I am very happy when I can successfully mask and "not be seen as different". Takes energy but there is an endorphin rush. Often appears as happy, engaging chatterbox
When masking I feel like I'm not being believed, being patiently tolerated. Oddly enough, I also feel that way as I learn to unmask.
After 65 years, the masking is virtually instantaneous, like an actor who has played the same role for years.
@darrellpf@ActuallyAutistic Just like LGBT learn to fit in, we did this as a survival skill. It became part of us in ways we didn’t understand. All we knew was that to be noticed or called out was bad and sometimes dangerous.
Still my biggest challenge is being patient enough for people to finish being wordy and not cutting them off. Your words exhaust me. Stop it. But, no, cutting them off is worse… right?
So we need to be kind to ourselves and learn to #unmask.
@alexisbushnell this reasonates with me. The feelings I’m having while beginning to #unmask feel a lot like #ComingOut. We’re increasingly become aware of all the ways #masking inhibits/ed us and stumbling through how to express ourselves now that we know we just can’t live that way any more. Learning how to clarify our needs with people who mostly never realized how their behavior affected us. #ActuallyAutistic#AuDHD@actuallyautistic
Do any of you when seem to have masks that you prefer to be in vs how you feel when you're alone?
For context: This weekend i had some full days playing board games with friends of mine, and noticed the "downshift" of my facial features the moment they left the house.
However i also note that i much prefer my own temperment, im more excitable, engaged and present when around close friends vs alone where im more prone to be lethargic/depressive.🧵 1/2
@EverBeyondReach I am trying to #unmask more. Yes I fall into my masks pretty easily. But I understand the harm it dies me now. I also have my son, who hasn’t learned the #masking, to measure my reaction against… at least in some situations.
My preference is to be with people I don’t have to mask with. If I must mask then I try to minimize it at all costs. Having to deal with the #aftermath of masking us exhausting.