HappyFrog,

But the question wasn’t if we’d rather be trapped with a bear or man, but rather if who we would like to meet in a forest randomly.

Wolf is the best option.

udon,

Trick question, Wolf is a male surname.

Vespair,

Wolf. Not only do I think my chances are better, I’d also feel less bad about trying to fuck up a wolf if I had to

ItsMeSpez,

Considering there’s basically no chance of fucking up the gorilla, I don’t think you’d have to worry about the ethics of the situation.

Vespair,

I’ll admit “trying” was doing a lot of heavy-lifting in that sentence ;)

FlyingSquid,
@FlyingSquid@lemmy.world avatar

Are we talking a sign language-using gorilla with a pet kitty or…?

Honytawk,

A random one, so most likely not

AeonFelis,

Definitely wolf. If I get trapped with a gorilla and some shots it to save me, humanity get will get so much negative karma on top of what we are still paying from 2016 and I won’t be able to live with the guilt.

samus12345,
@samus12345@lemmy.world avatar

Run, Forrest, run!

I_Has_A_Hat,

Really missed the opportunity to have the top bracket be “Lions” and “Tigers”

Drewelite,

Lions, Tigers, and Bears, no man!

Pinecone,

All these answers about potentially killing the other party just makes the bear answer so logically stupid in every situation. No human could fight a bear but if a woman needed to kill a man it would be a much more believable scenario.

Akasazh,
@Akasazh@feddit.nl avatar

Even though it’s the most prolific killer of the animal kingdom, the winner of the competition turned out to be the mosquito.

Rhynoplaz,

My wife would probably pick the man over the mosquito. She hates those things because they always seem to seek her out.

Blackmist,

Wolf attacks on humans are rare but common enough to have their own Wikipedia page, but there’s no record of wild gorillas killing anyone.

Which means they’re either super chill, or really fucking sneaky about it.

Sylvartas,

IIRC gorillas are indeed pretty chill if you respect their territorial instincts, as opposed to, say, a chimp that might try to kill you more or less on a whim

sparkle, (edited )

for some reason i find it funny how the animals more related to humans are the more ruthlessly violent ones. apparently bonobos are much more violent than chimps, and orangutans are less violent than gorillas

it makes me wonder how aggressive early australopithecus was compared. apparently they did a lot of cannibalism so probably at least slightly more than non-australopithecus humans. they probably weren’t even close to as aggressive as chimpanzees considering how significantly weaker they were though

CanadianCarl,

I like big apes.

johannesvanderwhales,

Wolves are also a lot more common, though.

EdibleFriend,
@EdibleFriend@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks Obama.

Maggoty,

Or they happen in Africa so we don’t usually hear about them.

MeDuViNoX,

A gorilla with a wolf tied to it’s back, riding a bear.

phorq,

Isn’t that that survivalist dude that drinks piss? Bear Grilf?

MeDuViNoX,

It could be, he’s a master of any environment, and I couldn’t ask for a better companion to be alone with in the forest.

RIPandTERROR,
@RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works avatar

Apparently I’m trapped in Australia, which is the only plausible explanation for that type of abomination

xx3rawr,

Both would be skittish if you stand your ground but judging by size, one would probably be easier to convince to leave you alone.

Starkstruck,

Wolf def the safest option. Most likely to leave you alone.

JackbyDev,

We tamed them once, we can do it again!

no_comment,
KeenFlame,

Why would you want it to leave you alone?

Starkstruck,

So it doesn’t feel threatened and try attacking me. I thought that was fairly obvious.

KeenFlame,

It’s a tournament for who you want to have in the forest alone. I just wait for woman coming in and sweeping the floor

KillingTimeItself,

wolf, considering they don’t fucking exist anymore (in the US at least, also im sure they still do, just not in significant number)

Also i don’t like gorillas, they can eat shit.

gmtom,

wolf, considering they don’t fucking exist anymore (in the US at least

As apposed to the famous North American Gorilla?

KillingTimeItself,

i know, that was also part of why it was funny.

daltotron,

I thought they tried reintroducing wolves to yellowstone, no?

KillingTimeItself,

probably, no clue. Would be a pretty good environment for them though.

KeenFlame,

They exist

KillingTimeItself,

to my understanding they do exist, just in significantly less numbers than they used to, leading to the problem with deer populations that we have now, though i could very well be mistaken about that.

RizzRustbolt,

The other side of the bracket is all the cuddly ones.

gmtom,

I considered making the other side of the bracket, but figrured the posts would get annoying fast.

Also wolves and bears are cuddly??

BeMoreCareful,

Also wolves and bears are cuddly??

Absolutely, in theory.

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