I'm really curious: how does all y'all feel about sex scenes? Are they irritating or do writers blatantly use them as a form of transition? Need they be explicit? Not only in movies/TV, but in prose.
@NeanderthalPride I don't mind sex scenes, but they should be done well and not too often.
As a writer of romantic fantasy, I allow myself one explicit sex scene per couple, per book. Everything else is fade to black or implied. I feel like this has been a good balance for me.
IMO, consenting adults have sex, and it shouldn't be hidden. Not including sex in our books seems like a slippery slope to making sex a shameful act, and it shouldn't be. Just make sure it's tasteful/appropriate.
@Firlefanz I watch a lot of old movies, particularly noir, and there are many chaste kisses fading to black. Or a very artfully positioned, "Darling!" I find wondering what is happening in that brief dark is more fun than watching it.
Totally understand that. Not a fan of explicit myself, usually, yet sometimes I write that stuff - because it sells and I'm in the mood.
I suppose there are as many different tastes about sex scenes as there are people. :)
The part that makes it difficult is judgment. I see sex as something essentially human, and as long as there is consent and enjoyment, it's all good. But that's just me.
(I do believe that putting sex into the context of "sin" has caused much harm.)
@Firlefanz It's never healthy to combine religion and sex. Both are complicated enough.
I'm trying to understand why an explicit scene is needed. What does that say about the characters? Is it a moment of extreme vulnerability in which we see something different in them? But so many sex scenes are identical. Lots of huffing and puffing and tits and ass.
Nothing that happens after can be the same as before. Not just events but values and goals. They have to be different with each other
I've used sex scenes for healing, for fighting, for building characters' attraction to and trust in each other... but I work to make each of those scenes important to the story.
My characters often talk during sex. (And not just "more", "harder" etc. snicker)
Otherwise, those scenes are just for decoration and gratification, and that is boring. (And yeah, after a while, the mechanics are totally boring.)
@Firlefanz I completely agree. Having characters wait to bang is also good, not only for the tension to build, but because it gives time to build circumstances for the scene to happen that are valuable and important.
Thank you for this discussion! I hadn't thought of this in this way before! I love it!
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