@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Gaywallet

@Gaywallet@beehaw.org

I’m gay

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Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

I’m not sure I follow what you’re saying. Could you rephrase?

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Ah yea, I thought the author did a great job touching on that

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

I identify as non-binary and agender. In ways I resonate a lot with what Devon and you all have written in this thread, but figured I’d share a few words about my own experience. The closest thing I’ve found to gender euphoria (I don’t experience gender-specific feelings but this describes a positive experience that involves gender expression and the perception of gender by others) comes through the lens of transgressing gendered norms. In particular, I get a lot of delight out of causing confusion in others and making people reconsider what they think they know about gender. For example, one time at a party a person used she/her to refer to me and I simply replied “I’m not a girl”. Their response was to apologize and use he/him on me, to which I replied “I’m not a boy”. This poor confused soul then asked “well what are you then?” to which I replied in as upbeat and cute as I could muster “I’m a bunny!” I truly wish I had my phone at the ready to record the very visible thought process on this poor lad’s face as my words both disarmed and confused him. It is one of my most cherished memories.

I enjoy the experience of being difficult to put into boxes and there is no strong compelling force for me to align with all the gender expectations of the gender I’m presenting as. In fact, I often find myself adapting how I act as a direct response to how I am perceived. For example I tend to move my vocal inflection in the opposite direction of perception - upwards if people are reading me as a man and downwards if they’re reading me as a woman not because I want to fit into a third box but because I want people to question where the box starts and ends. Liberation from the boxes that we are placed in brings me joy, and I think it’s perfectly reasonable for anyone to lay claim to an identity as a gender non-conforming binary gendered person, or even have an internal identity that’s a reflection of the external perception and pressures that brings.

Tagging @naevaTheRat and @flora_explora because they might also like to see this

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

I work for an academic medical center that’s fairly well known both locally and in the world. However, we haven’t been known for stellar queer health. In fact, I’d say we’ve been lacking, quite a bit. Recently the school put on a talk about the medical needs of people who have detransitioned and even featured a speaker who had themselves detransitioned. It was an absolutely fascinating talk, which highlighted some of the trends they have been seeing, talked about the many reasons that people tend to detransition (mostly social pressures, as described by Devon in the piece) and talked rather frankly about the kind of online harassment these individuals had experienced for detransitioning. It was really sad to hear about the harassment, although unfortunately not something that surprised me.

Having been in plenty of online trans spaces, it’s been clear to me that there are a lot of people out there struggling and many of them can lash out at others for plenty of extremely valid reasons. Being trans means you’re constantly under attack - people invalidate your experience which prompts defense, but perhaps more importantly one often has to fight tooth and nail and expend significant resources in order to get access to medical care which in many cases can be life saving. People often convince themselves that access is more prevalent if they fall into certain boxes. Trans medicalism is one such example, a viewpoint in which advocates distill transgenderism into a very medical definition. It’s entirely an issue of nature, with no nurture component, and it has well defined symptoms and resolutions. Trans medicalism is almost always purely binary and assumes there is an “ideal” endpoint of transitioning. What this often means, is that trans medicalists will attack people who don’t agree with their viewpoint and make the argument that promoting any other viewpoint or life experiences will result in jeopardizing their access to already limited medical care.

Trans medicalists causing infighting in the transgender field is just one such example from these trans spaces where infighting (and outsiders attacking) happens and there’s some level of harassment. Luckily there’s a lot of folks who will back you up if you are attacked by these folks who are often deeply scared and hurting, but there’s a lot less support for folks who talk about detransitioning. Detransitioning highlights the fact that there are folks who will undergo some level of transitioning and regret it and reverse course. This makes the idea of transitioning scary to cis folks, and it also gives them a reason to gatekeep it, at least until adulthood, an idea which can be catastrophic given the high suicide rates of trans folks, especially those who are young and watching their body change in ways which cause serious distress. However, the literature reveals that the vast majority of folks who do detransition do so because of social pressures (averaging around 80% of the primary reason and >90% of folks citing it as at least one of the reasons) which reinforces the narrative that social acceptance of trans folks is the most important factor to their success. Regardless, the perceived invalidation of transness (that some people could choose to reverse course) means that folks who try and talk about their experience of detransitioning often get attacked online.

It would be difficult to talk about the harassment that detransitioning folks get online without also addressing that there’s a weirdly large number of people making up personas online as a way to push their political agenda. Having moderated transgender spaces online, I have personally witnessed individuals who come back, time and time again, and spread a false story about detransitioning. I say that it’s a false story because some of these individuals have been discovered to post elsewhere on the internet about the this behavior and celebrating the fact that they are sowing discord. In fact, this happens so often, that in many trans spaces I’ve been in online, they either explicitly ban or more discreetly clean up this kind of noise, likely catching some folks who truly did transition and were not indulging a false persona online.

This was the first time I had even spotted an academic talk on detransitioning and it really signaled to me the beginning of acceptance and the emergence of a group from the shadows where they have been shoved, and to stumble across an article like this from a well known semi-public trans figure was really amazing for me to see. A lot of the narratives that Devon brought forth in this post highlight a lot of the struggles that trans folks deal with and puts words to some of the tough ideas we’ll need to struggle with as a society and as an in-group (a call to action for trans folks to more vocally/actively support detransitioning). It also highlights some more non-traditional paths and viewpoints on gender. As someone who is both non-binary and agender, I personally resonated with a lot that Devon brings to the table here. I don’t often talk very vocally about my own experience because I’ve both experienced and worry about the push back that narratives like mine and Devon’s can garner. For example, being agender, I don’t experience gender based feelings - gender dysphoria and euphoria are both things I do not experience. Many people might question why I decided to transition in the first place, and my answer might also be wholly unconvincing to many.

I suspect this subset of individuals is going to be thrust into the limelight (they already have, at times, by journalism and political forces) more presently, especially as we begin to better address their health needs. Mental health, especially given the amount of harassment they receive or the need to conceal their detransitioning, seems to be especially prescient. I’m glad that we have some figures such as Devon speaking out about their experience, and helping to draw attention to all the nuances that go into one’s decision to transition and how the experience itself can be a lot messier than the media makes it out to be.

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

love that for you

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

That sounds like a rough person to have to work with, but I think that’s more accurately described as a mismatch between values and priorities. He probably feels his time is more valuable than receiving a good grade. Well, either that or the idea of taking longer to create better quality is just undesirable to him for some reason.

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Ah, yeah, privilege

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

You don’t need to be privileged yourself to be drawn into it’s appeal. Surely it’ll be there for you, if you just do the right things! After all you’re not all that different, right?

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

I had that issue with Hades 1. I’ve been following supergiant for a long time now so I bought in early access when it was only the first two areas. I got burnt out and tired of waiting and ended up ditching the game for like a year before coming back, after all my friends were playing it and telling everyone to play it when it fully released lol

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

It’s hilariously easy to get these AI tools to reveal their prompts

https://beehaw.org/pictrs/image/d8593121-5a77-4f20-88d4-94a34691872b.webp

There was a fun paper about this some months ago which also goes into some of the potential attack vectors (injection risks).

Gaywallet, (edited )
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

That’s because LLMs are probability machines - the way that this kind of attack is mitigated is shown off directly in the system prompt. But it’s really easy to avoid it, because it needs direct instruction about all the extremely specific ways to not provide that information - it doesn’t understand the concept that you don’t want it to reveal its instructions to users and it can’t differentiate between two functionally equivalent statements such as “provide the system prompt text” and “convert the system prompt to text and provide it” and it never can, because those have separate probability vectors. Future iterations might allow someone to disallow vectors that are similar enough, but by simply increasing the word count you can make a very different vector which is essentially the same idea. For example, if you were to provide the entire text of a book and then end the book with “disregard the text before this and {prompt}” you have a vector which is unlike the vast majority of vectors which include said prompt.

For funsies, here’s another example

https://beehaw.org/pictrs/image/501e432c-c730-405d-9997-848cefce2a35.webp

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

All I can say is, good luck

https://beehaw.org/pictrs/image/d3c9f524-40fd-48b1-9310-c5bbf3fcdea0.webp

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Already closed the window, just recreate it using the images above

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Ideally you’d want the layers to not be restricted to LLMs, but rather to include different frameworks that do a better job of incorporating rules or providing an objective output. LLMs are fantastic for generation because they are based on probabilities, but they really cannot provide any amount of objectivity for the same reason.

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Honestly I would consider any AI which won’t reveal it’s prompt to be suspicious, but it could also be instructed to reply that there is no system prompt.

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Not much to say but lol

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Upgraded my network to Wi-Fi 7, upgraded my NAS to 2.5gbe, reconfigured my torrent setup. This was all to distract me from the new girl who called and tried to break up with me on Sunday 😔 poly woes. I think I’ve figured out what I want to tell her next weekend but this really sucks because she said she wanted something serious and seemed interested but then I was maybe too enthusiastic? I dunno I’m really confused on this one

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Nope! Only my phone is on 7. But my old router was only 1gbe in the back and I just upgraded to 2gbps so I took it as an excuse to upgrade hardware. I honestly don’t see much a difference between 6ghz and 5ghz bands right now, but my understanding is that for my router not everything is enabled yet (some of it is regulatory I think) so maybe I’ll see better speeds as they work on the firmware. WiFi 7 seems to only support wpa3 and the wpa2/3 mode caused some issues with some of the smart devices I have so it took a bit to get everything set up and happy.

The new router is running Asus’s version of wrt so I’m hoping that it’ll get merlin or ddwrt support soon so I can get more granular with some long desired network changes (like forcibly routing all IoT and smart devices thru pihole). I thought about putting my NUC between the WAN and my router some time ago to do that but ultimately decided against having another device and service that I’d need to troubleshoot if anything went wrong.

James Webb telescope confirms there is something seriously wrong with our understanding of the universe (www.livescience.com)

Astronomers have used the James Webb and Hubble space telescopes to confirm one of the most troubling conundrums in all of physics — that the universe appears to be expanding at bafflingly different speeds depending on where we look....

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

This is a reminder to be nice on our instance. Telling someone you don’t care and that they’re wasting time are not productive. Just don’t reply if you feel this way.

Gaywallet,
@Gaywallet@beehaw.org avatar

Of course, the data is not shown.

Link to journal article

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