the soviet agent. he doesn't do much and doesn't make a lot of sense. but he has one line that's interesting:
"I didn't want to do this."
there's an easy way to expand that and it's a bit cliched - in fact it's such a cliche that I honestly wonder if this wasn't in the script and they weren't willing to shoot it this way.
all you need are basically two more lines and he's a much more interesting character. these lines are:
"I had a choice - me or my family. I chose my family."
In real life, the soviet union did a lot of that. it wasn't their only approach or even their first; it was part of the toolkit.
@moira ok, I don't Monsterdon (no shade, just not my bag or my schedule).
But I enjoy your writing so I am reading this anyway, so know that exit stage down got a genuine cackle out of me.
1: In response to the 60kg crack: "I went though all the same training you did, Major. Every last piece."
"You didn't have t..."
"Yes, Major - I did. Every last piece."
(Leave what exactly unstated.)
2: Somewhere still on earth, a little less than midway through, and you need to translate this to 50s speak: "I don't hate you, Major. God help me, I might even kind of like you - or I would if you weren't a giant dick to me all the time. That's what I hate."
One of the reasons Major Moore is such an asshole is that he's convinced Colonel Briteis does hate him. Smack that out early enough, then you get some time to let the... ugh... relationship... actually develop a bit.
3: I'm not here to change the plot, I'm here to fix the one we have, and that includes the horrible marriage ending. But changing this is critical: he doesn't get the Man Promotion at the end, and the film closes on:
"I hope you don't mind being married to your commanding officer, Bill."
He sighs, and pulls a fairly sitcom dad-like face, maybe even for the audience, and says:
"The things I do for my country!"
[Music swells, kiss and cut to credits]
And that's the blowout. That still keeps the stupid assigned-marriage crap but both subverts the worst of it and lightens the load; relax, audience - sure, we're serious, but we're not not that serious.
This doesn't make it good, but I really do think it makes it a lot less bad.
More importantly, all of these things make it a better version of the kind of film it's trying to be. They fit well into 1953, particularly the developing cliches of 1953, which make up the lock, stock, and barrel of this film. You can't break that too badly.
But you sure can use them better than this film did holy shit. You can make it at least not be fucking creepy.
And with that creepiness removed, the audience gets to end the film on a little bit of a laugh. The happy ending has some domestic comedy to it, vs. some... ownership-of-women and vaguely-serial-killer vibes.
It's gonna be a happy home that'll sure be happier once more ships get there, but the key thing is they'll still be alive at the end of it. Relief crews won't be showing up to some kind of murder scene. Those crazy kids, they're gonna be okay.
Anyway, that's tonight's episode of Let's Fix It Theatre, featuring Project Moonbase, a film that doesn't deserve this much thought. Thanks for coming! xD
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