@Kolanaki@yiffit.net
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Kolanaki

@Kolanaki@yiffit.net

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him). I also have a big, blue username. I tend to edit everything I write like a million times within the span of a couple minutes after posting, so if you see one thing and suddenly it changes, that was just a first draft. 😅

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Kolanaki,
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“Know any cheat codes, dad?”

“Yeah, but you’re not getting any until you learn how to win without them.”

“Aww…”

“Alright… You can have Big Head mode.”

Kolanaki,
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I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you’ll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck. None of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.

Kolanaki,
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Guess Mom wants you to be ace. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Kolanaki,
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“Do I have a human on my back? I do, don’t I? God damn it…”

Kolanaki,
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That’s how llamas do it. These are alpacas.

Kolanaki,
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System of a Down - Violent Pornography intensifies

Kolanaki,
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ant-piracy

https://yiffit.net/pictrs/image/adb2d62d-e997-4a7c-a782-c006bd0f07c2.jpeg

Kolanaki,
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But they spent it all on a green dress (but not a real green dress, because that’s cruel).

Kolanaki,
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Being silly has changed many a king’s mind.

Kolanaki,
@Kolanaki@yiffit.net avatar

I actually was recording when I made the most gnarly mun landing ever in KSP. I ran out of fuel, was going too fast to not explode. I moved Valetina to hang on the outside of the craft, and moments before impact, I had her jump off. The resulting explosion from the module was juuuust enough counter force to prevent Valentina herself from hitting the ground too hard and she lived to plant a flag. To date, it’s the most impressive thing I’ve personally managed in the game.

youtu.be/v2CdIZXO0tQ?si=NKeFV52Q5Edqugw5 (skip to about 22:30 for the “landing”)

Kolanaki,
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That’s the plan. We’re still working out how. How long can Kerbals live without food and water? 🤔

Kolanaki,
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Have you tried spreading your arms, inflating your throat, and dancing around as you yell it, though?

Kolanaki,
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Whatever you do, don’t open “singularity.zip.” If you do, you’ll have to be responsible for a whole universe.

'Horrific' violence at UCLA after counter-protesters attack pro-Palestinian camp (www.bbc.com)

Violence erupted at the University of California, Los Angeles after pro-Israeli counter-demonstrators attacked a pro-Palestinian campus encampment. Bubbling tensions on the campus boiled over following the alleged breach of a “buffer zone” between the rival groups.

Kolanaki,
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They sealed the deck with tar to prevent pesky protestors from leaking in.

Kolanaki,
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And it’ll make you do so simultaneously as it causes you to physically split into two different versions of yourself if you ever take the transporter within 4 hours of consumption.

Kolanaki,
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Make it the size of the moon. Now it’s a doomsday weapon?

Kolanaki,
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points to random door

You, which kind of butts would the other guy say he like?

Kolanaki,
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Both seemed to have turned recently. Both of them in recent stand up specials they’ve released since 2019 have said, on stage, they are Republicans and expressed views consistent with that in their routines. It was a shock to me, considering I remember them being very anti-conservative back in the 90’s.

Kolanaki,
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Both.

Kolanaki,
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The slide is also now suing Boeing.

Kolanaki,
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It’s been hella long since I played this. And I think I only ever had a demo. Has anything even gotten close to simulating (Hollywood) hacking that’s as fun as Uplink? I can’t believe the concept hasn’t evolved in all these years.

Kolanaki,
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A virtual one. All the benefits of a big screen without

  • High price tickets
  • high price snacks
  • Sticky seats
  • Other people

And as a bonus, you don’t need special glasses to watch the 3D movies. You’re already wearing them!

Kolanaki,
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I never feel conflicted when I drink a nice, refreshing Dr. Pepper©. 😉

Kolanaki,
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I like to think they’re just random tchotchkes that an artist made to sell. Like random doodads you might put on your desk that have no function or reason to exist other than for its aesthetic appeal, and mass produced for someone to make a buck on.

Kolanaki,
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I like to make the same sounds that turtles make when fucking.

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