As a guest I am never this type of problem, as I will usually have done an “Irish goodbye” hours before this point. If I haven’t, my only problem would be not exclaiming out loud “oh thank god” when the host whelps.
Why wouldn’t people just say, “It’s getting late, this was fun, but I need to sleep so it’s time for everyone else to leave, let’s hang out again next week”?
I have had hosts be this direct, and we all went, “okay,” and left. And came back when invited with no hard feelings. Usually D&D games, but also movie nights.
Even during my own parties or while I have people over. Stay as long as you like, even stay the night if you so desire, but I’m going to my room and passing out at 10pm no matter what, so you do you from that point on. It’s likely I’ll also forget to tell you I’m going to bed
Fun excruciating fact: the worse your social anxiety, the more desperate you might be to get rid of them and at the same time the less likely you are to go with the second option 😮💨
Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone actually ask somebody to leave where I’m from. If it gets too late and our guests are still there, guess they’re staying the night. Luckily, most people leave before then.
I’ve lived most of my life in tiny Vermont villages, for context.
In Denmark, the host will sometimes serve soup or another light dish to signal that it’s time for them to leave. It’s actually informally known as “go away-food”
I wish I had the confidence and rudimentary cooking abilities to serve guests go away-food 😆
I think the literal translation of the name is “rot away coffee” so it might have something to do with tuberculosis or leprosy? The rest is reserved for special occasions, unless you’re from Rotterdam of course.
Leading to a training montage. Years later, your roommate tries your three thousandth attempt at fuck-off soup, smiles at you, stands up and says “whelp…”
So ist the logic behind this to say "looks we were planning on having dinner about now" implying that the guest is intruding but in order to show hospitality, you'd have to invite them to the meal, so you server some plain-ass soup that won't cost you squat if the guest should accept your offer but is bland enough so that the guest will likely pass anyway?
I think it’s more like “we’ll give you a bit of food for the journey. Nothing too heavy so you’ll want to sit down for a long time, but decent food nonetheless. Now kindly scram”
I used to be more Midwestern, “Welp” or “Alright” kind of thing, but I’ve been becoming a bit more low context with time. Especially if I have my family with me. It’s a lot easier to terminate exchanges when you have a kid.
“I’m gonna go now” seems like it’s going to be too direct but people adjust pretty quickly in my experience. Or maybe everyone I know thinks I’m an asshole lol
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