Local woman convinced that misogyny is no longer a problem thanks to man shouting "Not All Men" every time she talks (chaser.com.au)
Taylor Swift Begins Day By Playing Video Reminding Travis Kelce Who She Is, How Long They’ve Dated (www.theonion.com)
Boeing Swears They Just Only Hire Suicidal People (thehardtimes.net)
‘Sorry I’m Late—These Protesters Were A Nightmare,’ Says Blood-Splattered, Riot-Gear-Clad Biden Entering Press Conference (www.theonion.com)
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Abuse shelter relocates to a coal mine in hopes of getting government funding (chaser.com.au)
Tesla Lays Off Entire Team Behind Brakes (www.theonion.com)
AUSTIN, TX—In the latest round of layoffs for the company’s struggling automotive division, electric vehicle manufacturer Tesla fired the entire team behind brakes, sources confirmed Wednesday. “As we continue to rightsize the Tesla workforce, we have come to the decision that stopping the car is no longer a critical...
Trump Boys Bake Dad Cake With Gavel Hidden Inside (www.theonion.com)
Columbia University Gives Students Option To Finish Classes From Prison (www.theonion.com)
NEW YORK—Emphasizing that it was their only option amid the rampant protests that had erupted on campus, Columbia University announced Monday that it had given students the option to finish classes from prison....
Cop Practices For Long Day of Busting Protests By Beating Teenage Children at Home (thehardtimes.net)
Kristi Noem Saves Face by Claiming Dog She Shot Was Infected with Woke Mind Virus (thehardtimes.net)
Audi and BMW in desperate battle to release most arrogant autonomous vehicle (newsthump.com)
Landlord Forced To Raise Rent Due To Thinking Of Bigger Number (www.theonion.com)
American 18-year-olds stoked to vote in last presidential election (www.thebeaverton.com)
FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their lifetimes....
J.K. Rowling Explains Goblin Rebellions Were About States’ Rights (hard-drive.net)
Why me arbitrarily giving verification to notable Twitter users is good, but the last regime arbitrarily giving verification to notable Twitter users was bad, by Elon Musk (newsthump.com)
Cop Beating the Crap Out of College Student Looking Forward to Two Weeks Paid Vacation (thehardtimes.net)
New York - Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a peaceful protester at Columbia University…
Twilio cofounder Jeff Lawson appears to have just bought The Onion (www.businessinsider.com)
$1200 Graphics Card Opens Two Extra Google Chrome Tabs (hard-drive.net)
Dad Blows Through 10 Of Child’s Snack Packs In One Sitting (www.theonion.com)
'We Support the Right to Freedom of Expression,' Says University Official Who’s Trying to Contact the National Guard (reductress.com)
Columbia University Qualifies That Students Only Allowed to Stage Protest if It’s Quiet and Ineffective (reductress.com)
Breaking News (theshovel.com.au)
Telstra shares soar to record high
Woman Jealous of Cat’s Health Insurance (thehardtimes.net)
Extra Egg Roll Thrown In By Mistake Becomes Man’s Sole Reason For Living (www.theonion.com)
Boeing Expresses Condolences in Advance of Second Whistleblower's Suicide (hard-drive.net)
