Ground includes The Onion's "American Voices" in its news aggregator (lemmy.world)
Link to The Onion article:...
Trump Supporters Explain Why They Doxxed Grand Jurors (www.theonion.com)
Vegas-Area Pawn Shop Celebrates Being 6 Weeks Away From Owning Stanley Cup (www.theonion.com)
New Twitter Homepage Features Photo Of Erect Penis That Is Impossible To Close Out Of (www.theonion.com)
Silicon Valley Investors Tout Man Who Shows Up To Steal One Of Your Bones As New Tech Innovation (www.theonion.com)
‘I Have Fewer Than Two Drinks a Week,’ Says Woman at Doctor Describing Water Consumption (reductress.com)
In a story emerging from an ear, nose, and throat doctor’s office in Austin, TX, 24-year-old Dina Thompson has decided to be honest and tell her doctor that she has fewer than two drinks a week....
How to Be Effortlessly Chill Even Though You’ll Never Be a Bossa Nova Song (reductress.com)
Everyone wants to be That Girl – cool, calm, collected without ever trying too hard to be cool, calm, or collected. But nobody is as laid-back and effortlessly cool as a bossa nova song playing in a hotel lobby on a warm summer’s day: the ultimate definition of smooth and self-assured. If you’ve ever been in an elevator or...
DeSantis Bans AP Psychology Out Of Fear People Will Figure Out What’s Wrong With Him (www.theonion.com)
Lone Survivor Wandering Through Radiated Wasteland Regrets Not Meeting Q3 Benchmark (www.theonion.com)
5-Year-Old Going To Be In Big Trouble If Mom Survives Gunshot (www.theonion.com)
Pope Francis Appears 40 Years Younger After Finally Masturbating For First Time (www.theonion.com)
Prison Guard Heats Lunch Up Inside 150-Degree Solitary Confinement Cell (www.theonion.com)
Florida Students Given Lifelike Dolls To Simulate Responsibility Of Owning Slave (www.theonion.com)
Military Family Moves Again Just As Child Was Getting Comfortable With New Regional Fast Food Chain (www.theonion.com)
‘Ah, Pissing, I Love To Piss,’ Says Ron DeSantis Attempting To Strike Up Conversation With Voter (www.theonion.com)
Cop Plays Dead To Get Out Of Confronting School Shooter (www.theonion.com)
Ron DeSantis Announces He Will Live As Slave For One Year To Prove It Not Bad (www.theonion.com)
Poll Finds Ron DeSantis Candidate Voters Could Most Imagine Drinking Beer Alone (www.theonion.com)
The Onion takes the shot and hits hard. (i.redd.it)
Texas Agrees To Humanely Stun Migrants Before Drowning Them (www.theonion.com)
Study: More Americans Moving To Sun Belt To Get Head Start On Living In Scorched Hellscape (www.theonion.com)
Man Noticing Influx of Goldendoodles in Neighborhood Starts Preparing for Rent Increase (thehardtimes.net)
Harvard Admits First White Student (www.theonion.com)
“After nearly four centuries in existence, we are finally able to leave behind our woeful legacy of discrimination and accept our first student of Caucasian descent,” said Harvard president Lawrence Bacow
OceanGate Announces Submersible Debris Still Safe To Ride In (www.theonion.com)
So-Called Atheist Still Holds Down B While Catching Pokémon (hard-drive.net)
