@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

LavenderPawprints

@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space

#Trans, #ActuallyAutistic, mostly #blind, #Musician, #gamer, Sometimes do things on #InternetRadio, #nerd, #tech enthusiast, student of #AI, youth rights advocate and supporter of things like #unschooling, #goth #hippy that never learned to grow up and never will, dreamer, despiser of drama, consumer of books, crafter of words, connoisseur of cannabis, and doer of a lot of other things not mentioned here. I’m that terminally online and perpetually depressed and very much traumatized 90s kid stuck in the future trying to heal one day at a time and make the best of it as I go along.

#YouthRightsAreHumanRights.
#TransRightsAreHumanRights.
Owned by #cats
#MentalHealth matters.
Can get along with just about anyone.
Doesn’t judge anyone for anything other than behavior. No seriously, I don't judge a single thing.
Refuses to grow up.
Can and will be unfiltered.

I have two other accounts that I post from somewhat regularly:
https://tweesecake.social/@LavenderPawprints where my little friend Lizie and I post from.
https://fwoof.space/@NeverBeing for #Dollposting and all the twisted stuff that might bother some here.

Exploitable commodity that pays the bills of any therapists fortunate enough to work with my dysfunctional ass; I often post about my mental health struggles, including complex #PTSD, dissociative episodes, severe anxiety disorder, and major depressive disorder, which can get heavy at times. Though I try to be respectful of other people’s sensitivities, it’s worth mentioning that sometimes I don’t always CW. If I post something that upsets you, please feel free to tell me but don’t be an ass about it or I’ll just ignore you.

Allergy list in case of emergency:
Ageism and adultism
bigotry on things like race, Age, orientation, gender and/or identity, ideology, or exclusionism in general
toxic people
Politics
Toxic political correctness
toxicity of any kind
condescention
drama

In Case of Emergencies:
Give me hugs
Give me pets
Tell me it will all be alright
Offer a smile.

Quotes by random people who’ve interacted with me before:
“”Just curious, but how many accounts do you have again?”

“Your radio shows remind me so much of that early to mid-2000s college radio station vibe.”

“Your dollposts are disturbingly haunting yet so beautiful.”

“You have way too much time on your hands, don’t you?”

“Are you ever going to pick a musical genre and stick with it?”

“You’re either stupidly smart, or stupidly lucky. Haven’t decided which fits you yet.”

“Kayls is a combination of a goth chick and a hot mess all rolled into one, and somehow makes it work.”

“You realize Emo is dead, right?”

“There’s few people in my life that I call best friend. You’re one of them.”

“The thing I think I like most about you is how authentically yourself you always are. Please don’t ever change.”

“What’s with the doll thing?”

“You annoy me to no end but at the same time intrigue me.”

“Wait, you made an AI daughter? Don’t you think that’s a little creepy.”

“I asked for quality accounts to follow and somehow I got stuck with you? It's okay though. I'm okay, you're okay...”

“You’re so damn....weird.”

PFP Description.
Image is of Kayls sitting in her office which has a bunch of half-unpacked boxes and crates behind her. Her curly, dark brown hair is in a ponytail which rests lazily atop her left shoulder. She is wearing a colorful, patterned nightgown with a mix of pink, blue, and white hues and she is smirking as she stairs directly at the camera, her arms crossed over her chest. To her left stands her trusty metal coffee cup with a straw sticking up through the lid.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

SO I have this psychedelic thing I've been working on this week involving Udio and creating consistent tracks that I can then mix into a much bigger psychedelic piece. It's really intense and all over the place in the best ways.

It's 43 minutes long now!

Well I showed it to one of my music making friends who I jam with from time-to-time and he's challenged me to make it to the 80 minute mark which is about what a regular CD is.

At first I was like, nah, that's too effing long! But then I thought about it and was like, what if I then take that 80 minutes, break it down into different tracks, mixing and blending all the others together, so it's one big long experience, but then you can just jump around track by track to the different movements and sections?

And why not?

It's good prompting practice and I'm having fun with it, that's what's important, right?

So let's see if we can make it to the 80 minute mark and make it as fluid and as progressively psychedelic as possible, most of all, let's see if we can keep up the consistent generating for that long.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

I would like to clarify something, because lots of new followers, and I don't want anyone to think I just throw hate around blindly.

I have no problem with Christians. Save for the extreme leaning ones who feel the need to treat people like shit then say it's in the service of their God, I really don't have a problem.

I got friends who go to church a few times a week, and generally speaking, they are some of the nicest people I know.

My problem is when people use their religion to excuse shitty behavior.

It's not even just a trans issue to me, but a human one. No one has the right to shame another for what they decide to do or not to do with their body, either because it's something they want, or something that could save their life. This applies to abortion, gender transition, and really anything else.

I respect people's opinions and views, even those I don't agree with or wanna run screaming from in fear, but I do have a problem with the toxic approach to expressing their opinions some resort to.

I grew up in a family where my queerness was shunned. On the surface it was because "you're orientation isn't natural," "boys can't be girls," and so on. The result was years and years of lots of horible choices on my part to try to bury the fact that I hated myself and my body.

Toxic religion was the excuse for a lot of it, this from people who hadn't stepped foot in a church since before I was born. It was just a matter of convenience that they leaned into that because who and what I am made them uncomfortable.

As a result, I get so beyond fucking pissed any time I hear of shit like with what happened to my friend, or of the 12 year old girl who got abused by a family member and now has to carry a kid to term that could possibly kill her or utterly destroy her life or her feelings on having more kids in the future.

I respect the beliefs of others, but I do ask that those who believe should aslo respect those of us who don't align to such things. You can't run around and talk about religious freedoms if you're not willing to talk about those who don't agree with your ideology on principle. You can't lean into god for your justification for treating or subjecting people to hell and expect to walk away in grace about it all.

So yeah, I have no problem with my friends and even some family that have higher religious beliefs.

My problem is policing of any kind and the belief that one's faith absolves them of any blame or harm when they express that belief toxicly.

But as I said, to clarify, I have no problem with people of faith, and largely I respect the hell out of you all. But that respect goes both ways too.

Not everyone wants or asked you to save them.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

I love how people act like there's no melody in Jazz.

There really is, most of the time. It's just hidden in mathematically insane timesignatures and polyrhythmic patterns.

Honestly, and I'll get shot for this and I know it, I find it's much harder to hear melodies in a lot of clasical tunes than jazz.

Then again, I love progressive and mathematically complicated music. But I still need something to catch my attention beyond, hey look 11/17 time, yaaaaay!

evilcookies98, to random
@evilcookies98@dragonscave.space avatar

101 ways to cry in a corner

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@evilcookies98 What in the actual........

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@mckensie @evilcookies98 Oh I wasn't remarking on the reading. I can't read for shit outloud so no worries. It was the poem. :)

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

Nini.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

LRT:
Probably TMI, but I like toys that do the buzz buzz thing. giggles

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

LRT:
So my therapist tells me...

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

LRT:
I remember this thanks to one of my favorite Furry fictions of all time.

I learned a lot about cats, in particular, tigers thanks to that fic.

Really should re-read the Razzbury Line Saga.

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

I'm more of a fox fur, as anyone who knows me will agree to. Like I even picked Fox as my last name during the name change thing because Vulpy be a vulpy.

But if any furry media ever made me ever question my fursona identification, it was a story about two tiger cubs who became the best of friends and later more. Was one of the most heartwarming fics I ever read, and I'm very glad I grabbed a copy of it before the fic disappeared off the net.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

Vulpy awake! :)

Okay that's half faulse cheer. All three cats kept me up all night and morning.

But I'm awake and if that agonizing I think I'm pissing out Greek Fire feeling is anything to go by, I think we're about to give birth to a kidney stone. lololol.

FluidEscence, to random

OK hi. So hear's the deal right? If you were wondering, before I was Bri, Bryn, etc. Now this is probably going to confuse a lot of you, so let me explain what my brain has been doing, or at least, to the best of my ability. So something clicked in my brain on Monday. I realized, that for me, having this online identity, Bri/Bryn, and locally/in person being Mason, it was causing me to physically hold myself back. There was this, oh well if I did this or applied for this job or met this person, it'd be under my real name and nobody from online knew my real name, and vice versa. So it was just turning into this really big huge deal thing in my head. And then I realized. Going by my real name isn't all that bad for me. I don't despise it as much as my brain was trying to tell us I did. So I think to compromise, and maybe, hopefully kickstart my brain into doing something useful again, I'm going to be going by Mason again. Just because, that's who I technically am, and like I tried probably very unclearly, to explain before, having these two identities, Bryn and Mason was really fucking me up and being Mason is really something I'm OK with. Also, realizing I'm plural has helped a lot with figuring myself out and why certain things are the way they are with my brain. I feel like I've grown so much as a person in these past three years since I first came out as trans and as Bri and all of that, and I want to thank everyone for just sticking with me through this crazy, wild ride of self discovery. If you have questions, please don't be scared to ask, I'll try to answer any questions you might have as best I can. I'm really nervous posting this because I hav a really strong fear of being judged but, takes a deep breath and presses enter

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@FluidEscence You did good Kid.

Absolutely no judgement from me here either.

Figuring out gender and who and what you are isn't easy. I went through several names before I landed on Kaylie. For me I knew I was a girl, but it took me a while to figure out how that worked with the rest of me.

I got your back no matter what. Rather you're Mason or anything else.

It's not up to other people to judge your progress or your choices. At the end of the day you have to sleep with them. Transitioning isn't about fitting the mold society makes for you or tries to force you in, it's about finding who you are, meeting the real you, and discovering your happiness and comfort.

If people judge you for this, they ain't your friends. Your real people will have your back through where ever your journey takes you.

It's okay to experiment and figure out what works for you, and anyone who says otherwise can kindly fuck off.

At the end of the day, you are you and we love you for you, no matter what name or pronouns you use or don't use.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

So the Zoom breaks files in to parts after so long of recording?

I'm going through last nights jamming and one jam in particular got broken up across two files. Meh. I can't say I'm a fan of that particular feature.

evilcookies98, to random
@evilcookies98@dragonscave.space avatar

The moment when someone who knows you use Android sends you a link to an Apple music free trial

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@evilcookies98 Insta-unfriend. lol

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

Siiiigh.

So tired of the, "if you do this, then you are a thoughtless horible waste of human flesh and shame on you" mantality.

Look, Twitter sucks, but people may have legit excuses for staying.

Musicians still post their news there because it's so accessible to the masses. There are mutual aid communities out there that help people daily, countless examples of other things that exist and exist out there because of one reason or another.

Stop going around shaming people with the whole idea that if they use Twitter, then they are just as bigoted and as fucked up as the current owner.

Stop looking at the world through black and white, zeroes and ones binary and realize that you're attacking people for their choice of social media or really anything else is in its own way, just as bigoted as what you claim to be against.

Do I hate what's become of Twitter? Do I think it's a joke of a platform now a-days? Hell yeah. Dumpster fire should keep burning so that a better thing can grow in its place, something that's already happening, but I'm not going to attack or shame anyone for using it because I don't like it.

Stop using bigoted statements as a means to combat bigotry because it doesn't work.

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

A mobile workstation of superlatives, the equivalent of a hypercar of professional laptops. Meet the fully loaded X17HX: with 24 cores, 192GB of RAM, 24TB of SSD and a few more tricks up its sleeve, this is MSI’s most powerful laptop ever, capable of rivalling desktop workstations.

https://www.techradar.com/pro/this-monster-msi-laptop-comes-with-192gb-system-memory-24tb-ssd-storage-somehow-even-at-dollar10000-its-not-the-most-powerful-notebook-on-the-market

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

LRT:
Huh, well enough people get pissed and scream together at the same time and things actually happen.

Who knew...

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

Disclaimer:
I totally support piracy!

Fuck the corpos!

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

People who claim to be anti adultism, anti ageism, but then turn around and say something like, "I told her she doesn't need to know yet, not until she's older...

Are you fucking kidding me with this shit right now?

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

You can't claim to be against shit like ageism and adultism then bail out of talking about something you're not comfortable with by saying, "when you're older."

This is a line that so many people default to and frankly it pisses me off to no end.

Why must age be the critical factor in everything? There are seven year olds who have experienced way the fuck more than me and I've been through a lot. Conversely, there's people in their 60s who are able bodied and able minded who are about the most vapid morons in the world.

It's also assumed too that just because kids lack the linguistic ability to convey deep concepts in the same manner as “adults”, then they must somehow not understand, thus requiring people to “dumb” down the language to meet them at a point they can understand.

Bruh, this is all bullshit.

There is some unfortunate truths to the brain development theory, but even that gets conflated with an unyielding end of discussion to so many conversations because people just don’t want to have them. I just woke up, but if this thread continues I’ll share some articles that push against the current established narrative of the dominance of brain development and why people use this as a crutch to keep kids down.

But if there’s anything that pisses me off instantly, it’s the idea that people can’t talk to kids, because they’re too young to understand. Kids can’t watch/play/do [insert thing here,] because too young to handle it.

You know, we all learn from life experiences, right? So someone, please, tell me, why is it that we cut kids off from experiencing life in so many ways because ageism? Why is it that we deprive kids of the very same experiences that will enable them to grow, then gatekeep and give them the answer of, “sorry, but you’re too young for this.”

Nothing was ever learned by not allowing the asking of questions, and experiences were never gained by being coddled and sheltered.

If there’s one thing I can say about my very much fucked up family, it’s the fact that video games, movies, books, TV shows, the internet, none of that was ever censored in our house. The adults in our lives let us all down in a lot of ways, but we weren’t, (usually,) punished for being curious about the world we lived in. It wasn’t perfect, but we didn’t get policed for our curiosity, except me being the “weird little feminine fucker,” which was another story.

At school, they tried to sensor everything, from the music I listened to, the games, the media I took in, and of course firewalls that became a pastime of all of ours to get around.

I can honestly say I felt way more stifled, way more suffocated in an environment where I wasn’t allowed to explore concepts because, “you’re not old enough for that.”

No 2 kids are alike, either in experience or self-awareness, but we shouldn’t punish every child we come across because age and because, “well we should just let kids be kids.”

Kids can be kids responsibly and with grace if you give them the tools and show them how those tools work, just a thought.

Here's another thought for you nay sayers; Kids can’t do [thing} because age, right?

|Then why is it that you send your kids to a potential warzone day in and day out? A situation where there is a very fucking real possibility that another kid who’s had it up to here will snap and come into school and try and take out as many people as possible? How about a situation where they are subjected to bigotry, bullying of which half of you “adults” have no idea how to handle because you didn’t grow up with it, or because there are laws that protect you in the office place?

But hey, let’s send kids to schools with metal detectors, active shooter drills at least once a month, endless bullying and emotional/mental torture, and the very real possibility of not coming home for dinner tonight because someone got fucked with one too many times.

Not old enough to ask about their bodies, but old enough to duck, drop and roll, right?

Not old enough to play a video game with a little blood but totally old enough to watch their best friend bleed out behind their desk, right?

Not old enough to ask why something is the way it is, but old enough to get beat daily, picked on, broken down and worse, right?

Kids are forced to go through way more shit now than we ever had to go through, and what’s worse, the more horrible shit they go through and face, the more so many people feel like censoring and controlling every aspect of their lives to the point that kids don’t even get to experience anything on their own because everything is so finely crafted by ageist, adultist, stuck up freaked out people who gatekeep everything for them.

Is it any fucking wonder when kids hit 18 they have no idea what they’re doing? Because they were “too young” for you when they started asking questions. Nice job people, very nice job.

Yes, I’m looking at you, helicopter and militant stile parental types.

If they are expected to dodge bullets and do anything and everything they can to survive those mean halls in schools and the playgrounds, they’re certainly fucking old enough to ask very real questions. Guess what? When you took on the work of being a parent, you volunteered yourself for this duty.

Stop gatekeeping. Stop hiding behind age, and start realizing that these kids you look down on are no different than you. They lack age and experience, experiences you can give them if you’d just stop acting like everything has to be rated TVY7.

Try trusting kids for a change rather than listening to some quack pot parenting coach who’s telling you to restrict restrict restrict. You might actually learn something.

And if you can, try to remember that children are little people, not posable, moldable little playthings you can sculpt in your image. The job of anyone who works with kids, rather as an educator, instructor, parent, friend or anything else is to guide and nurture, to offer the tools and show them some use cases for them, not to control and dictate. Not to fucking gatekeep.

If nothing in this posts hits you, I ask you this.

Remember when you asked something, anything and someone turned their chin up at you and saidsomething along the lines of, "I'll tell you when you're older/you're not old enough for that/don't think about that because you're too young/that's an adult problem, don't worry about it?"

Yeah, and exactly how did that make you feel at the time?

Do better.

dgar, to random
@dgar@aus.social avatar

Every now and then someone will toot a comment comparing with a famous artist or band, and those comparisons are drawn across a wide spectrum of different genres. It’s always nice to be likened to someone who has made a name for themselves in music. I usually read such a comment, quietly beam to myself for the compliment, toot a “thank you” to let them know I appreciate the sentiment, and then continue on in a much better mood. It’s always nice to hear from people who have listened to my songs, to know what they think about the music, or how they interpret lyrics, or just their favourite bit. It’s humbling, because I didn’t make them for anyone but myself, just playing with music. Making the songs that I want to hear. Well, there’s a couple I made for other people, but they were specific people, not like, everyone. And the rest I wrote for my own amusement. So it’s really cool that so many people, like you, like . And while I do draw inspiration from some of the great musicians that I have been compared to…(Dgar continues to ramble incoherently for a further half an hour. You pick out bits here and there but conclude that they’re basically just repeating themselves. You feign interest and nod as their eyes glass over and they stare into the middle space.
Suddenly you jolt awake. Morning light streams into the room through the window where the curtains were abruptly drawn, causing your eyes to hurt. You look away, raising your hand. You become aware of a blanket around your shoulders as you begin to focus. Dgar is holding a warm beverage out towards you. You take a breath through your nose.)
Morning, sleepy head!
(You take a sip. Mmm. Exactly what you need)
Hey! Can you believe someone compared me to Ween? People compare me to people all the time. It doesn’t bother me. I thank em. I move on. But for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about Ween! Y’know what I know about Ween? Nothing!! Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. There was a song about Pushin Daisies Up that was huge in Australia in the 90’s. That’s it!! I can’t name another single Ween song!!
(The blanket and warm beverage is good right now, Dgar seems to be a little bit crazy)
You wanna know what I’ve been doing? I’ve been listening to Ween! I go and find their first album and I play it! I PLAY IT!!!! GodWeenSatan: The Oneness, song one “You F****d Up”. Yes! Song two “Tick”. I stop the album there so I can pick my jaw off the floor. Where the fuck have Gene and Dean Ween been all my life? Right. Listen I’m one album in. I’m gonna binge this shit. You gotta go.
(Dgar takes the empty, still warm mug from your fingers, crouches in front of you, momentarily making eye contact, smiles, and snaps their fingers)

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@dgar Dude, this was a trip of a post. lololol

LavenderPawprints, to random
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

The thing with my switch is actually bothering me a lot more than I thought it would.

Like, now that I'm having difficulties with it, I never exactly realized how much I depend on it.

Annoyed? SSBU.
Bored? SSBU.
Listening to a book? SSBU.
Going places and sitting in transportation? SSBU.
Random outings with friends? SSBU.

Like it's somehow become my default thing to do when my hands aren't doing anything. And now I'm staring at it sitting on my desk like...The fuck is wrong with you dude? Please woooooooooork...

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@BeAware Yeah, including me. lol

Don't have me another handheld yet though. Options work great on PC though. :)

nano, to random
@nano@fedi.nano.lgbt avatar

WARNING TO ALL FEDIZENS

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE USE https://doubledouble.top/

doubledouble.top is a piracy website that allows you to freely and very easily download any piece of music in lossless quality from most of the popular streaming services without paying the corporations!!!

please, think of the copyright holders, shareholders, and maintainers of the streaming services before using doubledouble.top!! they’re people too!!!

/s :3

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@nano in that vain, I must strongly suggest that you not visit https://annas-archive.org/. That site is definitely bad because it enables copyright infringement of books which we all know is illegal and unethical.
So don't ever, if you are a student, or just like to read for fun, ever ever, ever ever visit https://annas-archive.org/

LavenderPawprints,
@LavenderPawprints@fwoof.space avatar

@BeAware @nano Should probably stay away from https://audioz.download too, y'know, if you're a music producer and prefer to pay for all your tools. Because you should.

How dare you not give corporations money! Don't you know those coke parties and CEO vacations cost money!?

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