency, and that’s been helping a lot.
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