I don't think you're alone on the Southern Reach books by Vandermeer. I did read them, but holy moly it was a slog towards the end. It's a trippy slow psychological descent. Without any concrete aspects for the reader to hang their hat on, it's exceedingly difficult (for me at least) to get a picture of what's going on, what's really happening. I think they're well written, but they are not really my thing.