So I'm like terrible about self promotion and using hash tags, and if I want a following that can actually have a positive impact on my life I gotta do some gross shameless self promotion (I should just break down and write 3 essays how I'm a good scientist if I can do this). I'm to be the very best, the best there ever was POK-MASTODON. Everyone should follow me, your friends, your family, everyone.
@jaschop Its without a question one of the most hard things for me.
I'm truly a nervous wreck, I'm so shy I sometimes can't reply to comments or engage and connect with people which for me being here is the entire point-- because so many people in my life have rejected me for my life style, I clearly always fear rejection. But this is a bold attempt to overcome that.
@ekis
like recognizes like, I suppose. For me the struggle is more with perfectionism, and feeling like a fraud the minute I take any of my work on a stage or in front of a class.
Which is why improv compsci classes sounded immediately rad to me, I should check 'em out :D
@ekis
Giving talks, mostly. (Not a very musical person.) I've been pushing myself to get out there and not brood over my work forever.
It's been working well... at least for networking and such 😅. I still feel hypercritical of myself afterwards. I think school gave me some unrealistic standards of excellence, and it makes it hard for me to acknowledge that I'm trying my best.
@jaschop I'd love to give talks, but the talking in public thing is my nightmare.
I've always felt better in smaller groups.
I just way over think things, and with that many people to think about it drives me mad. I can barely ask questions at conferences. But I have been pushing myself.
I have wanted to give talks on grey-research I do.
@jens@jaschop I appreciate it I haven't done it for literally months and wasn't very good at it back then.
Which is why I'm writing boring software to help me do production better so I make less mistakes and can focus on what I think could be interesting, doing hardware hacking and showing the interface between hardware and software.
I really appreciate any criticism, helpful or otherwise. This is not an art medium I'm comfortable working in, and I'm trying to use it to escape depression.
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