Republican Presidential Candidates Undergo Mandatory Genital Checks Ahead Of First Debate
MotoAsh, Ron looks sad. He must have an innie.
rtxn, If there is a god, it must be a trickster to have given me the ability to read and then allow me to read your comment.
RizzRustbolt, “THEY’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR FIVE HOURS!”
LEDZeppelin, Looks like Ron failed the genital test
blackluster117, 
I hate penis inspection day.
ralen_jor, That was the worst day of gym class back when I was in middle school
dm_me_your_boobs, I love The Onion.
UlyssesT, I assumed this was a bit, but I really can’t deny how possible it’d be as a performative stunt for the leading GOP nazis to do something like that in the near future as a “see? The fundamentalist police state isn’t that bad!”
I think the only reason it hasn’t happened yet is that the GOP nazi leaders are too fragile to even go through a single performative gesture that might make them uncomfortable, even for a political end. Yet.
WilloftheWest, Either I have brain rot or have become really jaded to the republican anti-trans agenda (probably both). I fell for the title for about a second.
clutchmattic, It is so perplexingly credible
HellAwaits, I knew it was satire right away, but I wouldn’t put it past any of these republican idiots.
halcyondays, The onion looks like mainstream news, and mainstream news looks like r/collapse. Shit’s getting weird.
WarmSoda, Onion had been on fire recently.
m3t00, 
Bet men’s room is fun at their conventions
iByteABit, This would be a strong entry for a “Onion or not?” drinking game
The_Worst, Am I reading the title right?
Edit: got woooshed but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. 😅🤣
RedQuestionAsker2, 
Pretending this would phase them as if these freaks wouldn’t love to whip their dicks out for hog fanfare
keepcarrot, A trans man would have an unfair biological advantage in politics
barrbaric, Ah, but who checks the genitals of the genital checkers? How do we know that they’re not all just in on it?!
AWildMimicAppears, 
thats what circlejerks are for
theodewere, 
just a little package check on the way in, nothing to worry about
InevitableWaffles, 
Just one grope, as a treat.
cjthomp, And when you’re famous, they’ll let you!
theodewere, grope the grapes.. that's what they say in Italy.. i made that up..
gentleman, @seahorse That is fucking hilarious. Hope the boy’s turtle doesn’t go back into its shell
resin85, I WAS IN THE POOL!!!
TropicalDingdong, I had to squint hard to see if this was nottheonion
hamster, It's obviously the onion. Republicans only care about your genitals, not theirs.
Ddhuud, They care about their own genitals too. All wankers do.
imgonnatrythis, I heard they don’t even wash theirs.
NotMyOldRedditName, Republican Presidential Debate Moderators Undergo Mandatory Genital Checks Ahead Of First Debate
tsonfeir, 
You’d have to squint hard to see his dick.
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