Sheltac

@Sheltac@lemmy.world

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Sheltac,

that’s what she said

Sheltac,

But don’t you know condoms burst at the sight of my shlong? It has nothing to do with the fact that the sight of naked me dries up a pussy quicker than a fucking hairdryer.

Sheltac,

Dry rape? Bro it’s a torture thing today

Sheltac,

Every single time I get naked.

It’s a chore.

Sheltac,

Sometimes my car decides to play some radio before connecting to my phone. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of owning a not-too-nice car.

Radio DJs are little more than advertising agents nowadays. Or worse, wannabe entertainers.

Sheltac,

Oh yeah. Some of my worst work is on those mega-inspired days where I sit for 10h and crank out 10000 words.

To this day I don’t know why I do that if I end up throwing most of it away.

Maybe it’s good to get bad plot out of the system.

Sheltac,

December

Haha, more like the entire next year.

Sheltac,

Oh it depends massively for me. One of my best (IMHO) short stories is 8k and was written over 10-12h in a day.

But that has to be a pretty special day.

On bad days I usually go into the negatives 😂

Sheltac,

Here’s how I read this:

“We’re doubling the price of this chocolate this year. Here’s a bogus excuse as to why. Enjoy.”

Sheltac,

Emulators are what I miss from android. GBA has one of the best libraries of any console, plus there’s the custom rom scene. And I have this absurdly powerful phone that can’t run any of it.

Sheltac,

Why would you not want to be placed in the smallest possible box?

/s

Sheltac,

And not having money. If I feel sad now I can go for a drive or ride to clear my mind. Also I have the presence of mind and maturity to introspect what is going on and how best to address it.

Also if I feel really sad I can always buy another motorbike.

Sheltac,

I wouldn’t buy an automatic bike, coz I ride bikes for fun.

The daily get-to-work shitbox? I don’t want to babysit the gearbox, just do your thing while I chill to some tunes.

Sheltac,

Well, I guess it’s time to finally read the wheel of time.

Sheltac,

Also no one else being there.

Also being in my home.

Also getting to work in pants.

So I guess nothing, then 👌

Sheltac,

There you go, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Thanks!

Sheltac,

I thought you fed on sovereignty like the rest of us?

You’re missing out, bruvva

Sheltac,

That’s what they always say, but no one considers the starting conditions.

Imagine you’re fighting a dead fat guy. Sounds easy, right? 300kg of dead weight just waiting for you to bury your fists in it.

But now imagine the fat guy starts next to you, standing. Can you stop 300kg of dead flabby dude from burying you? Didn’t think so. You’re gonna die a gruesome suffocating death under some guy’s quadruple chin because you didn’t consider the implications.

Come on. Be better, people.

Sheltac,

I just bought it the other day and went in blind with a friend. My god is it an insane game.

My friend isn’t even an engineer and he was talking about refactoring.

I’ll make an engineer out of him yet, you’ll see.

Sheltac,

The only reason you get that title, on either count, is that we decided to brexit.

(Using the word “decided” in the widest possible sense)

Sheltac,

Or, you know, you slammed the the bit you held into the body of the phone with a satisfying “pling”.

Now get off my lawn.

Sheltac,

todoist

Great minds think alike! Todoist keeps what I need to do on a daily basis, and obsidian holds the knowledge framework that sustains everything.

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