dadjokes

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SpaceToast, in What has 5 toes but isn't your foot?

What’s red and tastes like blue paint?

Red paint.

zammy95,

What’s brown and sticky?

disney,

Chocolate except I spilled glue on it

Thteven,
@Thteven@lemmy.world avatar

Sir that is a grandpa joke.

balrogslayer,

A stick!

I love this one, always gets a chuckle.

simo, in What has 5 toes but isn't your foot?

God.

Good one dad !

shortwavesurfer, in I borrowed a bunch of tables from friends for a garage sale last weekend, and gave them back yesterday.

Oh my, this one is really bad, LOL.

spongebue,

It’s a true story, too! One friend was out of town during the sale. I left them in her garage, texted her to let her know I brought them back, and interrupted my own text to take advantage of the opportunity 😀

guyrocket, in Do You Know Why People In Athens Rarely Get Up Before Sunrise. Dawn Is Tough On Greece.
guyrocket avatar

Not sure the youngsters are going to understand.

UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT, in A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood

I think this is the first time I’ve guessed the punchline to a new joke on my own. I feel so proud. So empty. Still proud, though

__little_omega,

How can you be empty if you’re “full of pride”?

UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT,

Many bags

Deceptichum,
Deceptichum avatar

It’s like buying a loot box, you get that sense of pride and accomplishment but it’s meaningless.

UNWILLING_PARTICIPANT,

Exactly!

Ageroth, in I'm going down to the office supply store with my friends Dr. Tran, Zachary, and Ms. Shen. We're gonna buy some supplies to make trans rights protest signs.

Holy shit it’s Dr tran!

Xariphon,

Glad somebody beat me to this.

Froyn,

FROM A CUP!

guyrocket, in How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
guyrocket avatar

That

Sleighed

Me

MTLion3, in How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?

O O F. That’s quite the dad joke lol You know it’s good when it hurts my soul

downpunxx, in two fish are in a tank
downpunxx avatar

In a Russian tank : If we get hit, I hope you are flying fish

metaStatic, in What has anxiety and sits at the bottom of the ocean?

That pun is rich

Hotdogman, in I recently bought 51% of a vampire hunting company.

Wood this joke have any point to it?

ininewcrow, in So, I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer this morning...
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

This one is so bad … it took my feet right out from under me

jcit878, in I just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome.

couldnt put it down!

Odo, in Why are the melons all single?

And what dog do they keep for companionship?

A melancholy.

Orbituary, in Google’s Got Dad Jokes…
@Orbituary@lemmy.world avatar

Pretty sure you don’t know what a dad joke is.

Holyginz,

Honestly it’s not a joke dad or otherwise so no idea how it has so many upvotes currently.

lightsecond, (edited )

Because it’s unintentionally funny even though not a dad joke and people might be seeing this on their all feeds without noticing the community name. It made me expel air out of both my nostrils at the same time.

flipht,

Aka breathing. So intense.

Orbituary,
@Orbituary@lemmy.world avatar

Still not a dad joke. It would have been funnier posted elsewhere.

Orbituary,
@Orbituary@lemmy.world avatar

Because most people are morons.

saltesc,

I’ll have you know most other religions dwarf Mormonism.

Hegar,
Hegar avatar

Most religions are just branches of Moronism

saltesc,

I don’t see what botany has to do with this.

smokedclover,

You wouldn’t beleaf it.

HonkTonkWoman,

Mmmhmm. Spicy.

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