You can be banned from Blahaj for calling out transphobia

I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.

A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.

So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.

Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.

This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.

The thread where all this happened: lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969

ezri, (edited )
@ezri@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Nah wtf are you on about

Literally just making drama out of nothing

FirstMajesticComet,
@FirstMajesticComet@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

They’re a troll, trying to make a disagreement with someone out as being transphobic and also trying to paint this whole instance as transphobic because they got banned for their rudeness and hostility.

Pratai,

No is on your side in this. That was apparent in the other post about the exact same thing- where everyone told you you’re wrong.

Take the loss and use it to grow into a more tolerable person.

DroneRights,

Actually, those Hexbear people were all on my side on this, and about half of the Beehaw people. None of the Blahaj people were on my side. So based on direct observation, I would say that Hexbear seems very trans friendly, Beehaw seems somewhat trans friendly, and Blahaj seems very trans unfriendly. I created an account on Blahaj to see if it would be a good place to be open about my gender and sexuality. Ada tells me, the answer is no. And when I tell others about my experience, Hexbear users flood my post to tell me the way I was treated was wrong. I think I like Hexbear.

Pratai,

ROFL.

Zirconium,

Very crappy attempt at advertising hexbear. Don’t know why they’re complaining they can’t force everyone to be political 24/7 here. Just go do it in your own space y’know

DroneRights,

Everyone’s already political 24/7 here, and I’m not complaining that they aren’t. I’m complaining about the transphobic propaganda here. It has bigger implications than a single space, and it gets people hurt.

Zirconium,

I’ve never seen transphobic propaganda here. What are you on about?

Pratai,

This person clearly has psychological issues.

FirstMajesticComet,
@FirstMajesticComet@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

They’re talking out of their ass because they’re trying to put down blahaj.zone due to being salty about being justifiably banned for their toxic behavior of trying to force politics onto others.

FirstMajesticComet,
@FirstMajesticComet@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Good, I’m glad you found a place you like, please go there and leave us, we don’t want you to force your views onto others who aren’t willing to discuss it, hexbear users do that which is why they’ve been defederated time and time again (and probably will continue to be in the future).

Also FYI you shouldn’t base “trans inclusivity” on whether or not people are willing to argue with you, trans inclusivity is based on supporting trans people and their rights to be respected and exist as human beings, to have equal rights as the rest of us, not for them to be able to step on others and force ideas onto others when they’re not willing to discuss them. For the record not wanting to discuss politics isn’t transphobic.

DroneRights,

I didn’t base trans inclusivity on whether people are willing to argue with me, I based it on whether they spread propaganda that harms trans people. And if Blahaj is home to propaganda that harms trans people, then it simply must also be home to counter-messaging and trans protection

FirstMajesticComet,
@FirstMajesticComet@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Not willing to discuss politics with you or otherwise is not spreading propaganda that harms trans people. Go to hexbear if you want to do this reactionary hyper political discussion, people here want none of it, and honestly I don’t blame them, it’s really cringey to go around saying people are transphobic because they won’t debate politics with you or otherwise.

HappyMeatbag,
@HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org avatar

Politics are often frustrating, stressful, and depressing. Social issues are extremely important to me, but my own mental health has to come first. I want the world to be a progressive, empathetic place. The news constantly reminds me that it isn’t. That gets overwhelming, and sometimes I need a break.

Additionally, different people use social media for different things. Some people specifically want news, current events, and political discussion. Some people just want to take a break from the world, look at pictures of cats, and talk about pop culture.

Then there are people who “hate politics” because discussing politics can bring out the worst in others - or they know it will bring out the worst in themselves. That doesn’t even have to mean that there are problematic opinions involved. They just think that they (or the other person) might get too emotional or pedantic to have a reasonable discussion, so they avoid the situation altogether.

I don’t think it’s fair to make assumptions about someone simply because they want to avoid politics.

DroneRights,

You’ve misunderstood my point because you think that politics means bad news. Politics doesn’t mean bad news. Politics means group decision making. The belief that politics means bad news was created by transphobes and has been used to attack trans people, and will get trans people hurt if you spread it. It’s harmful propaganda. Please don’t spread it.

I agree with you, everyone here should have the right to avoid reading about controversy. And given that “politics means bad news” is a controversial statement, I don’t think anyone here should be saying it.

HappyMeatbag,
@HappyMeatbag@beehaw.org avatar

What I actually said was

Politics are often frustrating, stressful, and depressing.

As you know, the difference between “often” and “always” can be very important.

Selectively ignoring the meaning of words and then arguing based on that is a tired, old tactic many of us have encountered before. I have no reason to believe that’s what you’re doing, but I thought you should know how it looks. People may think that you’re trolling. Please be careful.

southsamurai,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

And you think it’s a good idea to spam this post across multiple instances? Ffs homie, not cool. This is the third post of this I’ve seen. You gotta get a grip

DroneRights,

I was always taught “If you see something, say something”. I know the patriarchy really likes it when victims of antisocial behaviour stay quiet, but I don’t like the patriarchy and I don’t like what you’re saying.

Alfiegerner,

I don’t think you’re taking any of the feedback with a growth mindset.

DroneRights,

Sure I am. I’d like Abigail to grow beyond transphobia, I’d like Ada to grow beyond defending transphobia, and I’d like the users to grow beyond tolerating transphobic administration. In terms of my own growth, well I need to get better at explaining these concepts because I am clearly losing the neurotypicals in this discussion.

Unless “growth mindset” is a dogwhistle for demanding everyone agree with you?

Alfiegerner,

I reckon troll. Too on the nose for finding things to disagree about.

DroneRights,

You think I’m a troll because you can’t connect to me with your sense of empathy. Your sense of empathy isn’t working because you don’t have my consent to go poking around in my head. As a swarmgender person, mind-melding is how I have sex. And I don’t want to fuck you, so I’m not going to let you into my head. So yes, you can whine that I refuse to fuck you, you can accuse me of doing it because I’m an evil scary troll. But all you get to be at the end of that is a sexually harassing asshole.

Alfiegerner,

Lol

ada,
@ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

You got a 24 hour ban for your response stating that you intend to take a malicious compliance approach by threatening to report everything that I had already talked to you about.

It will become a permanent ban if you carry through with that

mashbooq,

The post you linked shows Ada and others interacting with you politely and patiently while you seem determined to create a problem. The issue here is clearly not Blahaj.

DroneRights,

No it doesn’t. It shows Ada creating an unsafe environment for trans people and using ableist gaslighting to justify it

mashbooq, (edited )

No, it clearly doesn’t show Ada creating an unsafe environment or being ableist.

moonsnotreal,
@moonsnotreal@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Did you even actually read Ada’s response?

FirstMajesticComet, (edited )
@FirstMajesticComet@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Clearly they didn’t, it would seem reading comprehension is not their strong suit.

Catoblepas,

Wow there sure is nothing suspicious about a 3 day old account saying they’re triggered by being told to not make everything into a political discussion because lots of trans people use this instance as a place to escape their real life oppression for a while!

At least you were honest enough to link what actually happened at the bottom and show how patient and polite Ada was in response to your attempts to get your way regardless of what the server owner wants hosted on their own server that they moderate in their free time and at personal expense. Jesus Christ, get a reality check.

DroneRights,

I was triggered by a person saying there are no politics on their feed and they don’t want it there. As I said, I’ve been told my whole life my gender is political. A safe space is a space where I can stand up for myself when no one else will. And Ada confirmed that Blahaj isn’t a safe space with the firm position that trans people are not to stand up for themselves when they see transphobic content.

Vlaxtocia,

Just go back to hexbear, you’re only over here trying to cause an issue.

DroneRights,

I’ve never been to Hexbear. Today a hexbear user asked me to join and I expressed skepticism because I heard that those people are genocide deniers. But they are clearly trans-friendly and you are clearly not, so I believe I have been persuaded.

Zirconium,

Oh yeah hexbear. The most trans friendly space, just don’t let them tell you Russia or China is safe for LGBTQ+ people

DroneRights,

I… won’t. I dated a russian girl, she thought the jews control the media and I broke up with her for it. I wasn’t allowed to voice chat with her because she couldn’t let her parents find out she was bi. I know what Russia is like.

AlataOrange,

Then go? If you don’t want to be here then leave.

No one is making you post this. No one is making you stay. You are free to leave whenever you like if you don’t like this instance. You’re free to create your own instance if you want.

Pratai,

You’re the one forcing the gender topic here. No one cares who you are or what you do. Stop forcing an argument.

DroneRights,

So you’re saying you find talking about the topic of gender diversity unpleasant? Sounds transphobic

BradleyUffner,

Are you doing some kind of challenge to see how many instances you can get banned from?

Pratai,

Holy shit! You are dead set on hanging labels on everyone that doesn’t kiss the ass of whatever point you’re trying to make.

I never said anything was unpleasant. I said no one cares but you.

Catoblepas,

I’m not playing this game where you just reiterate the worst faith take possible and act like nobody can read what was actually said. You’re not going to be able to get me to engage with it because I’m not playing pretend with you.

It is sick to try to whip up a mob against a trans woman for telling you the rules of the server and expecting you to abide by them. I don’t care if you’re doing it because you’re a troll or because you’ve got fucking brain worms from spending too much time in online spaces where the person who does the best wounded dove act wins, but either way it is a fucked up way to interact with people.

DroneRights,

I get it, you hate neurodivergence. I know what “brain worms” is code for. I’d be willing to give you a 1 hour lecture on what life is actually like for nonbinary people and how people like this harm us, but somehow I don’t think you’re willing to see any perspective except the neurotypical one. If you can’t see something at first glance from your own personal perspective, clearly it doesn’t exist.

Catoblepas,

You know what, as an autistic trans man I’ve been in too much therapy to keep engaging in this lmao. Everyone who isn’t a shithead, thank you for making this instance how it is.

Alfiegerner,

Pretty sure troll at this point.

DroneRights,

You just think that because I don’t want to be in your hivemind. You’re mad I won’t consent to mental relations.

Gormadt,
@Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Not to mention said 3 day old account shilling for Hexbear after it’s been defederated last week

spaduf, (edited )
@spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

What was your old username? Would be helpful to look you up in the modlogs

EDIT: Actual response from Ada as far as I can tell:

You’re talking about an ideal, a theoretical idea of what politics is.

Abigail is talking about her ability to use social media without being drowned out by transphobia and other awful events.

It’s not 100% achievable, but we can work towards the experience we want. Abigail has made her preferences clear, and this space exists specifically for that reason. There will be no “what aboutism” or “just asking questions” style of transphobia. Anything like that gets banned/blocked immediately. Shitty stuff happens, everyone in this discussion is aware of it. We do our best to make sure those conversations are opt in instead of opt out though.

Everything is influenced by politics, but not every discussion is about those politics. So no, in this space, not everything is political, except in an abstract sense.

If you’re looking for a different experience to that, you may struggle with the moderation policies of this instance.

DroneRights,

What community do you moderate? Your page isn’t showing anything

spaduf,
@spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

Modlogs are public. Not just for moderators.

DroneRights,

Oh, I linked the thread at the bottom of the post

DroneRights,

Yes, I had a discussion with Ada about that. She was initially misunderstanding me as thinking I wanted controversy, but actually, I just didn’t want people spreading inflammatory rhetoric that leads to abuse. I wanted less of the controversy that attacks trans people for existing, and Ada was firmly opposed to that goal

spaduf,
@spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

In conclusion you are @PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES in the exchange.

DroneRights,

Yes

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